Opana - The Coffin Maker

Opana – Episode 56

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Opana – Episode 56

© Akoto Alexander

On phone:

Opana: My son how are you? Things had to change with our travelling to the city, we were called very early for us to set off from the village to the city. I was told there were some documents I had to sign before your sister and mum can be permitted to join the plane and since it was too early I didn’t want to disturb your sleep my son.

Michael : Am very fine papa, you should have at least called me, the matter as at now concerns my little sister and I must be bothered just like you. If I were to be with you back in the village, I will be the one to make all that rounds for you to rest. You know you have been stressing yourself too much lately. Well its okay papa so what is the new thing onboard now? Have you been able to do everything now?

Opana: Oh yes my son, by the special grace of God everything was taken care of and as am talking to you now, your sister and mum are in the air right now.

Michael : Oh that is good news, so where are you now papa? I want to come and meet you, I have missed you so so much.

Opana: I have missed you too my son but unfortunately I have to rush back home to the village, I had a call on my way to the city that the rich man in our next village needs a customised coffin for his mother and talking to you right now he is waiting for me at my shop. Secondly the car which brought us to the city is needed back at the village hospital so I am taking advantage on that to rush back home. Am sorry I couldn’t check up on you and your friend who is having you at his end.

Michael : Its okay papa, I know what you can do and if you had your way I know very well that you will come and look for me anywhere I was here in Accra, am happy that your aim of coming over to the city has been accomplished and hearing my sister and mom are in the plane now gladens my heart. I have this strong believe that mom and Bernice will come back to us with a very broad smile on their faces. Thank you very much papa for everything you have been doing for us, I promise to make you enjoy the fruits of your labour.

Opana: Make it fast my son because time waits for no man, whatever you have in mind that you know will catapult you to your dream or heart desire don’t hesitate to make that move because procrastination has always been a thief of time and time lost can never be regained. Set a target for yourself and make sure you hit the bulls eye when taking your shot and bear in mind that your friend will wish you pack out some time to come because he will like to start raising his family and your presence there will be a nuisance to him and the lady he will be with. A word should be enough for the wise my son.

Michael : Advice well received papa, you will hear from me soon of my great works and exploits. The crab never gives birth to the bird, you will applaud me when you start seeing the great potentials planted inside me papa. All I need from you is your blessings.

Opana: You have my blessings already my son and I throw my full support to any good thing you wish or dream of doing my son. Go out there all out and make money positively. I know you are a smart guy and you will excel in every avenue you find yourself but also remember your weakness my boy.

Michael : Weakness? Papa can you please throw more light on that very adjective for me because am lost over here.

Opana: My son from our great great great great grandfather Adam, our weakness has always been women and as my late father use to say “fear women and live long on earth”. Let me leave you to continue with what you were doing and say me well to you friend for me. Please let him know the reason why I couldn’t pass by to check up on you guys. May God be with you and bless everything you do my son.

Michael : Thanks very much papa, have a very safe and sound journey back home. Please notify me when you get home safely.

Opana: I will do that my son. Have a blissful day and enjoy the rest of the day (call ends)

At the Boss Mansion:

Albert: Good morning daddy.

Boss: Good morning my son, how are you doing and I hope you slept well last night?

Albert: Daddy am not fine, talking to you my head aches and I couldn’t sleep all through out the night.

Boss: Hey what has been eating you up my son, you look really disturbed. Talk to me my son, you know what bothers you equally bothers me and a problem shared is a problem solved.

Albert: Daddy it’s about what that fool did to me, daddy all my life no one apart from you had the right to even point his finger at me and not to talk about raising his hand on me daddy. I want to search and fish out that b****** from wherever he is hiding and deal with him ruthlessly, rigidly and without compassion daddy. I want him to beg for mercy and kiss my feet before I either kill him or paralyze him, daddy what I want to do to him is beyond what my mouth can express and if care is not taken, I will let him feast on his on toilet.

Boss: Enough my son, where are you manners? You saw very well that am eating and you are mentioning this disgusting thing to me, do you want me to lose my appetite this beautiful morning?

Albert: Am very sorry for that unhealthy word I used father, am just carried away with bitterness and anger so I lost control of myself and speech.

Boss: Son I want you to know that am solidly behind you in any action you want to take but one thing I want you to bear in mind is that, control your mouth and temper when you are angry because anything you say that moment is fragile and also very true. If you can’t control your anger publicly your enemies will always attack you in public so you lose your balance which can cause you to lose a relevant case that you have in your hands. The bible says in Proverbs that go to the ant and learn from its ways, in other words, learn from the way your father the swagon papa does his things.

Albert: Certainly daddy, you know our elders say the crab never gives birth to the bird. Am your heir and am going to take after you in a way that will marvel you.

Quincy’s Room:

Quincy: Jack didn’t you go to the airport any longer this morning?

Michael : To do what Charlie, those I was supposed to meet at the airport before they board the plane are already in the air.

Quincy: Ah what do you mean bro?

Michael : I mean there was a change of time and plan so they had to leave even before the scheduled time for their flight.

Quincy: That too wasn’t a bad idea though, the important thing is that they have been air lifted and on their way to the promise land. As the saying goes, God bless the United States of America, the day I will get a visa to that country erh, I will make sure I go with the morning flight so I won’t miss anything in the sky or on the ground. Do you remember during our childhood days there were this lies about plane stations and filling stations in the sky, I remember one female classmate of mine in class 3 once told me that his father forgot the teddy bear and other toys he bought for her when travelling back to Ghana so when they got to the plane station in the sky the father got down from the plane and run home to get the said things.

Michael : Hahahaha and you also fell for it?

Quincy: Ah what was I suppose to do my brother, see by then in my family the only person who had travelled outside Ghana went to Nigeria and even with that, am told he went by foot from Tema to Aflao before boarding a bus at the Togo boarder.

Michael : Charlie poverty is a disease and something we don’t even have to wish for our enemies.

Quincy: Well said my brother and if you were to see how this girl use to flex us in class erh. Whiles some of us were using black rubber bags, this girl was changing bags every two or three days and for shoes she never repeated a shoe in that same week. Some of us went to school with a bathroom bluebird slippers and a thorn school shorts with our pants showing but what do we care about in recent times. You see boys wearing socks and slippers but they were the same people who were not wearing socks at all when the were back at the secondary school.

Michael : Are you surprised? Life has it’s own mystery and it unravels itself when it deems fit, let’s start the day my brother with something positive. Today I would like us to step out with this new gadgets we have in our possession and start hitting the ground very well, we need to get a brand name, register it at Registrar Department, get a social media platform then start to build our clients, customers or fanbase. We have to take shots of natural things like animals, the sea, waterfalls, forest reserve, the sky, ancient buildings and of course beautiful girls. This things will bring out the attention we need from this people.

Quincy: Charlie you have said my mind ooo, if there is any moment we could do anything, as you rightly said this is that time. I have in mind some places we can get nice shots when the Sun is about to set and also I can get my kid sister to get me some of her mates at the university so we start doing photo shoot for them for free from the start. I know they will be the people to fetch us our customers and clients and with them we will take the shots on the road infront of the house when it around 6pm.

Michael : Oboy it looks like you have already drawn a master plan already ooo, you have got everything figured out already.

Qunicy: Jack financial difficulty brought a great standstill and setback to us so now that we have gotten this sophisticated machines, we need to fire with all cylinders from all angles. I just remembered I have this cousin who works at the Registrar Department, I will call him and get much information on the things we will need to get our firm registered. We have arrived and the world must hear of our arrival, we won’t leave any stone unturned.

Michael : Guy it seems you have taken a very heavy burden from me, see I didn’t sleep the whole of last night. I was thinking about how I could get the things you mentioned to live, you know I don’t know much people around here and also don’t have connections but with your presentation I feel we are three steps ahead of what I was thinking. Indeed two heads will always be better than one, we will take our own distiny into our own hands and mode it to the way that God’s blessings will locate us very fast. Let’s find something to eat then after that we step out to try our latest machines, Julia may God surprise you with something bigger than your backside.

Quincy: Ahaa, Jack you just remembered me of something, how did it go last night when you went to meet her at her hotel.

Michael : Hmmmmmm that one, bro I met her in her expensive hotel she is lodging and I must confess I weeped inside me, bro if you see the things I saw out there you will open your mouth for someone to use a forklift to close it, for once I unstood guys who went in for money rituals. If you don’t have enough money you will say rice doesn’t satisfy the stomach, as I got there everything was going on fine and infact it was very smooth, we were chatting and having fun then one thing led to another and another thing to another.

Quincy: (raising his hands into the air and giving Mike fans) Chairman General, the slow but sure killer, romantic angel, the lone ranger who never misses his shot. Charlie blow me more and please give me a vivid account of the things that happened there because I want to watch the scenario in my head like a movie, I am happy for you more than anything so tell me did you do it with her?

Michael : Herh are you alright, let me finish telling you what happened and stop cutting in when am talking. The game is been brought to your house and you are rushing to meet it outside so you injure yourself.

Quincy: Am sorry sir, my ears were doing me tinn-tinn-tinn, am too eager to hear what happened. Herh you erh you be champion and you are the game controller, abeg continue talking for I am all ears my boss.

Michael : Jack I swear if you open your mouth again to interrupt me, I won’t continue again with my narration. As I was saying before you rudely interrupted, we were having a very quality time talking then we graduated to kissing and smooching. We even took a romantic bath together and as we were done and were about to start the master game some foolish idiot came to spoil everything.

Quincy: Oooooh how and why? Who was he or she and where did he or she come from? What was his or her mission or reason to come and destory or distract what you guys were doing by then? Herh when they say the devil he is not in hell or anywhere oooo, he is right in our amidst.

Michael : Mr WAEC, which of your questions should I answer first my lord? Eeeeiiiii your ears dey sweet you pass something.

Quincy: Answer from any part my boss and for my ears they love to hear good stories like what you are saying but my down there “dey sweet me pass anywhere on my body”. Please carry on for me my director of women affairs.

Michael : Nonsense!!! As I said we were about to do the thing then I heard this loud knock on her door, I asked if she was expecting anyone but she said no. I went to check who was at the door and standing there was this heavily built guy, he pushed me aside and entered the room.

Quincy: Jesus Christ the son of Mary and the holy spirit, guy don’t tell me that was her boyfriend because it would have spelt doom for you, the guy could easily board a flight for you to hell right away.

Michael : Mmmm you think I will be back to this place in one whole piece if that fearful looking guy was her guy? I would by now be in a wheelchair whiles you push me around to solicite for help financially.

Quincy: Lol by now like your young life would be battling with God to send down a miracle. So what happened next?

Michael : You see I told you that you rush a lot, apparently that fearful looking guy happened to be the bodyguard of Julia’s boss.

Quincy: Ah so what was he looking for that made him cut the pleasure you people were having short? This guy paa is an embodiment of bad luck and disappointment. I am just imagining the power that had been channelled into your bloodstream by then.

Michael : Hmmmm say that again, that fool came to summon Julia for an emergency meeting that was been held at the hotel’s conference room.

Quincy: Oh abi all was not over yet since she was not going so far from you. With this I know you could wait patiently for her to return after the emergency meeting. My guy paa you have knocked down the barring already and you are here making me feel pity for you like your libido was cut short by that fool. The best is always saved for the last you know?

Michael : See what you are saying over there, which man on earth thinks straight when his manhood is erected. I challenged that idiot for barging into the room just like that and he got pissed off because I challenged him, he threatened to beat me like his child if I didn’t shut up, you know I can’t keep mute like that infront of a lady so I also dared him to a fight where my mouth was louder than him even but this fool didn’t even look bothered with my threats and he promised to deal with me later.

Quincy: Jack you did the right thing my brother, was he thinking he could intimidate you with his stature? Hell no!!! You were just luck also that he didn’t put his anger in action like by now your legs and hands might be hanging in a hospital bed. That guy really disturbed your feeling then, seeing Cannan and not been allowed to step there by some fool, am imagining how Moses felt after he was disallowed to step his feet in Cannan, but if it was me paa like the way I will curse God in my head, He will reconsider His decision.

Michael : As if that wasn’t enough, my conscience started battling me when Julia left for the meeting so I quickly dressed and rushed out of the room because that fool could come back for me since because Julia was around he didn’t excute his plans or anger on me. You know what our elders say “he who fights and runs away lives to fight another day” and taking precautional measures in life is not cowardry.

Quincy: Well you have a very big point here my brother. Am glad you came back in one piece, now let’s step out and try something with the machines we have in our possession. I will take the right wing and for you to take the left, we will compare and contrast later when we come back with the pictures we took.

Michael : Well said my brother, that was the same thing I was thinking about so I will be back after 3hours of stepping out and I will go with the drone also to check how effective it is.

Quincy: No problem with that bro, but hey how would you sort out things with Julia, am believing she would be very angry with you for the French leave you took last night, she is our winning coupon so please by mindful on how you treat or deal with her. Losing her now would be a big blow for us as we are going to enjoy and get good benefits from her.

Michael : Counsellor Quincy the opportunist, have you finished solving your issues? If she will be angry with me for putting my own life out of harms way then she can go to hell. She hasn’t gotten any local line so I will talk to her when she calls me later, but for that hotel I swear I will never accept any invite from her if she calls or invites me there. My father will say that “the tree that will enter your eye, we uproot it but don’t cut it short”, massa let’s get to work and converge here in 3hours time.

Quincy and Mike steps out of the house to get their assessment on their new gadgets. They take different directions and promised to come back with creative pictures.

Opana’s Workshop:

Opana: (thanks the taxi driver who brought him to the shop) Hey where are the customers who have been waiting for me?

5th Apprentice: Master good afternoon, since I came to the shop I havent seen any one here.

Opana: What do you mean my friend, I have been communicating with a certain man who has been waiting for me here since morning and you are here blabbing nonsense into my ears. Where is the senior most apprentice?

5th Apprentice: Master please I haven’t seen him around?

Opana: Ah what sort of bulls*** is this, everything I ask you your answer is negative so which question would I ask you for you to give me a postive answer? Now you over there, come here. Since yesterday that I gave you an assignment to sandpaper that coffin you are still at the cover, how many days are you going to use in finishing a small job that should take you only some few hours to do. Ah so if I was so lazy like can I get this far with my work? I have been communicating with a certain man who has been waiting for me here in the shop to transact business with me since morninf, where is he and where is your senior?

10th Apprentice: Master you mean the nice man who was sitting on this very bench, he left this place about 25minutes ago to check on something, he said he will be back very soon and for senior he is asleep in one of the coffins over there.

Opana: Ah this youngman koraa, what is wrong with him? So can’t he ever manage this place to my satisfaction anytime I leave this place for him, is that how he is going to run his workshop when he opens one in the future? Call him for me right now.

10th Apprentice: Okay master and please a young woman came to ask of you earlier on also.

Opana: Young woman? Did she leave any information behind or the reason why she was looking for me?

10th Apprentice: Boss please when I asked her she said her purpose for coming here is personal and that she will call you.

Opana: Really? Can you describe her for me then?

10th Apprentice: Master she is not to fair, she has water melon size of breast and big buttocks. She has……

Opana: (cuts in) Is okay youngman, just go and call your stupid senior for me. The way you are describing that woman alone, I will rather wait for her call as you claim and for you, how come you didn’t see the man who came to wait for me and was sitting there as your junior said.

5th Apprentince: Mmmm I guess I was behind the shop that is why I didn’t see him.

Opana: You see your miserable life? A liar has no memory and if you countine lying this way, you won’t go far in your life. I know you are a habitual latecomer to work and I know very well that you came to work very late today.

5th Apprentice: Master I swear by my two front teeth that am not lying. I can’t lie to the man showing me a craft which I will depend upon in the future, please believe me master.

10th Apprentice: Master please he said he is coming.

Opana: Hmmm, you what time did your senior here come to work today? Before you answer let me throw a caution to you that, if you try telling me a lie to cover him up and I find out you are lying, you will equally face the punishment meant for him so before you open your mouth, thinking carefully before you talk.

10th Apprentice: (scratches his head before talking) Master please can you please throw this question to someone else in this shop?

Opana: Unfortunately for you youngman, I can’t do that so answer me before I slap you this very minute.

10th Apprentice: Mmmm he came to work about 15minutes ago before you came in boss.

5th Apprentice: Herh why are you lying you stupid fool, if master sacks me or punishes me erh, only God knows what I will do to you.

Opana: You won’t do anything to him you cheap liar, you just dug you own grave. I am suspending you indefinitely, when you get home tell your sick father why I sent you home this early and tell him not to bother himself by coming over or sending people to plead on your behave because I have had enough of you. Now leave my shop and if I see you about 50meters to this place even, I will order for your immidiate arrest and mark my words on that.

5th Apprentice: Master I beg you in the name of God to forgive me, this won’t happen again and I promise you for that master.

Opana: Youngman get the hell out of my face before I descend heavily on you, did you know God when you were swearing with your two front teeths? Now everybody here listen and listen very good, I have taken a very new decision in this workplace of mine that I will tabulate it and paste it on the notice body, you either adapt to the system or you perish. This fool here has been suspended indefinitely and if I see anyone entertaining him here or anywhere close to this shop, that person will also follow him and I want you all to believe that.

5th Apprentice: You this stupid guy you are a very big fool, why couldn’t you defend me when master asked you the question. You will see the other side of me when we meet outside.

Opana: Hey don’t let him intimidate you with words, looking at your muscles and stature if you let a short man like him scare you then it’s up to you. He has been suspended and hence you are not bound or obliged to succumb to any of his orders or demand, if he foolishly attacks you, fight him back with anything you have got. Do I make myself clear?

10th Apprentice: Master I hear you loud and clear.

Opana: (starts to gnash his teeth when he sees the senior apprentice coming) God so is that how Joseph the forster father of Jesus gave his master trouble when he was an apprentice? God you know I was not a trouble maker during my apprenticeship days so why have you given me problems in the form of apprentices? Please tell me where I went wrong…….

To be continued

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