IS THIS LOVE
A story by Kennedy C Katongo
LOVE. LIKE. HATE -3
My cousin had a strong point, I felt like I had been doing everything wrong the past few weeks by avoiding Chileshe. With her advice fresh on my mind, I decided to respond to his message and schedule a meeting place with him.
MATIMBA: ‘Sorry for the late reply. When are you going to be free so that we meet and talk.’
@@ @@ CHILESHE @@ @@
“You have a message!” Lydia called out to me.
“Who is it?” I asked.
“It’s your girlfriend, she’s asking when the two of you can meet up.” She walked up to me in the kitchen to hand me the phone.
I had not told Lydia that I was already facing challenges in my relationship. Instead, I came up with that proposal, that way she would think that everything had gone smoothly.
“Are you guys having an argument?” She asked me. While she waited for my response, she opened the top cupboard to get spices for the meat.
“Not really. Things are just complicated.” I responded. After I had checked the message, I handed her the phone she since she was busy playing Chess.
“You know, you don’t have to be strong on your own. Am here Incase you want to talk about it.” She rubbed my shoulder and went back to the living room where she had cast my device to her TV.
My hurt didn’t take her words lightly, it hurt me. I was the one who came over to comfort her and keep her company, yet, even when she wasn’t well… She worried about me still. I let the meat boiling as I went to join her.
“I know there is something you haven’t been telling me. At times when you visit me, I can see the fear in your eyes _ you get startled by the sound of a car when we are walking. It’s like you are running if not, then you are hiding from something. I won’t force you to tell me what it is… I am confident _ when the time is right you will tell me about it.” I told her. She didn’t say a work. Her eyes were fixed on the screen, in a second she played her last move, it was a checkmate and she had won.
“You don’t have to worry.” She said in a calm voice.
‘How can I not worry?’ I thought to myself.
‘Is this how she felt when I was down to my attacks?’ answer question caught my attention.
“How can I not be worried?” I said in a more serious voice, that was followed by me laughing at myself.
“What’s funny?” Lydia asked me. She put my phone on the table and turned to me.
“This, all this is funny. How can I not worry? You were always there for me when I hit rock bottom. You were more worried than I was… And now it’s you in a similar position and you asking me not to worry; that’s impossible, I can’t see myself doing that.” I told her as I giggled.
“Chileshe…” She called out my name. Her eyes were fixed on mine. At this point, she could tell that I meant every word I had said.
“Don’t worry. Am here for you.” I told her.
Without a word from her, she just shook her head and picked up my phone to continue with her game. I saw this as an opening for me to open up on what I had been going through in my relationship. I realized in a split second that if I wanted things to work for my good, I would have to say the truth.
“You asked if Matimba and I had an argument, we didn’t. For two weeks now I haven’t seen her nor had a proper conversation with the person I call my girlfriend. She avoids my calls, if it happens that she picks up then an excuse will shortly follow. I used to send her a bunch of messages of which she would not respond. I can’t say I know her like the palm of my hand. Nevertheless, in the time that I’ve been with her, it’s not like her to behave in such a manner. With all this, I only have one reason why she is behaving this way… She is properly in another relationship.” I told her. I hoped my words were clear enough because she did not blink, move her heard or anything.
“Is that why you asked me to leave him? So that we could end up together?” She asked me. This time, she wasn’t looking at me at all.
“Well. That isn’t the wholeness of it. I didn’t want you to think am taking advantage of you…”
“Advantage of me!” She exclaimed, “Chileshe am not a kid, don’t try and treat me like one. I knew what I was getting myself into when I decided to stick with you. Do you know how horrifying it is when you have to do things just because the person you love _ the one who has stolen your heart doesn’t even know that they have stolen your heart?” She asked me.
I didn’t know how to answer her, this wasn’t the first time she had said those words to me. Hearing them for a second time was a sting.
“I don’t know about you. But for me, my feelings and emotionals towards you are a choice. I care about you because I’ve chosen to do so.” She said.
“Am sorry.” I told her softly.
“Sorry isn’t enough Chileshe.” She responded. “Let’s change the topic, please.”
@@ @@ MATIMBA @@ @@
“Why do you keep looking at your phone like that?” My cousin asked me.
“I just texted Chileshe. I was thinking he would respond immediately but that doesn’t seem to be the case.” I told her.
“Just be patient with him. He will come around. He said it was important that you guys meet and talk, am sure his not ignoring you.” “Have you asked Dad what time they will be here?” She asked.
“Let me do that. I almost forgot.”
MATIMBA: ‘Hello D. What time will you guys be home?’
DAD: ‘Expect us to be there by 6PM. Am still at work, will head to her place once am done here. I will let you know when we are on our way.’
“You see! I could have gone to see Ben after all.” I told my cousin.
“There is nothing wrong with you staying home for a change.” She said happily.
“You are evil.”
“Hey Matimba. Can you call him and ask him to buy us some pizza?” My cousin asked me with her bright smiley face.
“Oh No. You a proud independent woman. Your boyfriend is a big shot with a premium Netflix account. Why do we have to ask my man for pizza?” I objected.
“Hey… You can’t just be quoting Netflix every time you talk about him. Besides, his not my man, yet. I’ve already told you… His just my friend and that’s all.” My cousin said.
“Oh! So we now French kiss our friends is that so?” I giggled. I couldn’t help it. Teasing her felt very good.
To be continued…