The Prognosticator – Episode 1

© Adebayo Luqman Adekunle Pesman
Dam!!! I am tired of this situations, you won’t believe i had no girlfriend, seems that some witches from my village are still following me.
That is the reason why i hate our family house, witches were many there particularly “IYA ALAKARA” (Bean cake seller), I hate the woman with passion. Though she is older than my mummy, she is 63 years of age, i do calle her “parrot”
Chai! This woman can talk for 23hrs 59min
59sec without stop, i suspected “IYA
ALAKARA” is behind my problem
I can vividly remember one Monday
afternoon, i came back from school, i was in
jss2 then, my mummy wasn’t in the house
only GOD knows where she went, chai i am
feeling hungry o, i headed to the kitchen
to find something to eat, behold there is no
food for me to eat, opps this woman is
wicked oo, imagine she didn’t leave any
food behind for me to consume, my eyes
turned red.
I also checked food stuff in the house
maybe i can find garri to drink but there is
nothing like that in the house, i feel like
myself that moment, nothing can stop me
from fighting this woman today oo, what a
wicked mother? I curse inward! .
I was in trauma of hunger when i hearded
name calling from outside. (why is this witch
woman calling me? Yes you guessed right
Was the one iya alakara). I opened the
door,went outside to meet her. .
Iya alakara: oko mi jowo bamilo si ile boda
yekinni, sowipe moni ki o ran o simi,
(my husband please help me go to brother
yekini’s house, tell him i said he should send
you to me)
***This woman must be high on weed who
is your husband?***
Me: mama, mi oro wipe male bayin lo o, mo
sese ti ile iwe de ni, kosi iya mi Nile, miosi ti
jehun ebinpami, emabinu ma (Ma, i don’t
think i can help you go, i just came back
from school and my mummy is not around,
haven’t eat i’m feeling hungry, don’t be
annoyed ma)
Iya Alakara: Emi? Arifin nje ti moba ran baba
re nise ogbodo so wipe ohun kole lo,
anbeletase iwo? (Me? Insult! Even if i sent
your father on errand he dare say no?
Takless of you?)
***See as this witch woman is insulting my
father, what i hate most is someone
insulting my
parents, i can ki*ll myself because of them, i
love my parents guess you also love urs?
Me: Mama, laye laye yin ema menu ba awon
obi mi Mon o (Mama never in your life you
should mentioned my parents like that)
Iya Alakara: Ooda koburu (Ok, no problem)
I and Iya Alakara were still exchanging
words when “Kola” walked in on us
***Kola is grand child of Iya Alakara, he was
14years old then, while i was 13years old,
kola is older than me and so? I don’t think
he can beat me, but i was scared ***
Kola: how daa_rr_ee you talk to my mother
like thaatt?
*** Kola is a stammerer boy, that is the
why i hate talking to him, he can use 5min
to call father***
Me: hey! Mister stammerer ! Do you know……
*** But before i could finish my word i
heard Gbos! Gbos!! Gbos!!! I firstly thought
trailer jammed me, i begin to see double,
our house look like olumo rock to me, i
couldn’t see clearly. Kolawole slapped me
three times, i drew back with fury, i
pounced him with great energy my fits
hitted him by jaw, i saw blood coming out
of his
mouth. Me 1 vs 1 kola, kola drew closed to
me throw quick pouch on me, for where i
too smart for that, i James bond, i dogged it,
i quickly move close to him carry him up, i
lifted him above my head, o boi, i feel like
“WWE heavily weight champion” [DEAN
AMBROSE] That moment, in no time i
finished kola like a food, i felt ontop of the
Later in the evening, after dinner I just went
straight to my room, i couldn’t play PES that
night guess why? My eye is still disturbing
me ,
kola is wicked oo, i thought to myself, i
looked myself in the mirror “chai” i look like
horror my right cheek is bigger than left,
kola is a criminal oo
An hour later i slept off
—————————————– THE NEXT DAY
I was in the midst of
my friends we were playing suddenly one
#masquerade appear from nowhere, it look
like a woman but i couldn’t see his/her face
because i was scared, the masquerade
moved closed to us, that is when i can see it
clearly it was a woman and its no other
than Iya Alakara, she wasn’t covering her
face, she was holding kalabash with left
hand while holding dagger with right hand.
My heart was beating 1000km per secons,
moved closer to us and everyone of us ran
for our dear life ***who wants to die?***
we ran separate ways, i ran like one minute
and i decided to look back “mogbe” ( i’m
doomed ) iya alakara is still following me, i
increased my tempo even (Usain Bolt)
cannot compete with me in this kind of race,
i looked back again iya alakara is still
running after me but the distance is much.
Deep down in me, i was very happy in no
time iya alakara would not see me Again,
but my joy was cut short when iya alakarascreamed ontop of her voice ***Oya Suubu*** (Now fall down) i couldn’t believed iya alakara commanded me like a soldier, in no time i hit my toe on one small stone pauu! I fell for ground yakata. Before i knew it iya alakara catched up with me
Me: Mami, ejowo ema binu, mi oni se be mo ( My mother, please don’t be annoyed, i wouldn’t do such again)
Iya Alakara: Taa ni iya re? Loni maje komo bi mose to ( Who is your mother? I will let you know who i am today)
Me: Ejowo ma! Ejowo ma!! Ejowo ma!!! ( please ma! please ma!! please ma!!!)
***Iya alakara raised up her dagger to stab me, i screamed Aloud please! please!! please!!! And i woke up***

…to be continued


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