Water Strike -Episode 15

Episode 15

Few days later ***

(Nose killer)

(Oga landlord, dressed in a well befitting attire; prepared to go to a landlords’ meeting of which he is expected to take part in as a senior landlord in that community. He checked himself well in the standing mirror in his room and smiled. Being a proud individual, he purposely decided to dress to ki*ll, and make other landlords jealous.)

Landlady: (Entering into the room) Ahnaahn, oko mi (My husband), this one that you na dress like this, are you sure that it is landlord meeting you are going to

Landlord: (Laughs a little) My dear, you won’t understand…I need to look good naa, as the one to organize the meeting. You know that chairman is not around, so he said that I should take his place

Landlady: (helping him to adjust his agbada) Ehnehn, ok ooo, just make sure those women don’t eat you oooo, you are looking very fine ooo

Landlord: Was I not the most handsome man when you met me, I will always look handsome na

Landlady: (smiles in mockery) let me go and check what I put on the fire (she left afterward as oga landlord kept staring and smiling at himself)

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(Along a quiet and lonely road; just few miles away from the meeting venue stood the guys behind an old worn out mud building. It’s been ages since people live in that area, so it became a short cut route to the main town; although not everyone passes there due to fear of robbers and some believes that ghost lives in that area, but that is just a superstitious story to Oga landlord.)

Emeka: Guys…we have been behind this house for ages, why is he not passing..i thought you said he will follow this route

Douglas: Yes now, just calm down..he will soon pass…perhaps he is talking with someone on the road..let’s just wait

James: Haa..haaa ( sniffs his nose, side wards)

Douglas: why the nose sound naa

James: The odour coming from that thing you are carrying is not from this earth oo, ahnaha, which kain smell be that naa (he said, referring to the wrapped object which Segun was holding)

Segun: Mthcchheeww, I really spent my time to cook it, so that by the time it lands on him he will not get himself

Emeka: Hmmm, are you sure it will not ki*ll him sha, because the odour is already killing my nose oo (covering his nose)

Douglas: Shhhhh….guys guys he is coming…let’s move back a little (he whispered as they shifted to the back of the house and peeped to see their prey coming)

James: (Signaling segun) Are you ready (he whispered)

Segun: (nodded his head, with a smile)

James: Emeka, sharp guy….let the camera be clear ooo

Emeka: Sure (he winks)

James: Ok..you both will follow my command, at the count of three…let your aim be firm, and that camera should not be blur

(Oga Landlord kept walking towards their direction, oblivious of their presence. He kept singing a song in his dialect, praising himself for being a smart, handsome and rich landlord of all. He kept walking down the path with pride and a smile on his face; until he felt something cold splash on his face down to his cloth. Stunned, he turned to look at his shoulder but the odour that came from it sent him to hell for few minutes. A shiver ran down his spine for seconds, as he tried to gaze at his shoulder for the second time)

Oga Landlord: Haaaaaaa, yeeepaaaaariiiiiipaaaaaa….ki le le yii (what is this) ahhh, igbe….igbe ree….pupu..sh*t….for my cloth….someone throw sh*t on me….heeiiiee, what is all this ooo…hiiiieee. (He yelled, checking around to catch the culprit, but couldn’t find anything. He seem to be the only one present in that route; could it be the supposed ghost he has been hearing about…no ghost doesn’t puu puu, he thought and shrug it off, already shedding tears as he stared at his stained and smelling attire)

(Hiding in the secret place, the guys couldn’t contain their laughter, as Emeka made sure he recorded every bit of the event)

James: Continue to video him, let’s see what he will do

Douglas: He will have to go back (he smirked)

Oga landlord: (Staring ahead of him and at his back. He wondered what route he should follow) Should I go back or I should just continue, what is all this naa…I’m sure it will be one of those children that don’t have home training that did this.

Why will they be finding this entire bad thing to be funny? (He tried taking off his agbada to clean off the faeces on his face, when he sighted some of the landlord meeting officials coming towards his direction. He couldn’t hide again because they already saw him, and where walking closer.)

Oh Jesu…jesusss ehhnn…this people are already coming, what will I tell them that happened to my face now. (He thought, facing down in shame)

Mr. Koko (Secretary): (Opening his mouth in surprise) Ahnn ahhn….Oga landlord…is this you…abi I’m seeing someone else (he said turning to ask his fellows)

Iya Tunde (treasurer): Abi ooo, why the ahnahnn (fans her nose in disgust, and started coughing) hanahan…this sh*t get pepper ooooo….wetin happened naa..did you puuupuu and mistakenly throw it on yourself…

Oga Landlord: (glared angrily at her) mtcheew

Mr. Koko: well, we were on our way to your house oo, since we have been waiting for you and did not see you. So we decided to take this route being that it is a short cut…we did not expect to see you in this state…anyway, I have one agbo (herb) like that, it can stop purging…I will give you on my next visit…don’t try to puupuu on yourself again (he mockingly said…as everyone present busted into laughter)

Iya Tunde: Na waa ooooo, oga landlord, who wicked you like this….na this sh*t you wan take follow us, abi na house you go go…..wait ooo, how did it come on your body sef (She grinned)

Oga landlord: (Taking off his agbada, he cleans it off, as they all covered their nose, to avoid the fresh bad odour, which was arising. He hissed loudly, turning back to the direction of his house, not answering anyone who greeted him, neither did he spare his colleagues a glance as they called his name…..he was filled with rage, cursing the cause of this sudden embarrassment he received from his colleagues).

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(On getting home, Landlady sighted him and noticed his expression)

Landlady: (surprised, sighting him from afar) Ahan ahnn, so early? Dem don close?

(She asked no one in particular, trying to go close to him, but the odour coming out of his body, blocked her nose for some seconds..) yeee yee…mo ku ooo, what is…haann (covering her nose, as Oga landlord stared angrily at her, walked pass her and went inside).

(Breathing out and in, fresh air) yeee, which kain smell be that one…ahnahnn…shey he fall inside gutter….abi na carnal

Bola: (Rushing to meet her mum, breathing heavily) Maami maami…..

Landlady: haaa. what is it…why are you breathing like this…

Bola: (Regaining her breathe) haaa, maami….baami (my father) is smelling ooo….i start to perceive the odour from far….far……, i see sh*t on his cloth…

Landlady: Gbe enu e soun joorrr (Shut up your mouth) Every time, shssiinshhsi, always talking…must you talk everything. Come on, go inside and help him clean that sh*t joor….later he will come and tell me how it get on his body

Bola: Me!!….help him…..anhanh…am I his wife…..woo I can’t come and ki*ll myself oo. That sh*t smell wella wella oo. My nose is just resurrecting, you are his wife go and help him (She exit, without waiting to hear her mum’s word

Landlady: Ahnnahnn…bola..bola..come back here oo…oh you have grown wings abi …ok….

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The guy’s room**

(Laughing heartedly, they crawled into their room)

Segun: Ahhaaaahaahaa….haa, my rib..i swear…I can’t laugh enough

James: Abi oo, he thinks he is the only one that can do his own…we are more wiser that him

Douglas: And also smarter, he flogged us in his church..Making it well known that he did it, but we can’t just reveal ourselves…he will find the culprit tire he will not see

Emeka: This is technology age naa, he can’t beat the vibes..but wait oo guys….won’t he suspect us sha

Segun: He cannot…why would he..

James: But we also need to be careful, none of us should act like we know anything about it

Emeka: Then why did we decide to video it

Douglas: For future reference na……we can also use it to blackmail him….we are smart guys

Segun: Yess oo, if he tries any rubbish, we will just put it on line

James: sure thing bro…..

Douglas: This one that we did is season one, I have season two specially packaged for him

Emeka: Really?

Douglas: yes naaa…..hmmmmm,, I can’t forget what happened in his church that day…this is just the beginning…

Segun: Abi ooo, landlord or no landlord, he must leave this compound for us…..

Emeka: (sighs) hmm, hei, ok ooooo…but I’m exclude………

Segun &Douglas: We know that you will be excluded……

James: Don’t bother reminding them……

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TBC…

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Love Y’all

Vickie Dora