Is this Love – Episode 36

IS THIS LOVE – Episode 36

A story by Kennedy C Katongo

 

DEDICATIONs

“You gazing at me, again.” Chileshe said. He had stopped coughing. His bottle of water was half empty now. Same as mine.

“I just can’t help myself. It’s been a while. Are you ready for graduation?” I asked him.

“I’ve never even thought about that. I doubt I will go. Am sure I will give it my thought when the time is near.” He responded.

“That’s good.” I said with a smile on my face. What was it about Chileshe that just had me smiling. It was never like this when I was around Ben.

To think about it, Ben hadn’t called me the whole day. They didn’t stop him from sending paragraphs of messages to me.

Maybe I was just overreacting, maybe a chance is what he needed to fix his mistake. However, if I compromised to the things he did which I wasn’t comfortable with – it would mean my relationship with him would be one based on me compromising every single time he did something. That would be a way for him to get what he would want.

All this reminded me of a speaker I heard back when I was in school. She said, “Your relationship is a reflection of how your marriage will be. Don’t expect things to be any different once you tie the note.” Those words had created a mansion inside my brain. Ben and I liked each other, but we just never clicked. I didn’t mind chatting with Chileshe the whole day via texts but with Ben, I could hardly pull through to 10 minutes without us running out of what to talk about.

Chileshe kept eye contact with me as we sat, “I think you should go. Besides, it’s a day to make memories for the old you.” I told him.

“I will have to think about it.” He responded.

I got my phone, without even asking him I took a quick selfie.

“Hey!” He called out to me, one hand covering his face. “Who does that?” He asked me.

“You look handsome.” I told him.

“It’s not about that, Someone needs to be prepared for a photo.” Chileshe nagged.

“What’s the fun in that? You can’t always be comfortable you know… You stop growing.” I told him.

@@ @@ CHILESHE @@ @@

I had no idea how the conversation changed from graduation to motivation. But my Lord, your daughter had a way with words. Maybe it was her cute face, maybe the voice – but whatever it was, hearing Matimba encourage me made me feel like I could take over anything.

“The moment you become comfortable, disturb the water again. Challenges grand us experience. So how will you be experienced if you are not being challenged?” She smiled once she had concluded on her words.

Those words I could relate with, it was like the way I felt working at M&B. I no longer had anything to look forward to other than getting paid hehe. But that was it.

We had just finished eating and were now heading to the station. I was kind of surprised that Matimba was using public transportation since all her friends had cars.

“Still afraid of driving?” I asked her as we walked.

“Nah. Just wanted to have a different taste of life. I will start driving soon.” She smiled. She had her music system around her neck, I could hear some music playing though I didn’t get the meaning of playing music when you talking to someone.

“Is that Alicia Keys?” I asked her. I had just recognised the tune of the song, how could I not get it sooner – ‘No One’ was a hit back in the day when it just came out. Everyone was listening to it, I mean – every lady had the lyrics of the song engraved in some little book that was carefully decorated.

“Yes she is…” Matimba responded with a smile.

“Wow, I didn’t know that people still listen to old classics like that one.” I commented.

“This was the real stuff. RnB was everything, these were our dedications back in the day.” She said proudly. The confidence she gave off sent me laughing.

“Why you laughing? Are you telling me you never had dedication coming your way?” She stood and looked at me, she had slightly leaned back, more like the way the president of Zambia did when greeting people.

“Stop looking at me funny. I did get dedications, I use to rock to ‘No Air’ on my mini MP3 Player.” I stood her.

“Mmmh Someone was quite the romantic.” She covered her face. She then got her headsets and placed them on me, “Listen…” She said.

I tried to say no but she was already ahead of me, she just shushed me and told me to listen. It was the same Alicia Keys song… The words were as simple as they could be but yet so profound and touching to the soul.

I just want you close /

Where you can stay forever /

You can be sure /

That it will only get better /

“Close your eyes, don’t open them yet.” She said excitedly. The two of us were like a young teenage couple that had just fallen in love after…, you know, the love at first site kind of experience.

“This is deep.” I said as I took them off.

“Yep! I know it’s deep – am deep like that.” She giggled as she placed them back on her neck.

For once, I didn’t feel like I had to live up to her expectations, I was no longer assuming the kind of man who was worthy to sweep her off her feet. At ease is where I was in that moment.

@@ @@ MATIMBA @@ @@

Finally I was able to see the smile on his face. Chileshe had warned up to my presence, it was like I had finally met the man I once had long chats with on Messenger for the first time.

“Hey! Can I ask you something? It’s off topic, maybe even a trinket.” I giggled.

“Please, feel free to ask.” Chileshe responded.

We had reached the station, there was already a bus there.

‘Chelstone – Avondale sister!’ The conductor called out to us.

Chileshe swiftly responded by shaking his head in a negative way – that meant we weren’t going despite stopping at the station.

“You said you have a question to ask.” He said.

“Oh! Yeah. It’s okay.” I cleared my throat. Thinking about it twice I felt embarrassed to go on with what had crossed my mind. ‘Get yourself together Matimba!’ the voices in my head yelled.

“Are you sure about that?” He added as he moved just a bit closer to me.

From where he stood, the scent of his clothes just touched me in a way that words cannot express. I loved every bit of it, for the next minute my mind wondered off. Thinking of how it would be if I was holding him tight in my arms – even just for a second.

Two more buses came through and we just stood there not doing anything other than just looking at each other. ‘Is this love?’ My subconscious asked me. If only I knew what was real and what wasn’t.

 

To be continued…