Water Strike – Episode 7

Water Strike – Episode 7

Vickie Dora

Episode 7

(Fresh pepper)

*That same day*

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*Late in the afternoon*

(Sylvester, popularly known as Big Prof arrive from his work place where he teach as a lecturer. He got the name Big Prof due to the way he speaks and the numerous English he has formed. Worn out and drained, he rushed home to have a shower and nice lunch before settling down to mark some script of assignment. He rushed towards the drum where he do keep his water but found nothing, the water has been exhausted. He couldn’t afford to stay that way, his body has been itching, right from work and he needs to cool it down. He picked up a bucket to go fetch water at the public borehole, but sighted a bucket full of water close to Landlady’s kitchen. No one was there; he decided to have a quick look)

Big Prof: hmm, this is water here gosh, should I just take it and use that perhaps I return it back when I go get mine (he thought)

Big prof: (shrugging) well that’s the best option, whereas no one will know that I use it anyway. I will just bath with it first, before going to fetch mine, simple (he muttered and took the water to the bathroom)

(Not up to five minute, he ran out of the bathroom with just his boxers, well he won’t afford going out naked; screaming and rubbing his body. Immediately, his students, the boys arrived together with Chioma and baby Sussi. They were marveled at the way their lecturer was screaming his lungs out.

Landlady and Oga landlord also came out of their rooms, together with Baba and Iya Sade. Other tenants from different angles also came to peep)

Big Prof: fire ooo, fire,,,,,there is fire on the mountain

Douglas: (Smiling) Run run run…Oh sorry my lecturer, but what is it sir

Oga landlord: Wetin happen na Big prof

Big Prof: Ahh Oga landlord, Landlady….Ahn my body is on fire, fan me fan me oo

Baby Sussi: Make una fan erm na (gesturing to the boys)

James: Emeka, get me that big hand fan inside the room

Emeka: ok (he dashed immediately to get it) This is it

James: thank you (he collected the fan and started fanning him with all his strength)

Chioma: Erm Slyvester, what’s wrong why are you out here half naked (she mocked as he glared at her, breathing heavily. Well it’s not her fault, he has a crush on her and she has been playing with his feelings, now she is making mockery of him)

Big prof: heii, that water….water ….the f****ng ….watrer

Mallam: talk naw,, wetin do the phucking water

Oga landlord: Shey water offend you ni

Big Prof: nooo, not that..Landlady water….beside the kitchen..i used it to take my bath…and my body was set on fire

(Immediately he said this, Landlady busted into a thunderous laughter, as other joined her but stop when hers was becoming too much)

Oga landlord: Ahhnnann, what is happening, why are all of you laughing like a parrot naw? We are talking serious issue here. Big Prof ca not just run outside naked, if the matter is not serious

Landlady: haeeei, laugh will not ki*ll me, my husband oo, we have catch the thief

Oga landlord: Which thief (At the mention of thief, segun shifted back a little while Emeka gave him a suspicious stare)

Landlady: Hmm, you see that water that you used, I use it to wash pepper na, atta rodo (Fresh pepper). I wanted to use the water to wash that gutter beside the kitchen, that’s why I did not throw it away, because water  have scarce naw

Mallam: Ehiie so Big prof, na you bin dey steali water for this house

Big prof: No no, don’t tag me as a thief, I can never steal, I only borrowed the water to use and promised to return it back when I fetch mine. Oh God I should have just fetch mine instead (He cried, as they watch him pitifully)

Baby Sussi: Eehyyyaa, so Big Prof fit cry like this, ehn, sorry, you hear. An landlady, why you naw keep that water there now, what if a small pikin go and enter it, you are careless oo

Chioma: Well sorry Sylvester, I will head to my room now, bye everyone (she muttered and left)

Douglas: Hmm na wa oo, that girl get mind oo, see as she dey follow a whole lecturer talk

Emeka: Woo, I’m hungry, I need to eat something, let’s go in (he gestured to Segun and douglas, as they both left too. Other onlookers laughed and left, leaving only Landlord, his wife, baby sussi and James with Big Prof)

James: (still fanning Big Prof) Sir, I’m really hungry oo, I can’t continue fanning you like this

Landlord: Erm jemisi, you can leave, I will give him something to rub…

James: ok sir(he left leaving the fan, as Big prof picked it and continue fanning himself)

Landlord: erm,,baby sussi you too can leave….ahnahn baby sussi….

Landlady: baby sussi!!!!!! (She yelled as baby sussi jerk back to reality, she has been in deep thought, staring at Big prof big d*ck which bulge out beneath the boxer. This guy carry erm well well oo, she thought)

Baby Sussi: maaaa!! (she said out of shock) Ahhnah, why did you shout my name like that na

Big Prof: You zoned out

Landlord: Ahn Baby Sussi, so…you were looking at Big Prof cucumber…ah, you did not even hear when I was calling you

Landlady: Mtchewww, don’t mind her, ashawo (Prostitute)

Baby sussi: Which…which Cucumber, something that I cannot see, shebi he wear boxer

(Big Prof glared hard at her)

Landlord: And so…why are you looking at it, have you not seen bigger Cucumbers

Baby sussi: And how is that your business, his cucumber is big, fine, accept it like that, anyway I’m leaving. (She muttered and winked at Big Prof)

Big Prof: Mtcheww, spoilt brat.

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*The boys room*

(Douglas and Segun bursted into laughter immediately James entered)

James: (Shaking his head) This life eehhnn.,who will believe that almighty Big Prof will run out of the bathroom almost naked..as in

Douglas: (laughing hieratically) I swear, look at the way he was even begging you to fan him

Segun: (Also laughing) As in, Landlady wicked oo, so you mean that she actually dropped that bucket of pepper water for a next use…in this time of water scarcity.

Emeka: I’m not sure if that is her motive, she actually want to catch the person who do steal her water..and we all know who that person is

Segun: Hey hey bros, shey you no follow use the water?

Emeka: Well what can I do, we were late for school already and mind you babay Sussi metioned something about Landlady planning to get who the thief is. She noticed her missing bucket of water this morning while we are away

James: So segun stole her water

Douglas: Bro, why you do that kain thing na (Looking at segun who hissed loudly)

Segun: Where did you expect me to get water, even landlady deserves more than that sef…that woman that is very wicked. Remember the day I went to buy garri in her shop…just 10 naira that remains to complete the money, she did not leave it for me, that idiot collected the money by force..and I will now see her water and walk away like the lost serpent abi…oboy I go carry erm take baff,..i don’t give a damn men

James: Hmmmm Segun, hmm you know that this who is a Yoruba woman….

Douglas: ehne what is wrong with that

James: haa, I fear Yoruba people ooooo haaaa, juju…she go just use charm comot your peninsula (p***s)

Emeka: serious???

James: yes na, don’t you know

Segun: Wetin forget it joor, am I not also a Yoruba boy, I carry something oo, maa so be oo, omo Oshogbo ni mi (Don’t say that, I am an Oshogbo boy)

Douglas: Guy chop knuckle jare  (He jabs his knuckles with that of Segun) una no dey back jare

James: So are you saying that you also know all this charms or is it that hers won’t work on your body?

Segun: Ogbeni forget it joor, I don’t want to know the babalawo she will go and meet, e no go work

Douglas: Chaii, such an interesting film we watched today, I wonder how he will be able to face us tomorrow (referring to Big Prof)

James: Do you even think he will make it to school, that pepper will really cost him a lot of pains before it subside. And we all know how peppery Landlady’s food use to be, the day I ate it, I almost died

Emeka: Was the pepper too much

Douglas: Haaa, it was ten much…(yawning) woo, I wan chop oo, emeka prepare something let’s eat

Emeka: When did I become the cook

Segun: Your food dey sweet jare, no let this idiot cook oo, erm fit burn this building with his burnt sacrifice

Douglas: Abegi, you nko, you sabi cook? Idiot

Segun: Gbe enu e soun joor (shut up) dog glass (he muttered as Emeka busted into laughter)

(Meanwhile, outside their door stood bola, the landlady’s annoying daughter. She was sent by her father to call Douglas but stopped to eaves drop on their conversation)

Bola: Hmmmm, so Segun think that he is wise abi…he stole maami water and still boast on top of it. He does not know what maami (my mother) is capable of..anyways…that his peninsula will surely go missing…ko ti mo nkankan (he does not know anything)(she muttered, before knocking on the door).

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TBC

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Landlady wicked oo….ehnn

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Love Y’all

Vickie Dora