Angel of mine
by Amanda Mofiat
I didn’t know that Emily had so much hatred for my mother. Now that it’s all crystal clear, so many things make sense. After all it wasn’t my mother who pushed her downstairs, you know what hurts the most? That I had to hear everything that she said to her brother, it hurt me more than I could ever had to imagine. All along I really thought that she did get along with her but she had tried to kill my mother twice. And mum? Mum never said anything; she didn’t tell me that she was being abused by Emily. I bet she was scared and didn’t want to create some kind of wedge between us. Right now I honestly don’t know what to do because I am still utterly shocked. I can’t stand in that room with her and rushed outside.
‘Jamal,’ I hear Emily calling out my name but I don’t turn back.
I have to be calm because the anger that is slowly building up in me right now, I might hurt her. I might physically and emotionally hurt Emily. I walk straight to my car and when I am there, I kick the car wheels in a scream, that’s how mad I was at her and at myself. I was so blinded by love that I didn’t know the kind of person I was married to was nothing but a she devil. Honestly had my mother ever done something bad to her? No, my mother has always been a good person I opened the door and got inside the car driving off in high speed. I wanted to be very far away from her, I didn’t want to hear her voice, the things that she said replaying in my mind and chose to raise the volume as I listened to Kiss Daniels-Jaho. It was early in the morning but I wanted something to make me forget, not to feel the pain in my heart.
The pain I was feeling was too much for me to handle. All these years that I have been living with Emily, the promises that I made to her, the vows and how much I loved her only to find out that she had been trying to kill my mother. She poisoned herself and did all sorts of kind of things. Why her? Why Emily when I gave her everything and never made her doubt the love that I had for her? I had so many things running through my mind that I refused to explore the questions and find the answers to those questions. I stepped out of the car and walked inside the bar. I know it’s early but who cares? I know I have never drank whenever I was stressed but this wasn’t time for me to question the Lord. I didn’t want to have a conversation with him, I just didn’t want to feel the pain, I wanted to heal and so I ordered myself a bottle of vodka. The bar tender had to look at me twice, I bet he was surprised to see me so early in the morning having alcohol as breakfast. I was about to pay for the bottle when my phone rang, I didn’t want to answer it because it was Emily calling. I hanged up the phone and switched it off. I poured myself a glass of vodka and when I was about to place it on my mouth, I suddenly stopped. I had never drank whenever I was stressed and I wasn’t going to do this now, I placed the water glass down,
‘I am sorry, can I just have some water,’ I said to him and he didn’t refuse but gave me a bottle of water.
If only I had someone to talk to but because of Emily, I had lost a few friends. She couldn’t let me hang out with them. You see I had tried to show her how badly I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her, I had done so many things just to please her but look where she has taken me? In a bar, a place that I vowed never to step foot in but I am here trying to drown my sorrows in alcohol. I just drank the water and placed my hands on the head. I just sat there and they didn’t tell me to leave, I guess they felt bad for me. I know I look miserable right now and I feel so empty. I suddenly felt a tap on my shoulder and looked aside.
‘How did you find me?’
‘I just guessed,’ he said, ‘can I have what he is having,’ he ordered.
‘This is just water,’ I said to him and he smiled.
He was a good man and maybe he was the right person to talk to but where to begin the story. We just sat quietly for a few minutes; I guess each one of us deep in his own thoughts. The same woman we loved had done this to us.
‘You have known for months right?’
He looked at me.
‘I am sorry.’
‘She is your sister; I know how much you love her.’
‘At least I could have told you the truth, from when she tried to kill your mother, made herself fall and she is the reason why you were admitted. She wanted to poison herself and frame your mother for it. I am so sorry Jamal.’
‘Why are you doing this now? Aren’t you supposed to be defending her?’
‘Jamal, I would never defend someone who is a murderer. Look I love my sister a lot and she means a lot to me but I hate her attitude towards your mother. I am sorry but she really doesn’t deserve to be married to you. Jamal, Emily will never change and the hatred she has towards your mother is on another level. I could have defended her if she never tried to kill her but how many times have she tried to hurt her? Jamal we might have hid this from you with your mother but when you fell into a comma, my sister kicked your mother out of the house.’
‘By that time, she wasn’t recovering from her wounded leg. If it wasn’t for Angela who found your mother half dead, then she could have definitely died. She was in a bad state but Angela saved her life. Not only do you owe her your life but your mother’s life too. I have asked my sister so many times to try and get along with your mother but my sayings have fallen on deaf ears.’
‘Then what should I do? You know how much I love your sister and it’s so easy for me to hate her right now, after what she has done to my mother, I don’t know if I will ever forgive her.’
‘Jamal, I have always seen you as a good man for her. Sometimes I really wished you had married another woman who is not my sister. To be honest with you Mama Maria deserve someone who really care about her, someone who respects her and my sister is far from doing that. Really think deep about this issue, Emily will be discharged tomorrow. For now go home and be with your mother. I wanted to make sure that you are not drinking,’ he said getting up, ‘I have to go back to the hospital.’
‘Ernest, thank you,’ I said to him.
‘You will always be my brother Jamal, always.’
I actually walked out of the bar minutes after Ernest had left. I had to drive home and be with mum. Apologize to her on behalf of my wife. When I got home, I was actually feeling nervous you know, feeling ashamed of myself. I opened the door and mum was sitting on the sofa.
‘Jamal,’ she immediately got up and rushed to me.
She engulfed me into a tight hug and this woman; she is just the best thing that ever happened to me. I can’t believe Emily almost killed her and for what when she was this adorable.
‘I am sorry mum,’ I said as I broke the hug.
‘For what my son.’
‘Everything that happened to you when you were living with us. I can’t believe that my wife used to mistreat you. Mum, I thought that she loved you and I ignored the signs. Mum, I even blamed you for pushing her down the stairs. I don’t know what I was thinking, I am so sorry mum.’
‘Jamal, its okay.’
‘No, it’s not okay mum. Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you let me know that Emily was mistreating you?’
‘Jamal, she is your wife and I always thought that she was going to change.’
‘That will never happen mother. People like Emily don’t change. She wanted to frame you for everything. Mum I thought that she was a good woman; I didn’t know that she was capable of such things. Mum, I should have been aware.’
‘Stop blaming yourself Jamal. Forgive Emily; she did all of this because she loves me.’
‘And yet you are defending her. She doesn’t deserve that from you mother.’
‘I honestly believe that people will change and maybe now she has learnt her lesson. She just lost her first child Jamal and she will never be able to have child again. Just forgive her.’
I wasn’t going to agree with my mother on this one. I loved Emily too much that I couldn’t be with her not after what had just happened. I slept early that day not because I was feeling sleepy but I had so many things to worry about. Ernest even called to check up on me, so thoughtful of him. I kept ignoring my wife’s calls; I wasn’t going to talk to her over the phone. Since she was being discharged the following day, I woke up early and organized a meeting. Some of her uncles were living in Zimbabwe and so I called them to come over at my house. Emily came home and found some of her relatives already at our house. Mum was also there and Emily’s mother as well and not forgetting her brother.
We now sat in the living room.
‘Why are we here Jamal?’ Emily’s mother spoke first.
I looked at my wife and this wasn’t going to be easy for me to say but I had to say it anyway. Throughout the night I had so many things to think about and Emily was indeed a danger to society, I didn’t trust her anymore and if I was heartless, I should have her arrested for attempted murder but I still had a soft spot for her.
‘I am ending my marriage with my wife,’ I said.