Opana - The Coffin Maker

Opana – Episode 58

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Opana – Episode 58

© Akoto Alexander

Kwaku Mike later returns with food and drinks and he served Quincy as they ate and work. After some shuffling and scrutinizing of pictures they settled on some pictures and decided to create some social media handles and upload them there. Quincy connected the hotspot on his phone to his laptop and within some few minutes he had successfully created a Facebook fanpage and Instagram handle, as he did that Mike also worked on the logo they were going to use as their trademark and as Quincy checked the design Mike came up with, he was really impressed so they worked on the pictures they wanted to upload on their social media handles, as Mike added their logo and contact details to the pictures. Shortly after Quincy successfully uploaded the first ten pictures on their instagram page a lady called to book an appointment with them the next day so they talk business. Within 40minutes they had gotten over 200 likes and people were sending them messages as to where thier studio could be located and this alone gave them the impression that they were going to go far with their choosen career. Mike called Julia to break the good news to her and show her how grateful he was with the sophisticated machines she bought for him.

On Phone:

Julia: (in a very depressed tone) Hi Mickey how are you doing? It’s good you called because I was thinking of calling you earlier on.

Michael : Hey darling, am very fine but I don’t like the way your voice is sounding. Is everything okay at your end?

Julia: Nothing is fine over here Mickey, I thought I was coming to Ghana to enjoy some quality time with my loved ones but it seems I rather built castles in the air.

Michael : Take it easy with what you want to tell me because am not being able to decode what you are saying.

Julia: Why would I be okay when you and my boss have decided to push me into my early grave like that?

Michael : (in a calm tone) Am lost with the words that just came out of your mouth, can you please speak in a plain language for me to understand you properly. I only called you to break the good news and magic that your gadgets has started performing.

Julia: Well am glad am getting some positive remarks from you, honestly you are the first person to give me a positive feedback for the gesture I did towards you. All my life I have been surrounded by ungrateful people and so I decided not to do any favours to anyone again but your positive remarks has given me a reason not to turn that chapter in my life.

Michael : Ah am very glad that my testimony will also give some other person the opportunity to see the very good side of you. But hey your voice isn’t sounding pleasing to me at all, you are sounding like a broken record.

Julia: Am sounding that way because I am feeling very bored and lonely. Honestly the spider is really trying because they are the only creatures God created that never walk in two’s.

Michael : Really? You are teaching me something new today my dear, my father always says that it’s not only the classroom that we learn in life and I understood that statement better when I grew up.

Julia: He is very right Mickey but am surprise you never knew spiders never walk in two’s. For them anytime two spiders meet there will be a fight which will lead to the loser’s death and the winner takes the spider web as the consolation price even if the web was built by the loser. Mickey can we hang out this evening at a pizza joint?

Michael : I think am okay with your suggestion since that place is a neutral ground and I hope that stupid bodyguard will not come and interfere in our hangout but can I come along with Quincy?

Julia: Nah, three is always a crowd. We will hangout with him some other time but not this evening, we will get him some pizza when you are going back home. I hope you are okay with that, please since I am new in town kindly choose the location or venue we will hangout and text me the address to the place and I will be there in no time.

Michael : Oh okay, I will update you very soon with the address so don’t worry your pretty head on that and see you soon.

Julia: Very well then Mickey, please extend my greetings to Quincy and tell him, he will see me soon and I owe him big time (call ends)

Quincy: Burger what dey go on?

Michael : (starts singing) I have a feeling that tonight is gonna be a good night, tonight is gonna be a good good night. My guy I have a date with Julia at a pizza joint and she said I should choose the venue and text her the location of the place but I don’t have anywhere in mind as at now.

Quincy: John boy, are you trying to tell me that you don’t know any nice pizza joint in town? Well there is Pizza Hut at the mall, Eddy’s Pizza at Ringroad Central, Dansoman, Spintex and East Legon, another pizza joint that can be found in the mall is Papa’s Pizza. I have given you the names of the best pizza joint and their respective locations, you can now select from the list I gave you and hope you will get some for me when coming back because three is always a crowd.

Michael : Surprisingly she also made the same comment about three been a crowd. It seems you two are thinking alike and you guys have the same motive.

Quincy: See who is talking about motive, well are you coming back home or you will pass the night at her expensive suite this evening?

Michael : Herh so you think I don’t love my life erh, after what happened the other night you want me to go back to that place, my guy you are wicked and don’t want me well. I now know your true colours and am suspecting you as one of the people who want my untimely death.

Quincy: My friend don’t be silly, why on earth will you pronounce me a wicked person? I only asked a harmless question which would inform my decision if I should import Maabena Boaduwaa over here into my web or not.

Michael : Mmmm I see your mind now but am sorry am going to disappoint you because none of us will sleep with a woman or behind him.

Quincy: Enemy of progress, because I find myself in a horny mood you are calling yourself a saint. See hurry up and f**k this Julia girl before the veil you have covered her face with is taken from her face.

Michael : Did you just say I have covered her face with a veil? Are you the one I sent to do that evil thing? Massa respect yourself before I change my mind on you, you are very annoying if you dont know then I just informed you about it.

Quincy: You be there and act like a castrated dog, by the time you realise the truth you will come and lament to me and that is when I will slap you with my torn boxer shorts for you to come back to your stupid self. You young guys of today don’t like pastors who preach salvation but rather those end time prophets who preach and prophesy that you will get money and travel abroad.

Michael : Thank you salvation preacher now can I go in and shower? I don’t intend to stay out late.

Quincy: My friend delay a bit or betterstill pass the night outside, I want to invite Maabena over. My blood is very hot and I want her to come and calm my nerves down.

Michael : (touches Quincy’s forehead) I cast the spirit of fornication out of you and repent from your evil ways for God to have mercy on you. (walks to the shower)

Quincy: You are very annoying and crazy wai, if you return before 10pm, bear in mind that you will have to stand behind the door. You won’t spoil my funk with your reggae at all. By the time you return I will be done with all the pictures editing and uploading.

At Boss Mansion:

Albert: Ginola have you and your boys been able to gather any information so far?

Ginola: Not yet junior boss but I and my boys are combing every part of the city to fish this guy out for you. I don’t want us to do any mistake with our search.

Albert: If you haven’t gotten any info for me then why are you here in my room?

Ginola: Your father asked me to summon you to his presence, he is seated in the garden outside and he said you should stop anything you are doing and join him right away because he will be stepping out very soon.

Albert: Tell him I will be there very soon, I was about to take a shower before you came in so get going now.

Ginola: Junior boss you know how difficult your father is, please kindly postpond your bathing for now before your father screams this house down with his anger.

Albert: So are you now my advisor who gives me advice and ideas as to what I should do in my own father’s house? Get out from my room before I loose my cool on you, idiot.

Ginola: (steps out from Albert’s room whiles he talks to himself) This stupid work if I don’t resign very early and go back to my landguard work I will end up killing this man and his disrespectful son together and nothing will happen here. Nothing pains me much like the way this spoilt brat talks to me, well its because of his stupid father’s money that is why I am still here if not ah but one day one day the monkey will go to the market and will never return.

Boss: Youngman, where is my son? I remember I told you to come with him to me.

Ginola: Boss he was in the bathroom when I entered his room and you know very well that your son enjoys his privacy very much, I couldn’t wait in his room since he will be mad at me and I felt it very necessary to come back and give you a situation report of things.

Boss: I think you did the right thing, go back and wait for him outside his room so you come back with him and tell the senior maid to get me a glass of juice.

Ginola: Boss please do you want a chilled juice or the one that has not been put in the fridge yet?

Boss: I think the nonchilled juice will do for me and tell my son to hurry up because I have to step out very soon for an important meeting with a new partner.

Ginola: Okay boss, I will be right back with my junior boss.

Boss: Mmmm also tell the drivers to get the V8 cars started because am going out with the three V8 cars.

Opana’s Workshop:

Opana: You people have kept long with the plaining of that wood. You guys must learn to expedite things when you have been given a time frame to work, hurry up so I close my shop because tomorrow is going be a very busy day.

Senior Apprentice: Master for some days now you haven’t given us anything as a form of motivation or upkeep.

Opana: Drinking master, you want motivation from me in a form of money so you drink yourself to stupor huh? What benefit do I derive from you fools in the first place, how much money did you people contribute for me when this place got burnt some days ago? See let me enlighten you guys for you to get something into you stupid heads, from now till further notice I have stopped giving you people money till I recover from all the money I lost when this shop got burnt.

Senior Apprentice: Master but you know this desicion of yours is not fair and what we do with the small money you give us doesn’t concern you because when you push an old woman where she falls is not your business.

Opana: May the spirits of this land twist you neck for thunder to fire your youth mouth, you call my money small and yet you want it. See the game ends when the fool becomes wise and I don’t remember asking for your opinion on the statement I made and whoever is not pleased with decision can quit and stop being my apprentice because most of you here are liabilities to my workshop. Now I want quality but not quantity so hence forth am going to be very hard on you people so you should fasten your seatbelts because the road is going to be rough.

2nd Apprentice: Master please temper justice with mercy because for some of us, that “small” money you give to us helps us to survive on this earth, I beg of you to reconsider your decision.

Opana: It seems you are the only wise person amongst my apprentices but unfortunately for you this time around I have taken my decision already and nothing will change it for now. Start packing and locking up my shop for me and let me throw this caution to you people that hence forth anyone who steps into this shop after me, that person has indirectedly sacked himself from my shop. Do I make myself clear?

All Apprentice: (in a chorus voice) It is very loud and clear master Opana.

Opana: Good I will see you people tomorrow and before I forget, I don’t trust anyone of you here so if anything happens to the money that man gave to me for his mother’s coffin I will get all of you arrested for life. (walks away from the workshop)

2nd Apprentice: (confronts the senior apprentice) See what you have caused now, did you have to ask master for that money?

Senior Apprentice: Don’t bring yourself you fool, if he gave us the money wouldn’t you have collected your share?

2nd Apprentice: Massa cut that crap and shut that smelling gutter you call your mouth, are you the one who always reminds boss to give us money? Now that he has vowed not to give us money again we shall see where you will get money to buy that stupid mixed akpeteshi you have been drinking. I don’t know if you even have a mirror in your room like you will see that the alcohol is having a negative effect on your personality, if those silly girls are scared to tell you, you have started buying permming cream on your hair and eczema is taking part of your goat face.

Senior Apprentice: I will slap you if you talk to me that way you fool.

2nd Apprentice: Try anything silly and you will love the way I will discipline you here. I will beat you like a father and son affair

Senior Apprentice: I have seen your plan and I swear to God that I won’t fall for your cheap gimmick, I won’t further talk so you get the opportunity to raise your filty hand on me.

2nd Apprentice: Freedom run, it’s good you have seen the plans I had instock for you. Next time try me and you will smell what Opana is cooking.

Senior Apprentice: Go and tell whoever sent you that you have woefully failed, I refuse to succumb to your antics. Am out of here you evil people, if anything happens here I wasn’t here in the first place.

Quincy’s Room:

On Phone:

Quincy: So Maabena are you still mad at me because of Mike?

Maabena Boaduwaa: Why are you calling me Quincy? I gave you two options to choose from and you chose Mike over me, so I will entreat you to be with him and stop disturbing me if you are not going to do as I say.

Quincy: My first lady and heartbeat why are you sounding this very hostile towards Mike this way, is there anything that he has done to you or anything I need to know because the way you are behaving I don’t get you my queen and heartbeat.

Maabena Boaduwaa: Mike has not done anything to me but I just need privacy in my relationship with my man and since he is not willing to grant my heart desire, I just have to advice myself and move on with my life.

Quincy: My love, my queen, my sunshine, my morning star, my lucky stag, my priceless jewel, my first lady, my baby, my love, my diamond out of stones, my all in one, my…..

Maabena Boaduwaa: (cuts in quickly) Stop it Quincy, you know I like it when you rain accolades on me. Why are you trying to turn me on right now even though am not in the mood to have you inside me until you have granted my wish.

Quincy: (seeing there is hope for him) My love cool down, see Mike is a out of town as we speak and he won’t be coming over anytime soon so why don’t you pass by so I give you some queenly treatment. You know what I mean my love as the weather is very conducive for such treats.

Maabena Boaduwaa: You erh you are my biggest destruction and my greatest seductive pill. Am coming over right away and make sure you are well prepared for me because I have missed the way you handle and do me right.

Quincy: That’s my girl, you don’t know what I have instock for you my sweetheart. Tonight you will feel an ache down there.

Maabena Boaduwaa: I love it when you talk naughty my baby boy, please don’t be gentle with me when I come over because I want it rough and hard inside me since it’s been a while you gave it to me. Mike has been a stumbling block between my happiness and womanhood recently. I will be there in a jiffy my king, see you soon (cuts call)

Quincy: (talks to himself) Ah I know my goat, after all this muscle flexing and bragging are you not the one who is asking for me not to be gentle with you when you come over? You women of today don’t like to be told the truth so what do you expect from we the men? My friend don’t give me that stern look because you are not a saint more than me, even Jacob, Abraham and the good people in the bible told a lie one way or the other. I have to get dandelion, bitter leaf and ginger juice to drink before this girl gets here because from the way she spoke she is going to erupt on me like a volcanic eruption and if I don’t get a back up I might disgrace myself infront of her. Also I have to call Mike and find out if he will come back to the house tonight or not.

PIZZA HUT:

Julia: Mmmmmm I love this place even though am yet to taste the pizza this people serve over here, Ghana has really developed in a very short time.

Michael : Well am glad you like this place but hey we are also doing our best to counter the Western world boot for boot, very soon we will rock shoulders with the whites and I believe you are also aware that now we produce our own cars in this country?

Julia: You don’t mean it Mickey, has Ford, GMC or Chevrolet decided to erect some of their assembling warehouses in Ghana now?

Michael : Did you just say Ford, GMC or Chevrolet? Far from that my dear, the producer of the cars in question is 100% Ghanaian who has never travelled outside the country before to learn anything about automobile manufacturing. He is in the person of Apostle Engineer Doctor Kwadjo Safo Kantanka and his trademark is Great Kosa Vision and his cars are Kantaka Automobile which ranges from SUV, Pick-up, Saloon and a whole lot.

Julia: Wooow I hope to see and ride in any of his cars before I leave.

Michael : Hey why the change of mood all of a sudden?

Julia: Its nothing Mickey.

Michael : Don’t you try to be smart over here because I know you very well and this was not the mood you were exhibiting when we met here earlier. Now start confessing in a professional way to me.

Julia: Okay you have won Mickey, before I stepped out from my hotel, my boss called and he wants me back in the States by this time tomorrow even though I was supposed to go back in two weeks time.

Michael : Ah but why this sudden change of plan my dear, what is his reason for this sudden change of plan?

Julia: I his don’t know for him, this job of mine is f****** freaking me up. My mum is sick and I haven’t been able to go and pay her a visit ever since I came and now that I thought I was done with my assignment so I could go and visit her, see what my boss has brought up.

Michael : Oh that is rather so unfortunate but where is your mum at the moment? You can go and visit her early tomorrow morning before you leave for the States later in the day.

Julia: Hmmmmm Mickey unfortunately for me my mum is nowhere close to this place, her work transferred her to the Northern region so I can’t go and visit her within this short period of time.

Michael : This is so very bad so what are you going to do about it and if I may ask what job do you do?

To be continued

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