Water Strike – Episode 1

Episode 1

(The Beginning) 

(Sitting in the room, are the three friends: James, Segun, and Douglas, going through newspapers as their stomach made rumbling sound due to lack of food. A room painted white and gold, with two beds, a table and wooden chair, one stool at the other end of the room beside the bed. They seem to be so engross in the paper they are reading to have noticed the angry noises their stomach made)

Segun: Guy, see wetin I see for this place oo (He said showing the paper to Douglas)

Douglas: hahan, don’t you know this girl, she is the latest chick in town oooo

James: which girl is that (He asked struggling to get up from the bed to see for himself)

Douglas: Na Folake na, that girl is a witch, I swear

Segun: Serious, I can’t believe she has been arrested

Douglas: That one, she is a real ritualist, I had that she sleeps with men just to use them for ritual

James: so are you telling me that this Folake is a ritualist, isn’t she a prostitute

Douglas: Before nko, that’s her profession, but that was just a façade. Her real mission is to damage the lives of men by sleeping with them, and gaining money in return.

Segun: Guys; men don suffer for this life, all this women wicked ooo, imagine. This small folake,,,,,ehhe

James: Abi ooo, I was even trying my luck on her one time like that, I don’t know that she is someone like this ooo

Douglas: Na only you?, Our lecture, Mr. Kudi, has gbense the hell out of her, can’t you see that he has turned to bonga fish, she don finish em life. It remains to do his burial.

James: huhunh, how did you know about it, Mr. BBC

Douglas: Serious oo, guy I no lie, I swear. I do see her almost every time coming out of that idiot office, I was even jealous that this man is enjoying big Nash and br**st, while we small boy can’t get any, because we are poor. But thank God that I did not try any move to approach her, if not, I for don die too

Segun: Hmmmm, thank God that she has confessed and has being arrested, I can’t come and die in this Lagos that I’m still hustling.

Douglas: that’s not even the case. I just don’t want her to go and bewitch those small girls that are still giving us pepper soup, those ones’ eyes never too opens sha (he said as Segun’s stomach growls loudly)

James: Guy, your stomach dey mess?

Segun: I’m hungry now,, let’s find something that we can eat, I can’t stay like this oo (He grumbled, dropping the newspaper and slumped on the bed beside James)

Douglas: Wait oo, James. I thought you said that your cousin is coming from the village, where is he going to live

James: which kain question be that one, he is staying here of course

Douglas & Segun: Haaaaaaaa (they both exclaim)

Segun: In this same room, that is another mouth adding to our mouth oo. This one that hungry is beating us like this, another one want to come

Douglas: That is not even the problem, will oga landlord accept another tenant

James: Leave that old man alone joor, na money em dey find. I will just grease his hand with something and he will accept

Douglas: So when is he coming

James: He supposed to be here by now (he said checking the time) He left home since yesterday evening, this is just 7am.

Segun: Oh but….(They were interrupted by a knock on the door). I will go get it

Douglas: No let me get it (He said as they both struggled with each other on who will open the door)

James: Hey guys, why this annoying play na. Open the door first let’s see who the fellow is, it might be my cousin

(Segun went ahead to open the door and met his worst enemy, he hissed loudly and bang the door to the fellows face)

James: why did you close the door na, who is at the door

Segun: who else if not that annoying landlord, he has come with his wahala again, can’t someone rest for once

James: Fine, let me speak with him

(Outside the room, the landlord was busy raining curses on Segun for slamming the door to his face that way)

Landlord: Stupid, idioitic human being. You didn’t even have single respect for your fathers. Ode!!(Fool)

James: hahan, oga landlord, that one is too much na, what happen

Landlord: (adjusting the chewing stick in his mouth) Is it not that stupid boy that calls his name segun, or whatever. Ehnn, this morning in the early, he can’t even show single respect

Douglas: (Coming out from the room, and standing beside James) Oga landlord it is early in the morning, not morning in the early, hanhan, where did you get all those English from

Landlord: Hey-, just shut your useless mouth there, are you the one that send me to school, at least I can pronunciation my words well

Douglas: Jesus uu

James: E shoke u?

Douglas: More than electricity

Landlord: what is shocking you, are you both insulting me

Douglas & James: (Mockingly) Noo naaaaa

James: Landlord the landlord, we can’t mock you now, ahn ahn. So oga Landlord, what brought you to my humble abode this morning in the early, according to your English

Landlord: Ehhen, omo dada (Good child). I have news for you. It is a good and bad news

James: Ehen, serious? Well, wait landlord, let me tell you my own news first

Landlord: Drive on

Douglas: Hey, where is he driving to (he muttered silently)

James: (Stared angrily at Douglas to keep his voice down) Ehen, as I was saying. Oga landlord, my cousin will be coming today from the village, and he is coming to this compound

Landlord: okay??(Nodding his head)

James: And he is going to be leaving here with us

Landlord: us??? Which of us? which house sef

Douglas: Our room na, this room (He gestured to the room)

Landlord: heiheaaa, I laugh in my native language

Douglas: You can laugh in your foreign language as well

James: Oga landlord, what happen na

Landlord: You are already three agberos (Touts) leaving in this room. Now another one want to come, Ogun forbid it, over my dead body

Douglas: But you are not dead yet sha, but very soon sha

Landlord: so you want to ki*ll me abi, in my compound, okay na

James: Oga Landlord, just tell me the amount you want, so that my cousin will join us here. Ok, let’s do it like this, we will double the amount of rent we are paying. Are you ok with that?

Landlord: Erm ,,,,,Hmmmm (turning his head, sideways) Lets see about that naa. Erm,,,lets him come, but other charges will apply ooo

James: Ehn before that one will come, tell us the goodnews and bad news first

Landlord: ok, let me tell you the bad news

Douglas: why not the good news first

Landlord: Gbe enu e soun (shut up) And you call yourself a student in the unifasity (University) and you are behaving like a bull goat

Douglas: heiii

Landlord: Don’t you know that after you hear the bad news, when you now hear the goodnews, it will now cool your mind, abi na  Jamisi (James)

James: My name is James sir

Landlord: woo, anyone, name is name. Okay,,,the bad news is that our bore hole has spoil, so,,,,there will not be water for a long time

James&Douglas: Haaaaaahahahh, pokoyoooo

Douglas: I don finish,,,,water is my life

James: Okay.,,,,what is the goodnews

Landlord: Good question, the goodnews is that, that old well at the back of the compound, that has been locked for about a year now, is having little water in it

Douglas: haa, thank God

Landlord: Wait first, lemme finish. Okay, erm,,, you see that well, hmmm, before you fetch water from it, you will have to pay #200 for one yellow keg

Douglas: Haaa #200, how is that one now a good news

James: I wonder ooo

Landlord: if you like wonder or wondering, just accept it like that or go find where you can fetch water, I have spoken my own oo (He said, taking the exit route while the two guys stare at him with disgust)

James: heii, what type of life is this

Douglas: This one pass suffer oo. How do you now expect a  whole me, Douglas to go and be looking for water up and down, all those my babes will now be like……haaa, no no no Oga landlord must find a solution to this, I can’t take it

James: Hmmm, we will survive, abi shey no be Lagos we dey….but wait oo, is segun still inside the room, hope he has not finished that small garri that remains

Douglas: Ewwoooo (He exclaimed) segun,,,,,….(They both struggled their way into the room)

.

TBC…

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Author’s Note

Sorry it’s short…it’s not gonna be more than this length. And about the mix up of English, Yoruba and pidgin, remember that it’s a Nigerian drama, so you will expect other languages. Thank for reading….

.

Love y’all

Vickie Dora

5 Comments

  1. Haaaa,morning in the early,unifasity,Baba landlord,this your english don tear my mouth o,i can't stop laughing.

  2. Interesting as expected

    The mixed language is not a big deal,but i must say it is indeed comedy
    Thanks a bunch Authoress

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