TEARS ON MY PILLOW – Episode 7
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I quickly finished cleaning the car..
I was feeling so mad at aunty, so much that when she called me to give her a glass of juice I for a sec thought of putting hot chilli in the juice. But then my conscious reminded me that i was a Christian and vegence belonged to God.
After kneeling and handing her the Glass I quickly slid into my slippers and headed out to go see my daughter without even saying bye.
At the farm I found Mrs Mwape seated outside on a rid mat Grace was besides her in a baby basket. They looked so cute together. I deeply wished I was the one besides my daughter instead of a woman who never even knew how she came into the world. Who had no idea what I had to go through in 9 months to bring her to the world.
“anyway.. stop it ” I warned myself.
“Remember you gave her away” my inner voice told me
“Yeah sure thanks for the reminder !” I shouted at my concience.
“Good morning aunty !” I called out heading to where Mrs Mwape sat.
“morning Jena you are welcome” “thank you” I said joining her.
” how is your girl doing?” I asked playing with Grace’s fingers. she was fast asleep. She’s ok thank God.”
“Well, I came to see you people I missed you so much..” I smiled my eyes still set on my baby.
“You are a good person Jena.. and I like the big heart you have especially towards kids, look at how you practically raised your aunt’s kids. it’s amazing how those girls love you. That’s evident you do a good job with them. And now you adore my baby with pure love. who does that? I know day God will give you your own kids and am sure you will love them more than life its self.”
I looked at Mrs Mwape say all those nice things, tears fell freely from my eyes..
” thank you” i said at last.
“Have I said anything wrong my dear?” Mrs Mwape asked sounding concerned.
” am am fine sorry aunty, it’s just that no one has ever told me am that kind of a person. I appreciate it honestly” I said wiping away the tears..
“You can always come and see the baby.” she added..
“wow!, thank you aunty I would love that” i smiled .
“you know I love babies and for some reason I like your cute little one more ” I told her,
“i noticed” she nodded her head and we both giggled.
” mind if I hold her?”
“Go ahead girl. she’s all yours.” She beamed at me.
” thank you aunty” I said lifting Grace who was now waking up. I put her on my laps and played with her whilst Mrs Mwape went inside to prepare lunch. I walked round the back yard and down to the fields.
I stopped down the fields watching the workers plant maize.
My mind started imagining what was beyond reality. I imagined Ben came behind me kiss my neck and grabbed Grace. He swings her around in the air whilst she chuckled. I couldn’t help but smile at how the two of them looked great together.
I was busy day dreaming when Grace touched my face with her little smooth hands, bringing me back to the present.
“Your dad will love you” I whispered to her
” you will see, one day God will bring the 3 of us together as it should be.”i played with her face. Grace giggled as though to say she would love that.
Her smille was priceless. If i had to die right that minute. I would surely die a happy person.
I walked back to the house when I noticed the clouds getting darker. It was going to rain any minute. I helped Mrs Mwape put the mat and Grace’s basket in the house. she gave me to feed her and I did it with pleasure.
It started pouring outside. That meant I was to stay untill the rains passed and deep down I was glad, that gave me more time with Grace.
I was invited for lunch which I declined but Being the woman she was Mrs Mwape wouldn’t take no for an answer. I painfully put Grace in her basket as I joined them at the dinning table for lunch.
“So what now that you have completed your secondary school.?” Asked Mr Mwape.
” um I wish to go to college uncle, hopefully I pass well.”
“you will dear provided you put in your best.” He spoke his mouth full
” I did”
” that’s good then, it’s hard nowadays to have a better life without education ” he added and I nodded in agreement.
Grace started crying and I almost got up to go pick her up.
” no, dear sit and finish your food let Maria take care of Grace for now.” Mrs Mwape stopped me.
” well young lady she will be fine.. Maria !” Mrs Mwape called out.
“ma! ” The maid answered from the other room.
“check on the baby.”
“yes ma” she said running to lift Grace.
It pained that some one got her.I felt a bit of jealousy but I had to play cool. After we were done eating, I offered to help bath and change Graces nappy of which I was gladly allowed to. Taking care of babies wasn’t a problem for me like Mrs Mwape said, I practically raised auntys kids. I put her on my back and she fell asleep almost instantly,
“put her in her cot will you? ”
“Yes aunty” I replied and went on putting Grace in her room.
Later, I said my good byes and left, but before I walked out.
I told Mrs Mwape how grateful I was
“you are a great person too” I added leaving her smilling.
As i walked home I looked at the number I had saved in my phone
“Ben..” I thought to myself
“I must call you tonight.” I passed through a side shop and bought some air time, refilled my phone and headed back home. It was passed 16 hours and i was sure aunty had already left for the kitchen party.
At home I was welcomed by the girls running around the yard playing in the water. I took them in changed their clothes and feed them cornflakes. I barely watched TV guess it was because I had little free time or never wanted to sit with aunty who from the beginning never allowed me to sit freely in the living room. I put cartoons for the kids.
As they watched shima and shine, I couldn’t help wish i had my own gennie to grant me my wishes.
Chisha came in from his room, he was studying engineering at the university and since they were on vacation he came home days before I did. we chatted a bit and I retired to prepare dinner.
In my bedroom I shivered a bit before dialing Ben’s line. it rang for some time without response. I redialled the line, it went unanswered again. I decided to text,
“hey it’s Jena.” Putting down my phone I fell asleep, Thinking about my girl and praying for her safe night.