A CRY FOR LOVE – PART 31
© Tisa Phiri
Being in prison for over 6 months made me have a real time of reflection and reformation. I had thought through things and was now ready to face life head on without any issues with anyone. I had to let go of Mario. He was surprisingly good with me, he came one day a month after I was imprisoned.
“Hey” he greeted me as I sighed sitting in front of him.
‘Hey” I responded with a smile he smiled back.
“How are you doing?” he asked leaning forward.
“Well am in prison Mario” I chuckled
“I know, am sorry, you will do just fine. I just thought of coming to see you, it’s been weeks and I know this must be hard for you” he went on shaking his head.
“You can’t imagine. I have lost a lot of things, I have lost my time which I could have used on so many things, I have lost my fame as a writer and so many opportunities and above all I have lost you” I smiled sadly. He held my hands and smiled at me.
“am sorry Ketty, I loved you, I really did, but I guess we were not meant to be, I just realized I loved someone else more and my heart could not just refuse her, but now is not the time to talk about that huh..” he paused
“No, it’s okey, we can talk Mario. The thing is we really have not talked like for real and maybe that contributed to what happened, am okey now, I understand, love just happens, it’s not something you plan on and you find yourself deep in it without realizing it. I was wrong to think I could push you to have me when your heart had turned towards another, my cry for love has led me this far and there is nothing that I regret more than my actions the past months, to make matters worse I involved my mother knowing so well what kind of person she is. I hate myself for being like her and now I have come to realise that there is no need to cry or fight for the love that belongs to another” I told him as a matter of fact.
“Well am glad to hear that” he smiled.
“So?” I asked
“What is going on with your Chisomo and the kids” I had asked him.
“I don’t know” he answered clearly whilst shaking his head.
“What does that mean?” I sat up surprised that Chisomo kept her words to me. She had come to see me days after I was jailed and told me she and Mario were not a thing.
“am leaving him and we will not be together Ketty am so sorry for the pain I have caused you and I hope one day, you will come to understand me and forgive me” she had told me and left just like that, I never got to tell her sorry though, all I had felt was shame and guilt for the trouble I caused her.
“Well” Mario started snapping me off the memory of Chisomo.
“She left me, we are not together anymore, in fact we were never really together you know what happened” he sighed shrugging.
“Yeah am sorry, I was a crazy b**** I know, am sorry for that news, I honestly didn’t want you to end up like that after everything that happened. Am so glad I never killed her, she deserves better. So what now?” I asked him.
“Hmm, now I am alone and never intend to date any time soon.” He responded.
“Why? Go after her Mario, don’t tell me I gave you up for nothing, were is the fighting man I knew, the Mario that would never give up on anything?” I let a weak laugh.
“yeah, I cannot fight anymore, you know my mother told me something that got me thinking really hard about my life, she said, love is not something that you would find that easily, yet again, you cannot force it on someone. So yeah, I love her very much if you ask me and I miss her a lot, I would love to see my kids too but I have to let her go, it hurts but it is what she wanted and I am here, waiting, if one day she will come back to me, I will know she was meant for me” he explained the sadness In his voice was evident.
After talking for 20 more minutes he asked me to be strong and use the time in to continue reflecting on my life and continue writing, assuring me I would come out better and my book would be great.
“I might have lost him as a lover, but I knew I could count on him as a friend and that made me so happy. Here I was several months later walking out of Prison my head held up high. I was no longer shamed and my book `A CRY FOR LOVE` was almost done. All I needed was to have a few details added and have it published the moment I settled down.
My mother was waiting for me outside but I didn’t pay attention to her. Did I mention that after all this I made a new friend? Well I deed, Jared, Chisomo`s friend was surprisingly my everyday visitor in prison and he encouraged me so much. He taught me a lot of life lessons and I realized you didn’t have to be rich to be wise and a good friend. He however never got to talk about Chisomo and I wondered what happened to their friendship though I never bothered to ask him.
“Hey!” he hugged me as I approached his small car.
“Hey Jay! Good to see you from this side of the world” I smiled honestly relieved my prison days are over. Thank God the col had his hand in my early release and I could not help feel it was Mario`s doing. Or was it?
“Welcome back to the world Ketty, so where to?” Jay asked me as I looked out the window were my mother was shooting mad eyes at me for asking her to go back to her house.
“Home, I cannot wait to have a fresh and warm bath and wear my clothes” I smiled at Jared he sighed starting the ignition.
Hours later, we sat down on the carpet watching TV.
“its been what? over 6 months since we became friends” he started looking at me.
“Yeah, thank you for being there for me Jay, really I mean it, am so grateful I could have gone crazy without your support, you are a good man you know that? Chisomo was right. “I smiled.
“What did she say?” he asked me with a murmur.
“Well she had at some point told me she had a friend, so matured and hardworking, one who would overwhelm you with wisdom.” I explained recalling the old days when Chisomo and I could talk nicely.
“She did huh?” he sighed
“She is my best friend and I would say the same for her, she only has one weakness though” he shrugged
“Weakness?” I looked at him.
“yes, she trust people easily, she has this thing of saving the world but you know how badly that ends, she has been so much hurt and now she is….” He paused.
“She is what Jay?” I asked sitting up.
“Forget it, am not going to talk about her” he sighed.
“Just tell me please” I begged wanting to know how Chisomo was.
“You are in touch with her huh? “ I asked realizing his silence was forced.
“I can’t talk about her Ketty am sorry” Jay stood up walking to the window.
“Trust me Jay, am not going to hurt her, neither will my mother, all that is over and I have moved on you know that, I have you now and…” I could not finish my sentence and he looked at me sharply turning.
“Me? You have me?” he asked.
“Yes, I mean as a friend of course” I cleared my throat and his muscular hands landed on my shoulders,
“Well I need you to be more than that Ketty, I like you a lot and… “ he paused.
“Jay don’t tell me you have feelings for me?” I asked him.
“What if I do?”
“Well” I responded failing to respond directly, he made me feel uncomfortable I swallowed hard.
“I like you a lot and I am asking you to be my woman, I know you still love Mario and I may not be that kind of guy for you, but you know how it is, the heart wants what it wants” he shrugged. I looked at his sincere eyes, his thick dark lips moving as he spoke and I could not help like him, he was so handsome who would care about class, he was the man I would easily live with and he was good to me. Without further hesitation I pulled his head down and landed a kiss on his lips he immediately lifted me up like I was a piece of paper, wrapped his strong hands around me as I settled on his torsos and kissed me passionately.
“Wow!” I exclaimed as he paused looking into my eyes.
“What?” he asked smiling.
“You are so damn good at kissing you know that?” I chuckled and he laughed turning me around without showing any sign of tiredness to set me down.
“You are too soft and sweet too, just perfect for me, with your craziness, your beauty, your caliber, I still fall in love with you. I think it’s possible to love again you know” he smiled kissing my neck I giggled as he teased me with his tongue.
“yeah, now I know, I thought Mario was being a joke but now I understand he was right, he loved me but we were not just meant to be, glad I met you my hero, you are my knight who rescued me from the prison tower, and…” I could not say anymore he pulled me closer making my heart race as he kissed me with so much gentleness.
Well, funny the turnout of things, I was fighting for a love that was never meant for me, yet mine awaited patiently. Weeks past and we were together happier and always together. He never wanted so much to sleep in my house saying he was the man and thereby I had to be in his house. I never minded his small home, all I knew was it brought me so much love and happiness. His ex-girlfriend tried to create some drama but Jay stood by me clearly defining to her I was his now and never was he going back to her.
“I love you” I told him one day as he lay down his bed. It was the first time I was ever saying it and I meant it.
“Really?” he smiled
“Yes Jay I never knew I could fall in love again this much, but now I cannot contain it. I love you” I repeated my words and he sat up lifting me to sit facing him.
“Well Ketty, I don’t love you” he paused shaking me.
“What? This Guy was faking it and playing games with me?” I asked myself looking at him.
“You are the one for me, I need you, I sleep thinking about you, I cannot work a day without talking about you and everything I do, I do it for you over the weeks. So no, that is not love, it is beyond that, you are mine and today now that am sure you love me back, I want to ask you to be mine forever!” he smiled and I cried out with tears of Joy, he was so sweat. He pushed his hand in his trousers and brought out a ring, it was not that expensive but I loved it even before he could ask the question.
“I have carried this ring in my pockets since the day Chisomo told me to go after you, I wanted so much to have you as my wife and now that I know we feel the same towards each other, will you marry me?” he asked the question I could not stand his being so nice and romantic. I stood up and run outside crying like a child.
“What is wrong?” he asked holding me from my back some neighbors watching us.
“i.. I don’t know, this is too much Jay, how can I find this much love after all I have done? You told me about Chisomo and her hand in my release and her pushing you to come to me when she discovered what you felt for me, now she is alone and am here happy with you”
He looked at me, shook his head and smiled.
“Well, I will take you to her, she already knows my intentions and trust me, she thinks you are a good person and deserve to be happy” he pulled me closer pushing the ring on my finger even before I could say yes.
“Yes, I will marry you Jared” I shouted and like was his trend he lifted me up and took me inside.
“Thank you Jesus” I looked up the ceiling as we lay down.
To be continued