Sacrilege – Episode 30

Sacrilege – Episode 30

© Adeola Nissi

“That’s impossible!” Teju stared at Laura’s face like she had gone mad. Surely she didn’t know what she was saying. “This woman – Gloria – is your step mother” she stated with emphasis. “She only married your father after your mother’s death, so if at all Gloria is my mother, Frank Johnson can never be my father! I mean, I am almost the same age as you” Frank Johnson could never be her father, never!

Laura swallowed, moving slowly to the bed and lowering herself onto it. “I would have thought it was ridiculous also if I had not heard it from Gloria’s mouth herself. Four days ago, I had wanted to see him in his hospital room just after I left my dad’s room. I wanted to talk to him, but on getting there, I heard Gloria’s voice; she was with him. I turned back to leave and probably come back later… that was when I heard it. She told him that she had their daughter” Laura swallowed, her face covered in pain. “She said she hadn’t aborted the child like he asked, that she had given birth to the child. Tinuke”

Teju stared at her. “That is bullshit”

Laura took a deep breath. “I waited for her to come out then I confronted her with what I’d heard until she told me how it all happened” she continued. “When I had found that bottle of water in her room years back, Gloria had explained things to me, of how she had to let go of her only child but she never told me that the father of that child had been my father… Frank Johnson. It all made sense. It all started with me… I have always been the cause of your pain.” All things combined, Laura felt like she owed Teju so much.

“What makes sense? You are getting me confused here” Teju paced, moving to her chair and sitting. “Explain this to me before I lose my mind.”

Laura took a deep breath. How could she say? She shouldn’t have told her, she should have allowed Gloria do this. Resigned, she launched into the story as she now understood it. “It happened after what happened with my mother and my… birth father. Frank couldn’t bring himself to forgive my mother or forget what happened. Mark Johnson had told me of how bitter he was, how he couldn’t bear to look at my mother despite knowing it hadn’t been her fault. That was probably why he had gone to the… to the brothel… where he met Gloria”

“Halt!” Teju’s eyes were large now. After it all, she was surprised that something could still surprise her. She gasped out, a plastic astonished smile on her face. “It keeps getting better, doesn’t it? A brothel? So Gloria was a prostitute? A whore?” she exclaimed in indignation as she jumped to her feet again. “This is amazing”

Laura swallowed. “Don’t call her that, I would not let you insult her. You don’t know what she had to pass through”

“Not calling a spade a spade doesn’t change it to a spoon, does it?” she mouthed in disgust. “Oh my life is fucked up” she swore, shaking her head. “Well, continue the fairy tale. You can’t stop there now”

Laura took a deep breath. “Well what happened happened. Frank Johnson was probably trying to let out his frustration and that led him to having an unprotected affair with Gloria for a week. He wasn’t like her other clients and during the week, Gloria got to know that he had just gotten married. She couldn’t understand why someone who just got married would be spending an entire week with her instead of being on honeymoon with his wife. She had pried but he always got angry whenever she did so she let it go. The week had ended and Gloria had found it hard to go back to business as usual after what she had shared with Frank Johnson. She thought she had taken all the precautions she needed to but after a month, she realized she was pregnant.” Tito’s mouth was drawn in disgust as Laura continued. “She searched for Frank Johnson until she found him but when she did, he refused to accept the child. He told her that he didn’t want a child with a whore like her and that she should abort the child.”

Teju lowered herself back to the chair. It was probably the impact of the words that was reawakening her pain. She couldn’t stand it much longer, but she kept quiet, listening. “Gloria went to the hospital but the doctor warned her against having an abortion. He said she could lose her life since she had already aborted a couple of times and her womb was in a fragile state. He said if at all she didn’t lose her life, she would surely lose her womb. Gloria had to carry the pregnancy.” Laura avoided looking at Teju’s face. She couldn’t imagine just how bad she must be feeling by all these. “Giving birth to you did not take her life but it came close. She lost her womb to the excruciating labor but she couldn’t keep you. She didn’t want you to grow up with someone like her… she didn’t want you to have the stigma of being called a… prostitute’s daughter” Laura swallowed the lump in her throat, blinking back tears. “So, she did what she did. Put you on the water to sail into the hands of someone she thought might be more deserving. Someone who would take care of you.

“After several years, after the death of my mother, they met again. Gloria met Frank Johnson again. She had quit prostitution to open a small business for herself. Frank asked about the pregnancy and she told him she had aborted the baby just like he wanted. One thing led to another and they got married.”

Silence descended into the room, both ladies staring at the ground, different thoughts playing in their minds. Teju swallowed the tears. She refused to shed a tear for people who didn’t deserve it. “Wow!” she said at length. “Mother never wanted me, father never wanted me… and I wondered why men had never wanted me”

“Gloria wanted you, Teju”

“She threw me away” Teju bellowed, jumping to her feet and dashing away the tear that defied her restraints. They don’t deserve a single drop of tear from my eyes! “She threw me on the river without caring whether I perished or not. What kind of mother does that?”

Laura stood too, wanting to pacify Teju. “She was wrong, yes. She made mistakes but… she did what she thought was best. Life wasn’t fair to her too”

“Do you think I care?” Teju shook her head. “I would never accept that whore as my mother, and as for Frank Johnson, I would be dead before I acknowledge him as my father. After all he did to me, after all he made me do…” she shook her head vehemently, moving towards the window to breath freely to ease her pain. “It’s probably a good thing I’m dying soon. They would finally be rid of me. It’s what they’ve always wanted anyways”

Laura moved to Teju, standing in front of her so she could see her face. The pain was there. The fierce denial of what she had just heard. She knew it was hard to stomach this. It had been hard coming to terms with the fact that her conception had come with a lot of drama, bitterness and hatred, she could only imagine what Teju must be feeling. She stared into Teju’s eyes, a gentle plea in hers. “I know this is hard for you, I know you are in pain… but you of all people should know that we are capable of doing wrong things for what we judge to be the right reasons.” she held Teju’s hand, squeezing gently.

Teju swallowed, blinking back tears. “This is different” she mouthed halfheartedly.

Laura cracked a half smile. “Is it?” she asked. “They were wrong, Gloria was wrong, so was Frank… but we all make mistakes. They both have had to pass through so much pain in their lives, Gloria had to go through hell, but while I’m not justifying their actions, I just… I just want you to give them a chance. Please…”

*****

Chris grabbed the can of coke beside him and tossed some liquid down his throat. Sitting on the sitting room couch a little before midnight with the only source of light in the room being the one coming from his laptop screen, Chris leaned his back against the backrest, his eyes on the spreadsheet. As usual, it was normal for him to be awake, so late at night, what wasn’t normal was that he felt bad about his state of consciousness. He wanted to sleep. Work usually got his mind off things; with work he could shut down everything and only focus on what his brain could produce; no emotional entanglements, no distractions… but not today.

Chris couldn’t understand what was going on. He had known Tito for almost as long as he had known Laura and never had she invaded his brain as much as she had been doing for the past four days. What exactly was going on with him? He was in love with Laura, right? He had been in love with her since forever. So why was it Tito that set his blood boiling? Why was it thoughts of Tito that kept his mind off work. He couldn’t have fallen out of love with Laura and fallen in love with Tito within such a short time, could he? Was it that easy to fall out of love? Shaking his head, he tossed more coke down his throat. He certainly was not in love with Tito! Maybe I feel sorry for her… or maybe it’s lust! Celibacy sure can work wonders in making the mind…

A knock shattered through his thoughts, making him jolt a little. His eyes flew to the time on his laptop screen. Who could be visiting so late at night without prior information? He frowned, standing cautiously. The knock came again. It was gentle, not in any way violent. “Who is there?”

“Tito”

What in the world. Just when he thought working could get his mind off her, she decided to appear in person. Tito was sure determined to drive him insane. The fact that she was succeeding angered him beyond all else.

Chris’ heart skipped a beat as he made for the door in quick strides, switching on the turned off lights before yanking the door open. Brows furrowed, he stared in surprise into Tito’s flushed face. Just a few hours ago, he had held her in his arms, his heartbeat cascading above the normal. Now, she was here, still in the same clothes, the darkness of the night behind her. “Hi” Tito said with a small smile, then for no reason, she blushed, her eyes leaving his for an instant to settle on his chest. Tito opened her mouth, speechless for a few nanoseconds before staring embarrassed at Chris’ face. “Arrrhhh… hope I’m not interrupting anything?”

Chris looked down at his shirtless chest. “I wasn’t expecting anyone” he explained. Tito nodded, keeping her eyes glued to his face to resist looking down at his chest. “Come in” Chris opened the door wider, the frown in his face still intact.

Tito stepped in, being careful not to brush against him and Chris closed the door after her, securing the lock. “Is something wrong? What are you doing out so late?” Chris asked as he grabbed his discarded shirt on the couch and shrugged it on.

Tito’s eyes roamed the apartment, looking at everything but him. “Getting out of the hospital” she said, her eyes lingering on the bedroom door. “Barbieque?”

Chris did not even crack a smile. “I’m alone” he said and Tito nodded, sitting. “Do you have any idea what time it is? You shouldn’t be out alone so late at night, something could happen to you” he scolded. He didn’t know why the thought of her coming all the way from the hospital all alone annoyed him. He didn’t even want to think of what might have happened if she had fallen into the wrong hands.

Tito frowned at him. “Rein in, Chris; I can take care of myself” Tito countered. She exhaled. She had bags under her eyes that pronounced her exhaustion. Her shoulders looked taut with wound up nerves. Chris didn’t think Tito had spent a night out of the hospital since the accident. Everyone had talked, cajoled and even threatened but no one had been able to get Tito out of the hospital. Chris swallowed.

“Of course, you can” Chris mouthed drily. “What can I offer you?” He finally asked, shoving his hands into the pockets of his trouser.

“Too late to act hospitable” Tito rolled her eyes before closing them, resting her head on the backrest as her fingers rubbed at the corners of her eyes. Chris watched her. Tito opened her eyes looking to the side. She leaned over, grabbing the coke beside Chris’ laptop.“I’m disturbing your work” she noted. Chris finally left the spot he had assumed since her entry, walking to the laptop. He closed it.

“Wasn’t getting anything done anyways” he mouthed and sat beside Tito on the couch. Tito nodded and took a swing at the coke, drinking heavily. Chris watched her throat work in fascination. “It has zero alcohol” he joked as he watched her drink the coke as though she wanted it to wipe away her thoughts. Tito ignored him. Can empty, she dropped the can and leaned forward, burying her face in her hands. Concerned, Chris shifted.“Is something wrong?”

Tito shook her head, raising her face to rest her chin on her hands. “I’m a terrible person” she said then took a deep breath. “My uncle is out of coma”

Chris’ face lit up with surprised relief. He had expected something bad. “Wow! Thank God.” He gasped out, focusing on her face. “That’s good news, right?” he finally asked after a moment.

Tito nodded. “Yeah, it is” she said, taking a deep breath. “It’s just…” Tito shook her head, a strange expression on her face. “When the doctor said it, all I could think of was my dad, wishing he was the one… wishing he had woken up instead of my uncle” she swallowed, burying her face in her hand again. “Everyone was so happy, rejoicing, hugging each other with tears of happiness in their eyes… and that was all I could think about” she said in self-wonder. She swallowed.

Chris stared at her with empathy. He couldn’t begin to imagine how she must have felt. He wanted to put his arms around her, hold her in his arms until she felt better. “It’s normal to feel that way” Chris tried to pacify her but she shook her head.

“No! It was selfish to feel that way. Though I don’t like my uncle very much and think he is a terrible person, I should be happy he is awake” She swallowed.

“You love your father, more. It is understandable.” Chris wanted to justify her feelings, wanted her to feel better.

“Love is not selfish”, she countered. “I just… I just wanted a good news. I want something that would give me a measure of assurance. I entertained hope again. I entertained faith again… I even prayed again after so many years” she shook her head. “Is it so wrong to hope a miracle would come for me this time?” She shook her head. She turned her eyes to Chris, looking haunted. “You asked about the men in my past. Niyi died in a plane crash. We were in love. We loved each other so much, we could hardly stay without each other. We were still students in the university. He was in the final year but I still had two years to go. He wrote his final papers and I had to come to terms with the fact that i wouldn’t be seeing him in school anymore. I was so sad. The morning he had to leave, he came to my hostel, stayed with me, we played and chatted like we usually did. He didn’t want to leave, I didn’t want him to go. He was my best friend.” She swallowed. “I followed him to the airport where he boarded the plane that would take him from Minna to Lagos. He made so many promises, tried to make his exit easier for me, told me we would see each other again very soon, told me it wasnt goodbye that he would call me immediately he arrived Lagos.” She swallowed, dashing away tears.

“But it was all lies. It was goodbye… he never called. He promised he would but never did. I never saw him again” Chris tried to reach out to Tito but she moved away, standing. “That was the last time I saw him. The plane crashed.” She whispered. “There were several bodies recovered from the explosion, thiigh. Painful as it was, I wanted to see his body. I wanted to see him one last time. Wanted one of his parting words to be true. But we never found his body.” She bit her trembling lips. “Went from one burnt body to another, the stench of blood was seered into my mind. I breathed it, saw it, tasted its smell on my tongue… But I never found him, never had a chance at a closure. He was just gone”

Tito stared emotionless into space. “Then Ken came along years after.” She swallowed. “I had thought I couldn’t love again. After what happened with Niyi, I found it hard to move on. But Ken came along. He taught me to love again, to hope again; and I did, even more than I thought I could. We were going to get married, it was less than two months to our wedding when he called me that he was coming over to my place.” She shook her head. “I remember my room was terribly messy and I was racing around, putting things in order when he called again. Only, it was not his voice I heard but someone else, telling me he had been involved in an accident.” She swallowed. “He was taken to this same hospital. I rushed there, arriving just in time with the ambulance. He was soaked in blood and I gripped his hand as he was being rushed into the ICU. Laura and my dad came over and were there with me. I never left the hospital, I was scared he’d die if I did. But he still did. After days of hoping and praying, he still did” she hugged herself, goosebumps coming alive on her skin. “He still did”

Chris’ arms circled her from behind and she jerked a little, like she had forgotten about his presence. “I’m sorry” he whispered into her hair. He held her firmly, her back against his chest, his arms wrapped around her midsection. She turned in his arms, staring straight into his eyes, a strange look in her eyes. “Don’t care about me, Chris. Enough people have been hurt already, I can’t bear any more pain without losing it” the words were clearly visible in her eyes.

Chris brushed her hair back. The warning should have come earlier. He leaned forward and kissed her forehead. “Let me get you something to eat” he said. Leading her back to the seat, he went to the kitchen and placed the remaining food in the pot in a plate and took it to the microwave. By the time he got back with the food, Tito had already dozed off on the couch.

He dropped the food and sat on the couch, watching her. His heart tightened painfully as he watched her slender form. Too much pain for such a small body, his heart ached for what she’s had to go through. Lifting her in his arms, he carried her to his bedroom and straight to the bed. He lay her on the bed, removed her shoes and pulled the duvet over her.

After one lingering look, he picked a pillow from the bed and walked out of the room, turning off the light.

To be continued

 

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