Opana - The Coffin Maker

Opana – Episode 75

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Opana – Episode 74

© Akoto Alexander

In the Car:

Karl Simpson: Junior so why were you looking at the lady you took her her number seductively like that?

The Boss: Oh so I was not the only one who noticed that awkward behaviour inside there, I was wondering what he was thinking even.

Albert: Dad I think am in love again, the beauty of the lady, her big boobs and how she talked alone got me mesmerized and I wanted to pounce on her. I wanted her to be in my arms……….

The Boss: (cuts in) Will you shut that dust bin you call your mouth. We went there for a mission and you decided to mix business with pleasure, are you alright up there?

Albert: But dad you always say am growing and I need to settle down with a woman so I can give you grandchildren before you join your ancestors, now tell me the wrong I did?

The Boss: You did everything wrong, so aside all the beautiful girls you see daily, it’s only this lady who caught your fantasy huh? Karl are you sure this fool is really my son or the midwife at the hospital exchanged my child with someone the night my late wife gave birth?

Karl Simpson: Of course junior is your biological son, can’t you see the resemblance you both have on your face, nose, ears and your bright eyes. He is no doubt your blood and heir to all your properties.

The Boss: Don’t forget when someone stays with you for long they develop some resemblance. You know if you were a bit dark people will see you like my biological brother. This boy over here always give me reason to doubt if truly he is my real son and if he can handle my companies in my absence. I don’t want to lose any of my businesses through his negligence or foolishness. He knew we went there for serious business and yet he was mixing pleasure with serious business.

Albert: Dad how you scream and bark at me most at times, I simply don’t like it. In as much as I have fallen for that lady, I was equally drawing a plan on how to nab or pin Julia down. You and I know that we don’t want anyone to suspect us from having a hand in her death, now getting to the house per my calculations it’s only the two ladies and that guy we never saw that live in the house. If I manage to take this one out of the house through a date won’t we get access to Julia? She is bereaved and wouldn’t like to be going out for sometime, the guy I also believe wouldn’t be staying in the house much often because of the ladies he finds himself with.

Karl Simpson: I think junior has made a clever statement that if we think it through and master his plans well we would do a clean mission without any suspicion. I am with junior this time around.

The Boss: So you mean you have bought into the idea of my son?

Karl Simpson: I thought a while ago you were doubting the credibility of junior being your son, now that he has brought up a brilliant idea he has immediately turned into you son again. You never seize to amaze me Alberto, I don’t think we can do our mission this Friday, I think the best time to strike is Saturday after the funeral.

The Boss: Well we will think about that when we get home.

At the House Behind Julia Cousin’s House:

Michael Ansah: (praying to God) Father God you didn’t bring me this far for me to be devoured by some hungry dogs. God I know you have bigger and better plans for me so please don’t let me be the supper for this dogs this late afternoon, I trust in your miracles and I know you will not allow this dogs to feast on my body in Jesus name I pray. (a gunshot is fired into the air and the dogs barking becomes quite whiles they shake their tails)

House Owner: You thief, you think I would be out of this house for you to come and rob me again huh? You thought you will have your way today too? As the saying goes “everyday for the thief, one day for the owner”, I can kill you now but first I will have to listen to your story as to who sent you here. Before you speak, I will entreat you to select your words carefully because they might be your last words and the stupid mistake you do or the slip of tongue from your mouth will inform my decision whether to pull the trigger or whether I should hand you over to the police. I don’t have to remember you that you entered my house not through my gates but over my wall.

Michael Ansah: (plays smart) Sir please am not a thief, I jumped into your compound because I came to get my expensive ring which had fallen down from your wall to your backyard. I swear I placed my ring on the wall when I was washing my hands, after I was done and wanted to take it my hand pushed it and it fell in your house. Sir I am not a thief or bad person, you can check from the next house if they don’t know me.

House Owner’s Daughter: Daddy I have called the police station and the station master said he has despatched a patrol team to come over right now. They should be here any moment from now.

House Owner: Very good Serwah, now you thief when the police gets here you can tell them your fabricated story and see how they will give you some romantic slaps.

(Mike touches his pockets to see if his phone is in his pocket so he can call Maame Dufie to come over)

House Owner: My friend raise your hands up before I pull the trigger and end your stealing career for you.

Maame Dufie’s Hall:

Julia: Ah so what at all is Mike eating that he is still in the kitchen?

Maame Dufie: Let me check inside and see why he has been there for long. (walks to the kitchen)

Julia: (sees the call card in Dufie’s hand) And whose call card do you have in your hand?

Maame Dufie: (checks the kitchen) Your boss son gave it to me, he initially wanted my number but I told him to give me his rather so I call him. Ah Mike is not in the kitchen oooo, the backdoor is opened so I guess he will be somewhere on the compound.

Julia: Hmmm that rude and insolent guy wants your number you said, I guess you know his reason for asking you of your number or giving his call card to you.

Maame Dufie: Am I a child? He thinks he is my type of man huh? Well I know how to treat people of his type so don’t worry at all.

Julia: You be there, by the time you will realise he will be done crucifying you on his bed. So Mike too if we waited for him to come and seat in our discussion we would have still be waiting for him. He will come and meet me here when he returns. Where from that loud siren blaring in the air, are they not aware this is an estate?

Maame Dufie: The man who stays behind our house is a former commisioner of police and is retired now so I guess it’s some of his men who are checking up on him.

Julia: It still doesn’t make sense, if they are checking up on their former boss does it warrant them to make noise and disturb the peace of the people living around here. You can’t do this in the States you know.

Maame Dufie: Well don’t forget you are in Ghana and Africa to be precise, the police claim they are the law so we dare not question their authority.

Julia: This nonsense must stop, I will see that man and register my displeasure to him so he tells his men to turn their loud siren off when they enter this estate. He can’t use his funk to spoil some of us reggae, it seems another car is even coming to pass and I think this is the time I speak with the man.

Maame Dufie: This is strange, never has two police cars passed here to visit the man with their sirens on. I think something must be wrong and I will go out there and check what the problem is. (walks out check what the problem is)

In the Next House:

Inspector: (salutes before talking) Good evening sir, we are here in respect to the tip off we got from the police station, we were told a thief had found his way into you compound.

House Owner: That is true inspector, I have handcuffed him behind the house. You can go for him and send him to the station, I will come and write my statement tomorrow morning.

Inspector: Okay sir, corporal you and the two constables should go and get the thief at the back, if he tries to struggle with you guys, you know what to do to him.

At Opana’s Hall:

Opana: (talking to himself) Ah this dress is perfect for my mission friday dawn, all black dress, canvas and a black mask to match. The wood suppliers have also assured me of making delivery this friday, life is going to be good very soon. I can seat and cross my legs as I count my money and profits, Kofi Ansah popularly known as Opana the rough man, too much wisdom will kill me in my old days. The unknown ninja is in town and soon everyone in this village who has refused to connect a pipe into his house will get a piece of my national gift, the bible says the hands that doesn’t work shouldn’t eat so am making myself useful to the society because if Mohammed fells so big to go to the mountain, the mountain has decided to pay Mohammed a visit in his house. You people have decided not to die so I will give you a free visa and ticket to the land of death.

At the Hotel in the States:

Akua Yankey: Bernice I hope you have gotten everything of yours packed in your bag especially your medicine?

Bernice Ansah: That was the first thing I placed in my bag before the rest of my things were packed in.

Akua Yankey: That is very good, now we are waiting for the airline to get us seats when the doctor calls them. The last dollar notes I have left will be used for shopping tonight because Ghanaians always want gifts when they get to know that you travelled outside and by now I know we are the talk of town for now. I will display my American walking styles for them to know that she Opana is back from the land of honey and milk.

Bernice Ansah: You always have a funny way of making me smile mummy, I hope we will get the ticket early so that we travel back to Ghana. I feel pains in the stitches when the weather becomes cold.

Akua Yankey: Sorry about that my expensive jewel, I will boil hot water for you right now so you use it to press the wounds. All this will be over soon so please endure it for now. (doorbell rings and Bernice goes to check who is behind the door)

Delivery Man: (smiles) Hello please are you madam A.kuua Yankey?

Bernice Ansah: Its mentioned as Akua Yankey and not the funny way you pronounced it, well she is my mother so what can I do for you?

Delivery Man: I am a courier service man who does deliveries for companies an airline company sent me to deliver this envelope to madam Yankey so please call her for me and please tell her to get her identification card when coming so that she signs my delivery book for me then I hand her parcel to her.

Bernice Ansah: Okay excuse me so I get her for you. (shuts the door and goes inside to relate the information to her mum)

Akua Yankey: (pops up with her purse and pulls out her national identification card) Youngman this is my identification card so where do I sign?

Delivery Man: Please sign close to where your name has been written and when you are done I will give you your delivery receipt then your package.

Akua Yankey: (does all she is told and her parcel and receipt is handed over to her, she then tells the guy to wait and searches through her purse) Mmmmm youngman because of your humbleness and humility take this small token, I wanted to give you dollars but am out of dollar notes so take this, it is ten Ghana cedis made up of two five cedis note, this currency is one of the powerful notes in Africa and when you change it, you will get a lot of dollars depending on your currency exchange rates. Have a nice day.

Delivery Man: (looks at the money for sometime before putting it in his pocket) Thank you very much madam for this gesture, I really appreciate it. (walks away)

Bernice Ansah: Haaaaba, but mummy you know that money is not used her in the States so why did you give it to the youngman?

Akua Yankey: Hold it there young woman, you are not proud of your own erh, don’t they give us dollars to go and change when they are giving us money in Ghana? What is my crime giving him Ghana money to also go and change, he was lucky I didn’t even ask him to give me a change in dollars when I gave him the cedi notes. Where were you when they brought sugar cane and mirror to take many of our gallant men and beautiful grandparents?

Bernice Ansah: Please the history lecture is enough madam Opana, so what do we have in the envelope?

Akua Yankey: I think it’s our plane tickets so let me rush and go out for our last shopping before we leave this beautiful country. The date on it is Friday and the time for take off is in the evening which means we will get to Accra in the morning. I will call your elder brother to meet us at the airport, for your father I would love for us to surprise him so I will tell your brother not to inform him when I call him. Hurry up with your wound treatment so we step out for our shopping.

Back in Ghana; Maame Dufie’s Neighbours Compound:

Michael Ansah: Officers please take it easy, am not a criminal or thief, you can ask from the house behind this house if am not from there. I only jumped to this compound to get my ring that had fallen there.

Corporal: Youngman it will be better to shut your mouth because anything you say can and will be used against you in the court of law. Where on your finger is any ring you claim it fell in this compound? You will have the right to an attorney if only you can even pay for his or her service when we get to the station, you think it’s everywhere you can find success in your illicit acts? You are lucky the commissioner didn’t blow your stupid head off, now constables get him out of my sight

House Owner: Inspector if not for the vigilance of my dogs this criminal would have entered into my house through the backdoor because it was widely opened. My eldest son had sent me pounds steerling to complete his building for him and I had left the money on the dining table to go and have a little nap, infact if he succeeded in entering the house the first place he could come across is the dining hall area and he would havd absconded with the money and my three other phones which were on the same table. Hmmmm drill and deal with him when you get to the station so he tells you who sent him or who he is working with? We have to sanitize the system where all criminals will be flushed from the system, I have trust in the new regional commander because I know he is an action man, I will be at the station tomorrow morning.

Inspector: Okay sir, permission to carry on sir.

House Owner: Permission granted my gallant inspector, your exuberance has reminded me of my hays. My regards to your station commander.

Mike is pushed into the police car and they took off, as they passed by the gate of Maame Dufie’s house, Dufie saw Mike in handcuffs inside the police car and Mike also screams for Dufie to see it was him being taken away………

To be continued


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  1. Mike too, it's high time you changed tour location from that area. I want to believe that Accra is big city. Thanks man, next pls.

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