IS THIS LOVE Episode – 2

IS THIS LOVE – Episode 2

A story by Kennedy C Katongo

 

WHAT THE HEART WANTS

“Love is blind.” I said passively.

“Only fools say that and you ain’t one of them.” She responded carelessly. As if it was an automated reflex.

CHILESHE

“I didn’t think I was going to find you in town. Didn’t you knock off early because you wanted to meet with Matimba?” Mwenda asked me. I was at East Gate about to enter Chicken Inn when he showed up.

“That was the plan.” I smiled.

“Okay… So what happened? Where is she?” He asked me.

“Her dad picked her up. She had some things to finish at work. Enough about that, what are you doing here?” I asked him.

I knew Mwenda wasn’t foolish, he was going to figure out something wasn’t adding up. After all, I left work early with an excuse of having to meet Matimba but ended up walking passed three bus station before I got on a bus heading into town.

“I came to Mobile City. These guys sold me a fake memory card. Can you believe it?” He asked me.

“Well, that’s the risk of cheap stuff. It’s a 50/50 gamble.” I told him as we both made a corner for Chicken Inn. I made the order, it was the usual, Chicken with fries. Hungry Lion was ever packed – so I decided to find another eating place to ki*ll the depression, after all, Matimba always hated the idea of me using my own money for transport. She handed me a K50.

“So tell me. Who did you go to see this time around?” Mwenda asked me as I took my sit.

“What sort of question is that? I told you I was with Matimba – she was pissed and then her father came to pick her up.” I said as I rushed through words.

Mwenda kept looking at me with his eyebrows raised, that expression was followed by an annoying sound he made with his tongue.

“Okay! Okay!” “She was pissed because I was late again.”

“You left work an hour early. How come you were late? Again!” He asked me.

“I didn’t go anywhere. I just delayed starting off that’s all. You don’t know how it’s like to be in a relationship with a woman who is so perfect. It’s pressure man.” I told him.

“You talking like you dating an average lady like some of us, ask me, all my girlfriend does is ask for talk time and money to do her hair. Do you know that she buys more airtime in a week than I do in a month? Not only that, am not even the one she calls. And here you are, a good woman by your side and you acting funny.” Mwenda shook his head as he spoke.

“It’s not that. I won’t deny that Matimba has been there for me… I want to be there for her as well. It’s just that at times I feel like she expects to much from me. And am not the kind of guy who can give her what she wants.” I told him. I didn’t know how to explain how I felt properly to him.

The truth of the matter was, I felt caged. I wouldn’t deny that she gave up so much just to make sure I did well, she paid tuition fees for my last year in college. When the recruitment for government went on and I wasn’t picked, she went ahead and spoke to one of her friends and eventually landed me the job I had at Open Words Secondary School.

I wouldn’t take that any more. I was the one who needed to do all those things. Instead, she was the one acting like the man in the relationship and I was just there watching.

“What are you thinking about?”

“It’s nothing. I need to be in a relationship with someone younger than me.” I said boldly.

“But Matimba is younger than you… So what are you talking about?” Mwenda commented.

“I know. I want to date someone who is 5 years younger than me. Even 10 years is acceptable. I need to be the man in a relationship, I need to be calling the shots.” I told him.

“You making it sound like you a slave nigga. Stop tripping. Matimba loves you, she just wants you to be the best man you can be. Do you know how many guys would ki*ll to have such a lady in their lives? A lot. Yet, here you are talking about dating some girl from kindergarten. You need Jesus.” Mwenda said with a mad face. He wasted no time, immediately the food was brought he began eating.

If only there was a way I would make him see what I was considering. Matimba was done with everything, the only thing on her ‘to do list’ was probably getting married. That wasn’t even on my list. I had mum and my siblings to think about… Everyone was looking up to me. How on earth was I going to handle all that. I looked at my piece of chicken after one bite, it didn’t taste as good as Hungry Lion, but hey, it was chicken.

“Listen bro. I think you need to stop thinking to much. It’s not like Matimba doesn’t know about your life, she accepted you just the way you are… That must count for something.” Mwenda spoke up once again with a hand full of fries.

“Do you know that I’ve never bought a gift for her? Do you have an idea just how much her earrings cost? I wouldn’t afford them even if I wanted. I need to be able to spoil a girl.”

MATIMBA 

“I don’t get it. You are the one who is always siding with Chileshe and today here you are asking me to consider another man?”

“Chileshe is a good guy. His funny, his caring. I get that. But we want partners who can help us move files, partners who are aggressive when it comes to how they handle life. And to say the truth, Chileshe isn’t that type of partner.” Lister said to me.

“You now sounding like my father.” I pinched her.

“At least one of us does.” She responded with a laugh.

I didn’t want to admit it. Even I had noticed that Chileshe failed to control me when ever we got into an argument. He lacked the authority, the voice of being a man in our relationship.

Maybe him being late constantly was a way of backing off.

“I need to go.” Lister said as she got up in a hurry.

“What’s with the adrenaline? Where you going?” I asked her.

“I forgot that am supposed to meet Babe at his place. I promised to cook some Lumanda for him.” She said in a rush.

“But…” “What about me? What am I supposed to do now?” I asked her as I also got up.

“Go home.” She exclaimed and left.

I sat down and got my phone to check if Chileshe had texted me, but there was nothing. I sat in the corner of the coffee shop reading through news feed on Facebook, the happy faces, the weddings and couples that I kept seeing. I wished for such a thing, but I couldn’t have it, the more I thought about my future – the lesser I saw Chileshe being a part of it.

Opposite were I was, a couple of colour sat there. The man was black, the lady was white with blonde hair. I silently observed and noticed how they spoke, the way they looked at each other. That was the type of relationship I wanted, full of chemistry and romance.

“Excuse me!” A man’s voice echoed sharply in my ears. I opened my eyes and it was the waiter.

“Hi” I called out.

“You seem disturbed. Is everything okay?” He asked me.

“Aaah… Am okay. But thank you for asking. Can I have some coffee?” I asked him while flipping my cup to show him there was nothing in it.

The couple I was observing had already left. I checked my phone and still – there was no message from Chileshe.

 

To be continued…