IS THIS LOVE Episode – 23

IS THIS LOVE – Episode 23

A story by Kennedy C Katongo

 

LITTLE BENNY

“There is something am going to tell you. You shouldn’t get mad though.” I said before I could start explaining myself to her.

“Now that you’ve asked me not to get mad, guess what? Am mad. So what you been hiding?” She asked me with intent to ki*ll.

“Back in high school, I had a male friend, Ben. Don’t know if you remember him…” Without me not even ending my sentence she stepped in.

“Benny!! Isn’t he the one dad almost beat up when he found him at the gate?” She laughed.

“Like seriously!” I dropped my face, “Of all things that’s the only thing you could remember… You a wrong one. Anyway, yes! That Benny. We recently met and have been in contact for some time. His the one I was with at ZCAS.” I told her.

“Does Chileshe know about this?” My cousin asked me.

“What’s there to know. It’s not important. Besides, it’s not like am dating him for me to tell him about the ghosts from my past life. Furthermore, nothing ever happened between Ben and I.” I told her.

“Well, you can say nothing ever happened. Both of us know his always had a thing for you. Just be careful, the past has a way of messing up the future especially when it’s hidden from those who need to know of it.” “What happened with Chileshe though? Did you find him on top of some girl?” She laughed as she spoke.

“You crazy. Not everyone loves being on top you know…” I laughed as I answered her.

“Then what made you not to stay longer?” She pressed on. For a minute I thought she would drop the question.

“I… I got mad because he is one guy that likes to pretend everything is okay even when they not. I was at his room – he has no food. Nothing.” I lashed out.

“You got mad because of that? Girl you tripping, remember it’s this same attitude that got you hurt last time. The fact that he doesn’t tell you when his in need means he doesn’t want to bother you.” My cousin pointed out in a nutshell.

“It’s not about my past here. At least he needs to be honest instead of lying that all is well.” I objected.

“You friends get worked up cause their men are cheating and all that, yet you here worked up because he didn’t tell you he has no food. You need to be serious, besides, it seems like you and little Benny are doing just fine.” She giggled, my cousin had a way of making fun of things in the most awkward moments.

“I can’t be with Ben. I see him as my friend and that will never change.”

“Am just speaking my mind. At times it’s better to compromise with the one that is head over hills for you than having to build a man from the bottom up.” “Think about that.” She cautiously.

A FEW MONTHS LATER

“Hey, you look down. What’s wrong?” Lydia had just walked in, I was about to finish my shift and she wanted us to spend time together.

It had already been 4 months since I began work at M&B and now I was exhausted from serving people and being tipped.

Because of work, I found a small house to rent in a small compound called Chilulu. It was behind Northmead.

Exam came like a flood and all that was left are stories of how we faired. Mwenda had traveled to Southern Province a week after we finished exams. Both of us were excited to be done with school, however, I on the other hand needed to raise money so that I could pay back what I owed the institution.

Thinking I would join one of the best private schools in Lusaka after college – things never went like that. Rather it became difficult to find work relating to my profession. Instead of doing nothing, I decided to stay and continue working full time as a waiter.

“It’s nothing. Just thinking about life…” I have off a smile.

“I don’t like it when you all serious and deep in thought. Don’t want you breaking down on me…” Lydia said as she hit me on the shoulder.

A month ago, I had received news from home that broke me down. I couldn’t help it, after all, it was my own mother that was complaining about taking me to school and now I wasn’t helping them. Her words cut deep, her words kept replaying in my mind and that send me into a panic attack that landed me in the hospital.

“Don’t be funny.” I laughed shyly, “Don’t worry such a thing won’t happen again.”

“It sure shouldn’t. So what did you want me to help you with?” She asked me.

“I lost my budget. So was hoping you could help me draft a new one. I mean, you the one that made the other one after all.” I said.

“You really need to find yourself a girlfriend to be doing all this for you…” Lydia commented.

“You might just be the one… You can never be too sure about these things.” I smiled.

“Wipe that stubborn smile off your face.” She said aggressively.

Ever since Matimba walked out on me because of me not being honest to her, things between us had really taken a turn for the worst. We hardly spoke and if we did, our conversation was always one to drag along.

When I was admitted in hospital because of the attack, she came through to see me.

I could tell that the spark she had in her eyes when we first met had vanished. We no longer zinged. Instead we were friends who barely knew each other. While things were falling apart between me and her, things between Lydia and I were accelerating at an impressive rate.

Even though I maintained a boundary of us not dating, once in a while she would throw in a kiss and I would do like wise.

However, she recently told me that she had someone who was really serious with her. She told me she wanted to give the guy a chance, I tried to keep my cool about it, but she knew it hard gotten to me. Not only that, the same guy wasn’t okay with her spending time with me almost every time.

“Way are you walking like the boss? Carry a trolley.” She ordered me around as we entered Pick N pay.

“How is he doing?” I asked her.

“His fine. I thought we agreed not to talk about him. Why you asking about him?” She asked me.

“I don’t know. You haven’t told me what you have decided yet. Am curious.” I told her as I followed from behind with a trolley. She was throwing in anything and everything.

“Since you want to know. I said yes.”

“You said yes! C’mon. Are you sure you making the right decision?” I asked her, I was in shock and she could tell by the way in which I express myself.

“It’s right. I’ve given it a considerably large amount of thought and I’ve decided to give him a shot. It’s not like am dating anyone. I just can’t be here waiting for prince charming, what if his in the frog that’s following me.” She laughed loudly, “I know you don’t like him. He doesn’t like you as well. If I want my relationship with him to work I will definitely have to cut you off.” She added.

“But…””Do you really think cutting me off is the best thing to do?” I asked her with a now sad look covering my face.

“The friendship that exists between us isn’t right. You have made it clear you not ready for a relationship, I can’t stick around and wait for the day when you will want to date. It doesn’t work like that Chileshe.”

“Can I add some mayonnaise…” I smiled.

“Black’s and mayonnaise right?” She smiled back.

 

tToo be continued…