Hidden Dream – Episode 22
A Story By Tisa Phiri
2 years later…..
I was rushing for a meeting when the call came from Zambia. ” Hey dad” I responded as I got into the vehicle.
” hey son, your mother and I were thinking about the issue of Blessings. We still feel she’s still young. Won’t you reconsider the decision to come and get her. Let her stay here a little bit longer. Your mother and i will make sure she’s okey here.”
” oh dad, am sorry. I know you all have grown fond of Blessings but I think its high time I live with her too. I miss her so much and seeing her after a long time is not doing me any good. I need my daughter with me. Am sure I can learn to take care of her. Besides am no longer that busy here. ” i argued.
My parents had convinced me after Angela died that they would keep Blessings for some time until I was stable and wasn’t mourning any more .
Angela’s death left me broken. I remember the day she died. I was dragged to the car out side and was taken home. I however insisted I went to where the funeral was held, that was her brother’s house. He had shifted to a different house within Avondale.
When I got there he was the one who welcomed me. Encouraging me to be strong.
I wondered why everyone wanted me to be strong. I felt so weak. I shut my ears so that I wouldn’t hear what people were saying.
I went to her room and held her clothes close. Wishing for a moment someone would tell me it was all a dream and I would wake up and find her by my side.
I closed my eyes as the tears run down my face. ” I miss you so much my love, I miss you and it’s only been a day. What am I going to do after several days?” I cried laying in her bed and inhaling her scent.
I paced around her room and looked at her things. Then came across her small diary. Without hesitation I grabbed it and went to sit on the bed.
I flipped through the pages and went to 20th January,2011. And it read.
Today was a great day. My students are catching up on the new steps and am so proud of them.
I saw a man, oh No, a boy Today, he was so handsome I couldn’t stop looking at him. Anyway he’s just a student.
What a day this was. I don’t know What is wrong with me. I talked to Jared Zimba the boy who looked like he was fighting to join the dance group. I know he wants to. But my fear is that my heart races everytime I see him.
Any way I hope he joins the group soon. I can’t wait to see him explore his hidden talent. Something tells me he’s going to make a great dancer.
I slipped though the next pages and saw the last one.
Am so much in pain. I feel like my heart is being pulled out of my chest.
Oh how I wish I had the courage to call my love Jay and tell him what am going through. But I can’t. Why should I cut his dream short.? I have to let him me finish what he’s doing so that his life can change for good. I know he will go through a lot of pain but i just pray he will learn to live without me.
I couldn’t go on reading the diary. I put it away and lay in her bed. I was awakened the following day.
” It’s time for burial. If you will come along we must be starting off now” her brother told me.
” Angela will be happy if you stood straight for your child and for yourself.” He added sitting next to me.
” yeah I sighed wiping my eyes. I was still feeling sleepy even after sleeping for over 5 hours.
My father had brought me clothes to change as I had not moved out of the clothes I wore the time she died.
After a few minutes I changed into a black shirt and trousers. I had to place some dark sheds on my eyes. I couldn’t have everyone notice how I would shed tears at the burial site. I had to say bye to her and so after everyone left I remained behind and talked to her. Hoping with everything, she would hear me.
” I miss you Angela. And honestly I don’t know how to live without you. It was easy when you went quite because I knew you were still here somehow. But now that you have left me forever I don’t seem to know the way out.
I wish you were here to even scold me for crying like a child” I chuckled kneeling besides her grave.
” I thought I would come here to say good bye but I can’t yet. Am not ready to let you go my love. See you soon cause right now I have no words to tell you my heart is bleeding” I had frowned and left.
After a week I had not moved out a lot. Some media reporters had approached me for some interviews but I wasn’t ready to face them.
The video of Angela and I dancing was all over the social meIda. With comments such as,
” World ballroom dancer’s lover dies”
” The Amazing last Dance”
” Jay the Zambian Dancer mourns lover”
With lots of encouragement I started feeling better.
I recall when I talked to aunty Nelly.
” Jay I know and understand your pain. When I lost my son I had gone through a very rough patch in my life. I thought I would never forget the pain. But I can assure you God will find a way of comforting you. I believe everything happens for a purpose my son. Every human being was created for a purpose and maybe its high time you started looking at it in the way that Angela’ s purpose in life came to an end.” She explained sitting with me in the garden.
” but what purpose aunty Nelly.? She was still young and had a whole life ahead of her. Some people live for 90 or even 100 years. Why should her own life be shorter?” I frowned.
” well my son we can not question God now can we? . He gave and now has taken we have no right to question his deeds for he is God. He knows better and am sure he will make you fall in love again and just then you will understand what the purpose of Angela was.”
I looked at her. She spoke so well but like they say it’s easier said than done.
I didn’t feel i was going to fall in love again. I had loved and now I had to go through the pain of losing her. My mind told me it wasn’t possible to love again and I was okey with it.
My baby was all I had to love. Even when my parents talked me out of getting her to Paris, I painfully agreed only wanting her to have the motherly care before she could grow a little bit order. I knew with Aunty Nelly around she was going to be okey.
After 2 months of being in Zambia I decided to go back to Paris. I had to keep the promise I made to Angela. So I decided to take up the offers I had and started performing again.
Well, people were right. I never thought I would live without Angela but with time the pain become easier. At least I would mention her name without tears.
I missed her lots of course but I fought hard to forge ahead. She was my love and she would always be. No matter what. All I had to do is live my dream and I knew she was going to be proud of me.
I was lost in thoughts when I drove into the park. I had a few minutes before the meeting. I quickly grabbed my small file and walked towards the building.
” hey hold It!” I shouted.
The elevator was almost closing. I had to get in and I saw a lady hold it for me.
” thank You” I smiled at her.
” you are welcome Mr Jared!” She smiled back and I turned to look at her.
” well, I know who you are. You are my favourite dancer I don’t miss your shows” she smiled like to answer my question.
” oh yeah, thank you” I responded.
” so late for a meeting?” She asked pointing at my file.
” Yeah, imagine I have to sign some contracts but I was held up in traffic. Busy day” I shrugged.
” nice to meet you lady” I smiled as I got to the floor I was going to.
” My pleasure. My name is Annie Bwalya” she smiled.
” oh Wow, you are Zambian” I sighed
” Of course, born and bred. I just came here for work” she added
” great , see you around Ms Bwalya” I smiled and walked on.
A week later I booked the flight to Zambia. I had to go and pick my daughter. All had been arranged. I found a school for her and I planned on getting Aunty Nelly to come live with us. She’s the one I was trusting to help raise my daughter. All I needed was to convince her.
Beverly and i had not been as close after i returned. I was actually glad she had found a guy she fall in love with. Relieving me of the guilty of using her before. She was a nice person and I knew she derseved better. She was a hard working assistant and i knew I could depend on her for anything to do with work.
” Hello! We meet again!” I heard a familiar voice.
I turned to look at the direction of the voice and saw her sitting next to were I was heading to.
” Hey Annie Right?” I greeted her.
” a good memory you have there !” She smiled cheerfully.
I sat next to her. ” going home?” She asked
” yeah am going to get my daughter I want her close to me ” I nodded.
” well that’s great. Am sorry I saw the sad news on the media. It must be hard to lose your loved one.”
” Yeah, it is. ” i sighed
” what about You? Where to? Home? ” I asked trying not to stay on the story of my lose.
” yeah, my parents are celebrating their 40 th anniversary. So I had to go you know, celebrate with them. All my sister’s and brothers are going.”
” mmmh that’s great 40 years.. Wow! Am impressed. Say my congratulations to them” I chuckled.
We talked almost the whole way. She was easy to talk to. She told me she was a nurse working in one of the hospitals in Paris. She had graduated from UTH in Zambia about 3 years back.
Her parents were both retired. Her mother was a nurse too and her father a Doctor.
She asked a lot of questions about me but I loved the fact she was very sensitive and avoided some more personal questions.
I realised she loved seeing people dance but she laughed as she told me she had always wanted to dance.
” I would love to learn more about dancing. I wouldn’t mind knowing some few moves. I think there’s more to dancing than people see. It just gives me so much pleasure seeing people happy when they dance” she smiled.
Her last words reminding me so much of the way Angela used to say them.
I looked at her and smiled.
” what? ” She asked shrugging.
” Nothing, I like your way of thought about Dancing ” I sat back smiling.
To be continued