I walked up to the gate and it was opened for as I knocked, and I stepped in. A dazed John just stoodby and watched as I walked right passed him and into the house
I stepped onto the threshold and paused to take in a deep breath before stepping into the living room and halted when I saw him sprawled on the living room couch, his eyes closed and his right hand hung over his forehead. My chest tightened and I felt my eyes burn with unshed tears as I took in his frame. He looked even worse than I left him
“Daniel?” I moved closer, sat close to him and tapped on his shoulders gently. He wiggled and groaned a little before his eyes fluttered open, and immediately widened as soon as he saw me. He made to sit up and I got up immediately and stood in front of him, towering over him
“What are you doing here?” he asked holding onto his chest and I flinched when I saw the look on his face. It was that of pain, but he composed himself and dropped his hand as a frown made its way to his face as he tried to get up
“No, sit down” I ordered, the words I’d been practising to say the way here kept refreshing in my head
“You’re going to sit and listen to what I have to say”. I exhaled, and looked down to my belly, placing my hand on it before looking back up to meet his quizzical gaze.
“Hi sweetie” I sniffled “I know you possibly can’t here me, not even now anyway, but I have something to say to you” I said not looking away from Daniel
“I’m gonna be your mom, and I’m really sorry I haven’t been paying attention to my body and probably causing you an inconvenience” I sniffled once more and Daniel blinked, the look of obvious confusion plastered on his face
“Your dad right here is sick, and doesn’t want me near him, cause he thinks he’s trying to protect me and do what’s best for me” a tear strayed down my check and I exhaled due to my throat clogging from the tears still building up
“But what he doesn’t know is that seeing his face everyday is all I need to go by. I want to share in his pain and comfort him and lay close to him, to hear his gentle voice when he speaks, and I want nothing more than that. I just wish he gets it and stop pushing me away” I sobbed as he stepped closer to me and placed his hand on my hands already on my belly
“Yo…you’re…. he stuttered looking straight into my eyes unable to finish the question and I nodded, the tears falling off my cheek with each nod.
“I’m so.. sorrrry…. he slurred and pulled me into himself and I could tell he was fighting the tears as his voice broke from each word he spoke. “I just thought I was doing what’s best for you. Letting you go was héll, and from now on, I’m going to be selfish for a while” he pulled away and held both my shoulders “I’m never letting you go until my last dying breath” he said pulling me into his chest once more. I sniffled and put my arms round him also as I inhaled in his scent listening to his rhythmic heart beats
The sound of the door opening pulled us out from our thoughts, our heads turning almost immediately at the direction of the front door.
“Emily?” I questioned as she stepped aside and someone else stepped in as well. Her face had confusion written on them taking in our joined state before her face immediately lit up in clear excitement and relieve
“Regina” she beamed and came forward taking long strides and freed me from Daniel’s hold before engulfing me in a bear hug, my eyes blinking rapidly in surprise. I looked over at Emily and she was smiling as well
“His mom finally pulled away and I could see tears from the corner of her eyes but they didn’t look like sad tears. She pulled a handkerchief out from her purse and dabbed the tears away and by this time, Emily was now closer to where we were
“You don’t know for how long I’ve been praying for him to get his senses straight and go get you back, but he’s so stubborn something about giving you a better future” she sniffled and glanced towards Daniel then back at me “He became a shell of himself, and the sickness had nothing to do with it. He just wallowed in self-pity each day, falling more and more into depression
“Mom” he warned, but I could see pain in his eyes for letting his mom watch him go through that. He tried to move to touch her but I beat him to it, smiling brightly at her
“I’m not going anywhere” I smiled and she nodded more tears rolling down her eyes as she nodded returning my smile
“Thank God” Emily finally said from behind us. “He’s been making me come over a lot, my husband is beginning to get paranoid.
“Here” she handed over the documents in her hands to him, smiling briefly at me before turning to leave, waving us a goodbye before closing the front door behind her. His mom was all smiles as she went about preparing something not minding my protests. After a While, I gave in and excused myself to call Jane about the new development, promising to talk to her soon, before going back to help in the kitchen. I set up and we sat and ate, and the food actually passed through my throat unlike the nauseous feeling I’ve been getting lately when I so much as try to put something in my mouth and a smile made its way to my face as a curious Mrs Walters looked up at me, but I waved it off and changed the topic and soon, she was telling all that’s been going on, much to Daniel’s dismay as I could see his face scrunch up whenever she said something embarrassing and we’d both laugh. She told how he called her late at night when I left and wasn’t speaking, all she heard were murmurs and she ran over surprised to see that I wasn’t there. She had feared for the worse but was relieved he was fine, but at the same time, he was not fine
I turned to him, placing my hand on his lap and squeezed gently, sending him a smile
Mrs Walters left a little while later and we decided, to retire early to bed would be great as he couldn’t seem to get enough of me, and I wasn’t complaining
Days rolled by and his ill health seemed to had taken a break as he had gone weeks without an episode, and weeks turned months. Though we were happy, but worry was not far from us as we feared everyday for the worse but decided to not let it rule out our lives
“No, no..no..no…. I shook my head as my shoulders were being held in a comforting manner but it did nothing to calm me down as I screamed at the top of my lungs jerking up immediately from on top the bed and into a sitting position. Beads of sweats trickling down the side of my face and my breaths coming out in pants. I turned to see Daniel already up, though it was dark I could still see his frame. I must’ve woken him up with my scream. He turned the bedside lamp on immediately brightening up the room a Little, and I could see the worry lines on his face
“Are you okay honey? He moved closer to touch me but I jumped down the bed swiftly, narrowly dodging him
“I need to pee” I let out hurriedly and made my way towards the bathroom, my chest rising and falling rapidly as I entered and locked the door behind me and slid down the door and unto the ground, my hands raised to my head as my eyes burned with the tears brimming in them
“This isn’t happening” I muttered helplessly
Regina open the door. Daniel knocked impatiently at the bathroom door. I could tell he was getting frustrated as he was huffing as he went on banging on it. But after a while, the knocking stopped and he sighed out frustratedly
I shook my head trying to clear out the bad dream as if doing so would magically wipe it off my brain. If you can’t remember it then it’s probably not going to happen, I murmured and shook my head vigourously until a dizzy feeling hit me and I stopped to hold my head in my palm.
“No..oo..oo” my voice broke as flashes of it kept playing in my head.
“Noooooo” I banged my head on the bathroom door and immediately the knocking resumed, even more fierce
“Open the door and talk to me Regina” he barked and I shook my head as if he was seeing me from inside here and continued banging my head on the wall as if to rid myself of it. The incessant knocking subsided and then came his pained voice
“Please open up Regina” he pleaded “Please talk to me”
I stopped with the banging and sniffled, got up to open the door before sitting back down, my face bent towards the ground. He sat opposite where I was and raised my chin to see the tears trailing down. His expression was that of someone whose unable to help his loved one in pain. He remained quiet as he stared intently at me and I sniffled taken in his disoriented state and my body jerked from my sobbing as he finally pulled me into him, stroking my hair
“Want to talk about it?” he pulled away to look me in the eyes but my visions were blurred, and he wiped my tears with his thumb
“Its getting worse…..” I sniffled
He looked at me for a while before the hand cupping my face dropped, and so did his face. He knew what was happening, he has been witnessing it for a while now and every time it’s the same. The same pattern, the same end results. He’s going to die
He looked up once more and the look on his face changed dramatically. He was smiling now and his gaze was fixed. My brows furrowed as I followed his gaze and was on my belly
“Just wondering if baby in there” he pointed to my stomach “will also be a cry baby like his mom” he finished smirking
“It’s seriously happening and you’re worried if the baby will be a cryer?” I asked incredulously and he looked up to look me in the eyes before bursting into a laugh. I looked at the man before me and began to wonder if the sickness was now affecting his brain. Maybe that’s why he hasn’t had an episode for a while now. He stopped to take in my stunned look before bursting into another fit of laughter. But then it hit me, he was dealing with it, laughing about whether the baby will be a crybaby was his way of dealing with it at the moment since its the only escape for now, and it didn’t take long for me to join the laughter and soon we were laughing like we were high
“Well, excuse me for being a cry baby, need I remind you a certain someone was responsible for my tears” I teased and immediately he sobbered up but the smile was still on his lips
“I’m sorry” he murmured pressing his lips on mine before pulling away to cup my face.
“I love you” I smiled and suddenly looked down to my belly rubbing circles round it
“I hope the baby doesn’t hold a grudge though. After all you put mummy through, what if he grows up to hate you?” I posed like it was a serious question
“You’re just three months gone Regina, pretty sure the baby wasn’t formed yet then, and so baby can’t hate me, he bent his head to place a kiss on my belly before looking back at me, a glint in his eyes, and my heart soured for the love he has already for his unborn child, but then there was that pain that there’s a pretty big chance he won’t live long enough to watch him grow
“Not true” I snickered in hopes of bursting his bubbles “Babies know. They can feel what their carrier feels, It’s sort of like a connection” I smiled as if confirming my theory while he shook his head biting down on his lower lip to stop himself from laughing out loud, a move that always makes my insides flutter
“Then I should start making him think I’m a good daddy then” he flicked my stomach lightly and I nodded feigning seriousness which just made him laugh
“Want to go back to bed?” he asked, as my head rested on his shoulders. He had made me laugh out loud with jokes and stories to get my mind of it and later we resorted to resting our backs on the bathroom wall
“hmmmmmm” I murmured trying to fight the sleep, but losing. He got the idea and helped me up and put me to bed, tucked me under the cover and placed a chaste kiss on my forehead before lying down right next, his hand draped around my torso
“Good night again” I murmured and I could hear the deep throaty chuckle as it brought a smile on my face before he replied
…To be continued