FATIMA – Episode 13

©Miriam Edem

Episode XIII

I fought so hard to run to my father, I cried, I screamed, I begged to see just another glance of him saying he’s not dead but only sleeping.

“Let me talk to him please, he’ll wake up I promise you that. My father is not dead no!” I kept shouting not until I saw the hospital spinning in circles and I passed out.

I woke up and saw my brothers in the room with me with their head bowed and it got me more ashamed of myself. With all that has happened, my mother had to send them to a boarding school so they won’t experience my misbehaviours. Fresh tears flowed freely when I thought its a bad dream, but sadly my father is lying straight in the morgue.

 

How can I live with the thought that I killed my own father? I thought of carrying such dirty secret to my grave, cause if it gets to the knowledge of my family that I ripped them off the love of their father and husband, they will never forgive me.

I burst out crying and my brothers raised their head and ran out to alert my mother am awake.

 

“Fatima, Fatima it’s okay please, you’re in a bad situation already” my mom calmly said with her eyes all swollen.

“Is dad awake already?” I asked and she cleaned her face trying hard not to cry.

 

“Your brothers are here please, don’t make things difficult for them” my mom replied and I looked at them.

“Sister it’s okay, you know daddy will always want us to be strong right?” The elder one said and I nodded and sniffed.

 

“Have you not been taking your drugs? Your baby is in a bad condition or do you want to lose it?” My mom asked and I breathed out and tried to sit down but my waist was on fire.

“The doctor wanted taking the baby out, if you continue stressing yourself this way you’re making things worst” my mom added but I was not interested anymore. I didn’t say a word to her and she heaved,

 

“Let me get you something to eat” my mom said and left the room and I sniffed.

“Please get me my phone” I said to my brother and he searched through my bag and handed it to me. I turned it on and dialled Daniel number but he kept rejecting the calls.

I kept on calling and he picked up finally,

 

“What is it?” Was what I heard from him.

“What is it?” I asked back.

 

‘What ever you want to say make it quick cause am busy” Daniel replied.

“Wow!………. ” babe can you help me with this” I heard Beauty voice at the background interrupting me.

 

“Look let me call you back” Daniel said and dropped the call. I was dumbfounded and my heart began beating fast.

I remained at the hospital for extra 2 days and Daniel never called me back, even when I call he drops it and switches off his phone. Life became more miserable and I needed answers. One evening when my mom left to church, I left the house to his place, just at the door before I could knock, I heard them giggling and laughing loud inside. With my shaky hands, I knocked on the door,

 

“Who’s there? Come in” Beauty said and I slowly opened up and walked in to see Beauty lying on Daniel skimpily dressed. She rolled her eyes when she saw me,

“What are you doing here?” Daniel asked shifting Beauty aside to sit up but I was already sweating with my eyes red.

 

“Is she really your friend or relative as you told me?” I asked.

“Hey calm down okay, stop having ancient mindset with you always, relatives behaves so cool where I…… ” cut me that crap! Where you come from Relatives sleeps with each other right?” I cut in and Beauty scoffed.

 

“Get out!” She shouted on me.

‘I will, I just wanted answers and I have it. Besides my dad is late, but please don’t ask how I lost him, that’s my cross to bear for the rest of my life” I said to Daniel.

 

“What! How? I mean what happened to him?” Daniel asked but I turned and left immediately.

“Fatima wait!” Daniel shouted and attempted to run after me.

 

“Let her go, was it you that killed him?” I heard Beauty said and I walked so fast away from there. I kept on walking so fast broken and crying to myself when i felt a sharp pain. I stopped breathing so hard looking around, but I noticed I could not move my leg. I quickly searched for my phone and called my mother,

“And I was about calling you, where are you?” My mom quickly picked up.

 

“Mom.. Mom…ahhhhh!” I screamed out.

“Fatima!” My mom shouted but I fell the phone holding my waist.

 

“Somebody help me! Please help me!” I cried out and passerbys quickly stopped a cab and rushed me to the hospital. My mom was contacted on the way and she met us there shortly.

“Fatima, Fatima! Can you see me?” My mom asked touching my face but I was dying with pains and the doctor walked in.

 

“With what I am seeing, we need to take the baby out” the doctor said.

“Can I please take her to the hospital she was registered?” My mother asked.

 

“What’s the difference?” The doctor asked.

“You won’t understand, please help me let’s take her out of here” my mom said.

 

“I’m dying ooooh” I screamed out.

“It’s okay keep breathing okay” my mom kept saying as they rushed me out of there to another hospital.

 

“I thought I told her to avoid anything stress?” The doctor said as he was waiting for us already.

“Please help us, I can’t lose another member of my family I beg you” my mother said with all tears.

 

“This isn’t labour” was the last thing I heard the doctor said before I passed out.

 

I woke up with a blurry sight and was so confused why am in a hospital, and immediately my mom walked in.

“Hey Thank God you’re awake” my mom said touching my hair smiling.

“What am I doing here?” I asked her.

 

“You don’t remember? It’s a boy” my mom replied smiling and I scoffed.

“What’s a boy?” I asked and tried sitting up but we both screamed.

 

“Jesus Christ! Fatima do you want to loose the threads? Do you realize you’ve been unconscious for 3 days now?” My mom asked and quickly ran out to bring a doctor and that was when I saw the stitches and gasped.

They walked in shortly and I confusedly looked at the doctor,

“Why was I stitched? What’s going on here?” I seriously asked that my mother looked at the doctor.

 

“Fatima calm down, how are you feeling my dear?” The doctor calmly said.

“Why was I stitched? What was taken out of me?” I asked?

 

“A baby, a baby boy” the doctor replied smiling.

“No! No I was not pregnant!” I screamed out…….

 

For more than I week I could not still believe I have a son who wasn’t fit. With all the sad happenings around his birth and the stress, he was diagnosed of cerebral palsy. Even when I was wheeled to where he was intensively taken care of, all I felt was hatred for him which I later understood I suffered from Postpartum depression which also made me suffered memory loss. I didn’t want to touch him or have anything to do with him, in fact I just wanted leaving the hospital and run away.

I disturbed so much that I want to be discharged,

 

“Fatima why are you doing this? Your son needs you now, if you leave what about him?” My mom asked.

“Let him just die!” I shouted and my mom slapped me hard.

 

“You brought this upon yourself and not that innocent child, I won’t allow him suffer for your mistakes, don’t you have conscience at all? That boy is already suffering from your carelessness and you still want to punish him more!” My mother shouted while I held my cheeks crying and a nurse walked in.

“What happened?” The nurse asked.

 

“I want to leave this place! I don’t want to be here!” I shouted.

“It’s okay, the doctor says you can go, but you have to be coming for checkup” the nurse said.

 

“Thank you!” I quickly said and got ready to disappear from the hospital.

 

Despite I was home, I still felt this restlessness and helplessness. I saw my dad in my dreams every time I close my eyes and if miserable was a person it will be me. I saw myself slowly going crazy and my mother was more than confused with the way I was.

“Fatima please if this is about Daniel can you just move on and take care of yourself? Do you want to ki*ll yourself?” My mom kept asking but she could not understand.

 

One evening I slept off and woke up to see the wound was opened and I was bleeding. I staggered out of the room to find out my mom was not home, probably to check her grandson up.

I looked at the wound and saw that as a means to end my miserable life but I didn’t want it to be at home. I covered my hand there and left the house and kept walking with the memories of my father in my head.

 

“Please forgive me daddy” I said and with my eyes closed I crossed the road.

 

Tbc.

#milove