The Changing Tides – Episode 5

The Changing Tides – Episode 5

A Story By Tisa Phiri

“My dreams are shattered and my hopes of being happy ever again have been haunted with so much pain I can hardly see beyond my nose.

God has abandoned me to the evil one, how is it that I have to go through one pain after the other, I am just Human and I too make mistakes. How is it that mine always have the harshest consequences?

I have prayed and asked God to forgive me for my mistakes and my sins, I have pleaded with him to at least forgive even the sins of my parents so that I can be set free from these toils of life and find joy and peace again.

But look at me now, just when I got to find something for my life, here I am back to square one, now with this child on the way how am I going to survive this, my friend?” Maria cried, her face wet with tears as Doro watched her silently.

2 months after she was with Paul she Had discovered she missed her periods and she knew definately even from the changes she was feeling in her body that she was not the same.

She recalled the day after she allowed Paul to be with her that she woke up early and cleaned the house. It was the day the family was returning From Kitwe and she had to make sure things were in order.

“Good morning Maria”, Paul had greeted her that morning as she just finished cleaning.

“Good morning” she answered without looking at him. She was so embarrassed she felt like going down the ground below her. .

“Maria am sorry for last night ” Paul started stopping her from walking away as she avoided his gaze.

“I was so drunk but that’s no excuse. The last thing I ever wanted was to hurt you Maria no wonder I kept to myself. I care so much for you and I swear I always want what’s best for you. I know you are still young and got a long road ahead of you in this life. Please forgive me” he begged making her to face him.

Maria’s face was covered in tears as Paul talked. Her pain wasn’t the fact that Paul was wrong but that she had allowed him to do whatever he did to her and now she felt guilty.

First of all she felt she had betrayed the trust of Margaret and her family who had done nothing but care for her. She knew Paul had a girlfriend cause she saw her come visiting sometimes. And most of all, Maria couldn’t help the feeling that something was terrribly wrong. That strong feeling something different was coming was so much in her mind that she couldn’t help feel sad.

She looked at Paul’s eyes and for some reason she could feel he was being honesty.

“Please stop crying Maria, am so so sorry please forgive me.” He continued..

“It’s okey uncle Paul, it’s not entirely your fault, I was very much sobber and if I wanted to I could have stopped you. I was stronger than you.” She’s said tears running down her face.

“Am here for you Maria, I promise I won’t do anything to hurt you again. I want you to stay focused and go through your secondary school” Paul told her.

That day when everyone was back home Maria wasn’t herself. Guilty and shame was all over her and she felt like everyone could see through her.

Days passed and Maria become more depressed, she couldn’t get rid of the strange feelings in her body and she had realised she missed her pees in two months.

She went to the clinic secretly and got tasted for pregnancy . When the test came out postive Maria was devasted. She cried all her way back to the house and even when she met Jake who was excited and told her she had made it to grade 10, all Maria could do was cry .

“Maria, you have passed and instead of being happy you are crying?” Jake asked concerned.

” Tell me, are you really okey? ”

“I am,” Maria sniffed wipping her tears. “Am just so excited I made it ” she lied with a fake smile.

To congratulate her Margret offered to buy her school items for her new grade.

Maria sat in her room feeling exhausted and depressed. She saw how happy everyone was including Paul.

She was lost in thoughts when Paul walked in her room.

“Maria, I came to talk to you. I know we were wrong to do what we did but the way you have taken this matter is worrying me. Why won’t you forget what happened and be happy. I can’t stand seeing you so sad lately. Tell me what I can do to help you please” Paul begged trying to hold her hand and she shoved him away.

“Leave me alone Paul,” she responded her head bent down.

He insisted he wouldn’t leave until she told him what was wrong.

Maria was almost opening up to him when Josh called Paul,

” uncle Paul, your madam is here!” he shouted.

Paul figited, He knew someday he had to let his old girlfriend go but he had not yet figured out a way to tell her. Even when he avoided calling or seeing her, Tasha always came to their house to see him. Somehow he noticed how it was hurting Maria but how was he going to solve the issue when he couldn’t get to tell his sister he was in love with Maria. Everyone knew Tasha was his girlfriend.

“Go on!” Maria cut her sentence short when she had almost revealed she was preganant.

“No she can wait, tell me what is wrong first” Paul insisted.

Maria looked at him. How was she going to break a relationship that everyone was aware of. She was just a maid and she knew revealing the fact of her pregancy would change everything.

“Please just go I will tell you later” Maria insisted and Paul stood to go his heart reaching out to her. He walked to the sitting room where his girlfriend greeted him cheerfully but his mind was with Maria. Something is wrong and he had to find out and help her.

Maria looked at the room for the last time. It had been her comfort room for the last 3 years and now she had to go.

Her courage to face the family with the issue of her pregancy and later on revealing who the father was was completely gone.

She packed all her things and the money she had saved up. When every one was talking and laughing from the sitting room, Maria sneaked out using the kitchen door and left. After she had dropped a piece of paper in Margret and Paul’s bedroom.

Doro was silent as Maria narrated her odeal. Maria had called her and asked to stay with her for that one night as she could not find any other place to go to.

“Maria I still think you should have told him the truth. The family am sure could have come to terms with your condition, they sound like good people to me and am sure they could have helped you out.” Doro remarked

“I can’t do that Doro. I can’t just betray them after everything they did for me.

Paul has a girl for crying out loud. How do I just break them apart because of my stupidity? No I cannot”

“Okay, tell me one thing Maria, do you love Paul?” Doro asked her.

Maria raised her eyes and looked at her friend.

“i dont know my dear, i like being around him. I felt good when he touched me. When he talks I feel like I can listen to him forever, I don’t know what love is but all I know is I miss him when he goes for work, I feel jealousy when I see that Tasha his girlfriend. But I cant say i love him because that I don’t even know what it means.” Maria lamented with a laugh.

“He’s the only man I have ever known even though it hurts me so much, I know he cannot be mine. I dont belong to his class and he’s in love with someone else. ” she wiped a tear falling from her eye.

“Oh Maria, you are something my friend. If I were you I wouldn’t sacrifice my life and that of my child for anyone. Just look at you. You look pale and depressed that money you have won’t take you and the baby anywhere, how are you even going to work with a pregnancy? ” Doro pointed out..

“I don’t know Doro.I don’t know, I have to find a way otherwise am never going back to that house. I just can’t my dear.

I just hope this time around God will help me so that this baby here will not have to go through what I have gone through in this cruel life,” she cried.

“Wipe your tears Maria and be strong, there’s tomorrow, just rest over there,” Doro said pointing at her small bed.

“Am going for my business now am late,” she added standing up. She had dressed up in her short skirt and sleeveless top that exposed part of her breasts.

“I have to find at least some good customers since this is month end ” she added.

Maria Lay down and watched her friend leave. She shook her head.

” My God, I hope I won’t have to end up like her” she cried.

“Somehow I have to find a way for my baby.”

To be continued

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