Lumbiwe – Episode 12
© Tisa Phiri
Just as darkness covered my mind. I started chocking and coughing, wondering whether i was in the after life. I felt someone call my name shaking me.
” Lumbiwe open your eyes!” he shouted
I tried to speak as my eyes opened weakly. Seeing blurred images of Tendeka looking at me.
” what are you doing to yourself?” he asked wipping my face.
” please wake up” he shook me his voice panicking.
“Tendeka?” I stammered ” what are you doing here?” I finally managed to ask?
“That`s what i want to know!” he snapped.
“why would you think of killing yourself like this. If i hadnt gotten here on time you could have died.”
Coming back to reality, i started crying.
” what happened Lumbi ? please tell me” he asked with concern.
“whatever it is cannot be enough reason to hang yourself to death. Wasted water does not make flowers grow. It’s better to fetch fresh water and water your flower to make it grow, you cannot throw away your life like its nothing Lumbiwe please come on.”
His hand went through my long hair as he placed my head on his legs whilst kneeling. The other hand supporting my back with a strong hold.
I cried loudly sitting up. feeling so much ashamed of myself. After i calm down he asked again.
“please trust me and let me help you. what is it that hurt you so much you want to die Lumbi? ”
“i am so ashamed of my self Tendeka” i cried,
,”am not worthy of living any more. a
Am so wasted i cannot find another way through this.”
“Tell me what hurt you” he whispered.
I narrated the whole story about Mani,
“so you see Tendeka, i dont want to live anymore. I cannot live to disgrace my family. how am i even going to live in this village and walk in the paths with all this shame i have brought upon myself…? i cant” i shook my head crying.
“Why did you have to interfere and save me Tendeka i wanted to die you had no right to interfere. why didnt you let me die?”
“Dont you say that Lumbi” he responded wiping my tears.
“how would i let you die when all i can think of is you. I love you even if you have always treated me like a nobody and never loved me back. how can i let you die, when all i want to do in my life is hold you and comfort you, to carry your burdens and make you smile. Tell me how i would let you die when i still loved you even after seeing you in the hands of another man? I cannot Lumbi because for me you have always been my star, my precious one.”
I looked at him express himself and guilty and shame pricked my very soul causing me so much pain. I couldnt raise my face to see his, i cried tears dropping from my eyes like water. I was so foolish and cruel too, i hurt the person that had always cared for me.
“You are a good man Tendeka ” i told him
” and you deserve a good woman, sorry that i made you feel that way. but its best you leave me now i cant even look at your face, go on” i added
” find your self a good and decent woman thats what you deserve.”
He pulled me back to himself laying my head on his laps close enough i could feel his heart beat.
“I cannot leave you especially like this, everytime i see a rainbow it reminds me of you, how do you expect me to leave you when you need me the most? The light sometimes comes through the clouds and this is a pasing cloud, you will have to stand again. ” he spoke with so much calmness.
“How possible is it that you can tell me all this after what i did to you and what i am now? Tendeka please dont do this, go home now.”
” am not leaving you to kill yourself” he replied,
” dont you get it? i still love you Lumbi and i still want you for myself.”
I smiled painfully at how serious he seemed.
“You dont understand Tendeka” i sat up, am pregnant right now with another man`s child, its over, there`s no mending my life now.” He shook his head,
“That idiot doesnt deserve you Lumbi, he can be educated for all i care but his brain is empty. Now, listen to me” he continued.
“am going to stand with you until you give birth to this child.”
I looked at him unbelieving what he was just saying.
” yes ” he nodded..
” tomorrow am coming to see your parents with my father and ask for your hand in marriage, before the pregnance starts showing. Am going to take care of you and the baby as if he was my own. Because i love you…”
“No” i stood shaking my head,
” Tendeka you cannot do that, its not fair, no, i wont destroy your life by putting this on you, am not ”
He held my hands,
“Lumbi i want to know one thing only, ”
“what? ” i asked looking at him.
” do you have any feelings for me? I mean, do you care for me even a little bit.?” he asked seriously.
“Hm, please it doesn`t matter now.”
” yes it does” he insisted.
“yes Tendeka, i like you, a lot actually. in fact, do you know what? i cried for you and thought of you as that man lay on top of me. Thoughts of you gave me comfort as i experienced pain my whole body,” i let a sad laugh tears running my face.
“i like you and thought of you more than i ever imagined i would” i smiled looking at him.
“thats it then ” he smiled back,
” accept my proposal and marry me, let me help you cover this shame and make you happy. Should that idiot show his face here.. I swear i will kill him and throw his body in the stream.” He snarled.
“I couldnt stop shaking my heard.
“please it hurts me am doing this to you, please stop.”
“No,” he responded firmly.
” what will kill me is seeing your body lowered to the ground. I cannot survive that Lumbi, i love you” he said hugging me as i cried in his strong arms, his pounding heart connecting to my broken heart, making me feel like i was going to burst with so much pain.
“thank you” i said at last hugging him back.
To be continued