In the space of two minutes that Muyiwa and I started kissing, I knew I was going to sleep with him. It wasn’t just the heat and passion of the moment, it was the deep sense of betrayal I was feeling coupled with the pent up desire I always had for him. It felt so inevitable. As he carried me into his bedroom, he looked into my eyes asking for silent permission to take this further. That was my undoing. He was still being such a gentleman, not taking it for granted. As I nodded and pulled him close to me, all thoughts of what led to this moment lay forgotten. It was pure, raw, hot sex. As we crashed side by side about 30 minutes later, I expected to feel bad or guilty but surprisingly I was just blank. Muyiwa turned to me, uncertainty all over his face;
‘’Are you okay babe?’’
‘’Why do you look so worried Muyiwa? I am fine. Don’t worry I am not going to start screaming or crying that you took advantage of me. I needed that’’.
‘’Teni, are you sure?’’
‘’Okay now don’t piss me off…What is there not to be sure of? Two consenting adults had sex. Drop it abeg.’’
‘’Okay I am sorry, I didn’t mean to get you worked up. So what do you want to do now?’’
‘’What do you mean?’’
“You can’t hide here forever, you will need to go home sometime and it is almost noon already. So what do you want to do?’’
‘’Okay, I will just change back and go home and take it from there. I’ll talk to you later right?’’
‘’Okay that sounds alright. Where are you going to tell your hubby you have been though?’’
‘’I will cross that bridge when I get there don’t you think?’’
Few minutes later, I was out of Muyiwa’s house and driving home and that was when I really processed what I had done. I cheated on my husband. It felt surreal. All the messages from church, all the movies, all the books I had read and all the insults I had hurled at women who could not keep their legs closed and I did the exact same thing without any shame. Thinking back to David’s conversation I eavesdropped on this morning did not even assuage my guilt.
As soon as I drove into the compound, I could not shake off the feeling of dread that I could feel creeping all over me. I walked into the house and saw my nanny sitting on the sofa shaking and crying. My mind immediately went to Princess,
“Where is Princess and where is my husband? What happened?’’
Her voice shaking, she said, ‘’Oga has been trying to call you. Princess has been rushed to the hospital and he said I should wait here for you to tell you just in case you come back here before he reaches you.
‘’Jesus Christ!!! Why was she taken to the hospital? What happened? ‘’
I bombarded her with questions while we went to the hospital and I was able to gather that Princess was seen on the bed convulsing and foaming from the mouth and was rushed to the hospital. As soon as I got to the hospital, I spotted David Pacing relentlessly in the waiting room and I ran to him.
‘’David, what happened? How is she? What are the doctors saying?’’
He looked at me with a coldness I had never seen before, ‘’She is in the emergency room and I am waiting for the doctor to update me. Teni, where the hell have you been?’’
“I will tell you later, I just need to know she is okay’’.
As we continued to wait for the doctor, I cried and cried for the pain my daughter must be going through. I cried for the choices I have made. I just pray my daughter is okay because that is the only untainted thing in my life at the moment. I went on my knees in the waiting room weeping and praying,
“Oh God keep my baby for me. Let her be okay. Please don’t use her as a punishment for my sin. I am so sorry lord.
…to be continued