The knob is faulty

The knob is faulty
and my door is noisy
My room is dark
but there’s light in the street
I’m no alien to this sight
My eyes give me light
I stroll in this dark,
bottles welcome me as I kick against them
my way of saying ‘I am back’
I pull my shirt
and make for the bed
with shoes still on
and belted pants
there’s ash in the tray
but no stick to light
I reach for a gum
and feel a cork
I sit upright to take a gulp
My throat burns
but I smile
It’s been six weeks since you left
my face hurts from the heat of
your last breath
my heart’s shattered
that car crashed it
The pills don’t work
so I do everything the Doc’ said not to do
Like alcohol, cigarettes and stress
Hoping that someday I’l write you a poem
with first verse like
“eventually, I made it go away”
I’ll never be able to face you
when you come out of me
Someday I’ll join you
maybe then,
we would make babies