Opana – Episode 10

Opana – Episode 10

© Akoto Alexander

Opana walks into the house pretending to be drunk and falling down as he entered the living room.

Akua Yankey: Not again this evening Kofi Ansah, why have you decided to engage me in such hefty job recently? You come home heavily drunk that you can’t locate the way to your mouth even. This nonsense must stop because I didn’t bargain for this at all, I know what to do all the same. Herh where are you Adjoa Bernice, come and serve your father.

Bernice Ansah: (walks in with a tray with bowls on it) Ah papa why have you drunk yourself to stupor this evening like that?

Akua Yankey: Hmmm this is not the first time my dear, for some days now this is how he comes home looking. Oh you don’t know because anytime he comes you will be in your room, after this I have to carry him to the bathroom and bathe him. The annoying thing is the noisy sound he makes when he gets drunk, he snores like a Bedford car climbing a steep mountain. (starts to feed her husband)

Bernice Ansah: Hahahahaha, mummy you and your funny comments. Well am going back to my room.

Akua Yankey: Is your brother in his room?

Bernice Ansah: No he is not back from town as he left the house this morning. But mummy he has been acting strange lately.

Akua Yankey: How do you mean by that Adjoa Bernice? Your brother is hot because of the pressure your father is mounting on him.

Bernice Ansah: But it is true mummy, he should by now be working in the city and sending me money and dresses.

Akua Yankey: Oh shut up, are you God? Do you think he enjoys his current condition he finds himself now? You will get to his age and realise that life is not a child’s play.

Michael Ansah walks in but he didn’t want his mother or sister to see the polythene bag he had in his hands so he throws it behind one of the chairs in the living room without them seeing it. He is told to go in for his food and because he is so tired and hungry after eating his meal he goes to bed without coming for the drugs. Later on at dawn when Akua Yankey wakes up for her early morning chores something pushes her to pay the pocket of Opana a visit and that is when she stumbles on the remaining condom and as she is about to drop the trouser and confront her sleeping husband 3pregnancy kits falls down infront of her. She picks it up, checks the results and with her experience as a woman reads the results on the pregnancy kit. It immediately triggers anger in her.

Akua Yankey: I knew you always coming home recently drunk had a very serious reason. Kofi Ansah wake up from your stupid sleep and give me a proper account of this things. (she throws the condom and pregnancy kits at Opana which wakes him up immediately)

Opana: (yawning) What is all this noise about this morning?

Akua Yankey: I asked who those stupid pregnancy kits are for and what about the condom?

Opana: (knowing he has gotten his wife in the corner he wants) What do you know condoms are used for?

Akua Yankey: I know what they are used for and don’t try to patronize me Kofi Ansah because I know condoms are either 3 or 4 in a pack so where are the remaining ones.

Opana: (stands up from the bed and moves to the leaving room) I see you have been learning a lot lately and I really like that.

Akua Yankey: (screaming whiles following her husband for explanation) Don’t play smart with me, who are those pregnancy kits for? I knew it from the very moment when you started coming home drunk that all is not well. You have been cheating on me all this while with this small small girls who don’t even know how to wash their panties well erh? No female on this earth will pack into this house to share anything with me if you care to know. I won’t allow that…..

Opana: (interrupts angrily) Enough of this bullshit woman, shut that gutter you call a mouth before I tie it up with my bare hands. I have even kept quite without uttering a single word for the stupid things you have been doing also.

Bernice Ansah: (who was cleaning the living room all this while and stumble on the polythene bag his brother dropped there) Good morning papa and mummy please can you tone down your voices because it is too early and all the neighbours and tenants are still in their rooms perhaps listening to your argument. Please you can settle this in a matured way.

Opana: Good morning my dear. Woman you heard what your wise daughter said and Adjoa Bernice what do you have in your hands?

Bernice Ansah: Papa I just stumbled upon it when I was cleaning the room so am now about to check the content in the polythene bag. (brings the content out)

Opana: (seeing the boxes and he remembers everything that the pharmacist told him the previous day) I saw this medicine yesterday at the pharmacy shop and I know it cost the person who bought it four hundred and eighty five cedis (485.00).

Bernice Ansah: Papa this medicine are antibiotics used in treating STD oooo.

Opana: I know my dear but how did you know that the medicine does that kind of service for the body? Well I know you have experience in such field since you have seen and done it all.

Akua Yankey: You should be concerned about the questions I asked you that you haven’t answered yet.

Kwaku Mike hears the voices in the living room and joins his family members to ask what the problem was:

Michael Ansah: Good morning papa and mummy, please what is the noise about?

Opana: The noise is about the boxes on the coffee table there and I know you are the owner of the drugs so can you tell us why you bought it.

Michael Ansah: (playing smart) Oh yes papa I bought it for my friend who is down with a serious asthma.

Opana: Ah Mike you are a fool, you are a pathetic liar who has no common sense at all, I guess it’s only book knowledge that you have but for home sense you are really not having some. Which asthmatic patient takes miscellaneous antibiotics meant for STD as a solution to his problems. I sometimes wonder if you smoke sh*t from a weed smoker because you sometimes act weird. If you like keep your problems to yourself and carry your cross on your own my boy. I am seizing the medicine till the owner comes in and claims ownership of it.

Michael Ansah: I beg of you papa to release this medicine for me because it was purchased on a high recommendation to help solve a very important but delicate issue.

Opana: My friend I can’t buy and sell your explanation. Now tell me the truth to this question am about to ask you because it will either break or make you. Who is the owner of this medicine and what was the motive for acquiring it?

Michael Ansah: (had to drop his pride and open up to his siblings) Papa please it is mine and I bought the medicine to threat some STD infections I have got.

Akua Yankey: (covers her mouth with what she just heard) Jessssssssssssus Christ!!! Kwaku Mike from where did you contract this sickness and why haven’t you bothered to alert me of it. How long has it been on you as you contracted the infection? And where did you get it from?

Michael Ansah: Not too long ago mummy and I got it from……. A..g….

Opana: You better mention the name of the fool who gave you that infection before I slap the infection out of your system.

Michael Ansah: I got it from Agnes the tenant who leaves in the room adjacent our house.

Opana: How much did the medicine cost and from where did you get money to purchase it?

Michael Ansah: It cost me almost five hundred cedis papa and I borrowed the money from a friend.

Akua Yankey: (breathing out of relieve) Awwww Kwaku Mike so how are you going to pay him back since you are not working?

Opana: That is none of your business woman, the stubborn fly follows the corpse to the grave. You were here when I brought in a warning from the lady in this house, you people taught I was exaggerating or framing up a story against my own son. Now have you seen the end results? Woman meet me in the bedroom now.

OPANA’s BEDROOM

Opana: Well I have been planning all along to give you money to start a new business but I guess you couldn’t wait until the eleventh hour for Christ to come. You took matters into your own hands because you thought I was drunk and had drunk my mind also, you took from me an amount of two thousand five hundred cedis, well you can……..

Akua Yankey: (cuts in and goes on her knees) My husband I swear with my 2big brea$t that the amount I took from you is not up to the amount you are quoting. I only took one thousand seven hundred and fifty five cedis forty pesewas.

Opana: (smiling in his head because he had gotten the actual figure he wanted to know) Clap for yourself Akua, you had the impudence and nerves to invade my privacy and do away with money of your choice. Okay I was earlier planning to give you one thousand five hundred cedis so use that to start your business and the two hundred and fifty five cedis forty pesewas use it as a house keeping money to run the house. I am travelling to go and see some chainsaw operators to buy some woods. I will be back on Saturday, and try to put your house in order because you have failed me as a wife and mother to my children.

Akua Yankey: (bows her head in shame) Thank you my husband and am sorry for my action, it won’t repeat itself again. I will deal with every problem in the house before you return.

Opana: I have heard you, you are my wife and hence you will be one person who will hurt me the most, stand up and come and hug me.

Akua Yankey: (face beaming with you and happiness) My husband since we have solved our problem now and you have forgiven me can we make love to seal it?

Opana: Bad woman!!! Come and give it to me like it’s our first time.

Meanwhile Michael Ansah has dashed out of the house with anger fully written on his face to take action on something

__

Michael Ansah: (knocks on Agnes Kyerewaa’s door violently and breaks in) You cheap filty slut, you think you can infect me with STD and go about freely? Now wait and see what I will do to you.

Agnes Kyerewaa: Mike you are a big fool, infact you are a brainless human being, I thought because you are a graduate you were matured but you have just proven to me that you are a blockhead. Big body no brain, no job, you had the audacity to break into my privacy early this morning. I will help change your sleeping place today.

Michael Ansah: (didn’t allow Agnes to end her statement and he lands her a blow on her mouth and makes a follow up slap) You b***h, after infecting me with this evil disease you still have mouth to talk right infront of me. I will rearrange your face for you so that when you see a desperate graduate like me, you will accord him with respect.

Agnes Kyerewaa: (shouting for help) Please someone should come and help me ooo, someone come rescue me from this monster of a man. Kwaku Mike is killing me please help me.

Bernice Ansah: Who is been beaten this morning that is shouting for help, this compound this morning is full of noise ooo let me go and check so that someone won’t come and narrate something that I could have witness with my own eyes to me. (runs out of the house to where the noise is coming from)

Akua Yankey: (enjoying the stroke her husband is giving to her) Ah please take your time and hit it from the angle just that way. Yes I like it that way and please squeeze my brea$t for me a little, oh yes am really enjoying this queenly treatment. But where from that noise am hearing?

Opana: Oh leave them and concentrate on our special agenda because you don’t need a divided attention now.

AGNES ROOM:

Hajia Kubra: Bro Collins please hurry and separate them before Michael injures Aggie.

Collins Twumasi: Herh Mike stop that nonsense right this moment, why do you have to fight a lady and even in her room. I say stop it now!!!

Eno Bruwa: Oh God please come to our rescue before something bad happens here. Please the men around should do something to separate them.

Hajia Kubra: Bro Dennis please come and help bro Collins because it seems he can’t separate the two people alone. Now Bernice go and get your father if he is still in the house to intervene if not something drastic might happen here this morning.

Bernice Ansah: (runs back to the house screaming and knocks on her parent bedroom door) Papa and mummy if you dont come out to stop your son he will end up killing someone’s daughter ooo.

Opana: (redraws his thing from his wife and jumps from the bed) What is going on out there that has made this compound so noisy this morning?

Bernice Ansah: Papa it’s bro Mike, he is beating sister Agnes in her room and no one knows his reason for attacking her this morning.

Opana: Whaaaaat? Is he mad? What has come over him that he has to go and fight someone in her room? Adjoa Bernice I will be there right now. Now woman go out there and stop him because I can’t go out from this room with an erected p***s like this, I will join you shortly when the power in it drops down.

Akua Yankey: (wraps a cloth around her and rushes to Agnes room) Herh Kwaku Mike leave that lady right this moment. Are you mad? Who taught you how to behave like this towards a lady?

Michael Ansah: No mummy let me deal with this slut.

Opana: (lands Mike with a double slap from behind) You fool, how dare your walk into someone’s room and engage her in a fight. Let go of her this very second before I descend on you right now.

Michael Ansah: (let’s go out of Agnes but recieves a slap from her) Am not done with you yet you witch. I will ki*ll you before you destory me.

Agnes Kyerewaa: (bleeding from the nose and mouth) Fool you think you were going to have it easy with me huh? I will meet you boot for boot and bumper to bumper. I will make life unbearable for you in this house, you just wait and see.

Akua Yankey: Now Kwaku Mike, why would you leave the comfort of your house to attack someone in her room, what if the person stabbed you or hit you with anything as a form of self defense?

Michael Ansah: She is a witch, she is the one who infected me with the STD.

Collins Twumasi: Gods of our land, please save me from this infection. Please deliver me from this atrocity and I will serve you all my life.

Opana: Kwaku Mike you are a big fool, did she force the infection on you? Didn’t she send caution to you through me? If you have been affected why don’t you find solution and stay away from her? Have you seen how you have injured and disorganised her room? Pray she doesn’t decide to take legal actions towards you because I won’t step in to offer any helping hand. If you know you are so strong and want to start boxing why didn’t you inform me so I enroll you into a boxing academy in Accra. Am really disappointed in you and I have lost respect for you as a graduate. My dear Agnes you are free to take any action you want without any fear or merit. Am going to prepare for my trip. (walks away from the scene)

Akua Yankey: My husband please come back and plead with Aggie not to press any charges or take any legal action against my son. My daughter please am very sorry for my son’s foolish attitude please come with me for a first aid.

Agnes Kyerewaa: I don’t need anything from you or anyone from your house. I will so deal with your son that he will learn in a very hard way not to hit any lady again on this earth. I will make life unbearable for him and he will pay dearly with his life for what he has done to me. Please I want to be left alone so everyone can step out of my room.

Collins Twumasi: (sobbing as he steps out) Oh my goodness, if Michael has been infected with this STD then my story won’t be an exception since I don’t like using condoms. Awww that means I have also infected Gertrude Osei, Akosua Dufie and Hannah Adjoa Danquah. Hmmmm if Akosua Dufie is infected then my boss has also contracted it which he will transfer to his wife then the wife will give it to the houseboy and he will also end up infecting the orange seller and from there my guy will also get his portion of it. Gosh it is a small world paaa oooo, how do I alert the other guys to visit the hospital for treatment. Today my wife to be is coming in and I know she will demand for sex without condom, I can’t deny her because I have been doing so for the past 4months and she is now getting out of patience and suspecting me not to be man enough for her, I can’t afford to lose her because marrying her will change my life totally.

Eno Bruwa: It serves him right, that boy is too proud of himself and he’s even jobless as at now. You are leaving under the same roof of your parent and you go about sleeping around like a dog. Am happy he has been infected with an STD, he will learn his lesson after Agnes has finished dry cleaning him.

Akua Yankey: (who was following Eno Bruwa) Oh thank you so much old woman, I now know those who wish me well in this compound. You haven’t paid your rent for months and I always beg my husband on your behalf not knowing you only wish my downfall. We shall see in this house from today you ungrateful wretched woman.

Eno Bruwa: Aunty Akua please whatever you heard is not the way it is ooo, please don’t take it personal.

Akua Yankey: I won’t but I know what to do and you will hear from me soon. They act as lovers but they are all enemies of progress.

Agnes Kyerewaa: (inside her room) This fool thinks he can molest and abuse me and go free erh, I will rent a room for him today at the police station. See how he has changed my face with his fist and blows, if I don’t deal with him erh then am not a Friday born and a Kwahu lady.

OPANA’s LIVING ROOM:

Akua Yankey: Kwaku Mike am very disappointed in you and the action you took against that lady. Are you aware you can be imprisoned if she takes any legal steps against you? You heard what your father said before leaving the house that he won’t intervene on your behalf should the lady decide to deal with you legally. Me I have nothing to do if you are caught by the law.

Michael Ansah: Am sorry mummy, I don’t know what came over me. The money you gave me was what I used in purchasing the drugs and I felt bad after papa spoke harshly with me.

Akua Yankey: Shut up Kwaku Mike, didn’t your father warn you against her. If you know how to pray and fast to God for his mercies do it now because from the look of things you will really face the law. Have you been to the hospital to run a check up on yourself ?

Michael Ansah: No but she told me that she has infected me with it after we had sex.

Akua Yankey: See how you are sounding like a broken record. You act like you haven’t stepped foot into a classroom before. So who prescribed the medicine you bought for you because I know that young pharmacist doesn’t know much about prescribing drugs to people.

Michael Ansah: Aggie was the one who mentioned the names of the drugs for me the day she told me about the infection.

Akua Yankey: Ah my son you are a fool and very dumb. She how you are been controlled like a remote, have you been getting any signs or symptoms of any infection in or around your manhood lately?

Michael Ansah: Not at all.

Bernice Ansah: (walks into the living room) Bro Mike you didn’t try at all, see the way you were fighting with a lady like your fellow man. If I didn’t raise an alarm like you will ki*ll sister Aggie.

Michael Ansah: Will you shut up over there? What do you know at all, are you the one to advice me?

Akua Yankey: Kwaku Mike keep quite and listen to the sensible thing that you little sister is saying because it makes a lot of sense. It seems you have left your brain somewhere and I will will help you retrieve it soon.

OPANA’s COMPOUND

Dennis Asomani: Oh Collins you are here, I have been searching for you all over the place not knowing you are relaxing here under this tree.

Collins Twumasi: My guy if you think am relaxing here then you a very wrong. If you know what is up there like you will seek for cover.

Dennis Asomani: (looks up in the branches of the tree they are sitting under) Why have you seen any snake up there because for me I fear snakes paaa ooo.

Collins Twumasi: Oh boy there is fire on the mountain………

What fire could Collins be talking about that is coming from the mountain?

To be continued

All EPISODES

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