Sacrilege – Episode 26

Sacrilege – Episode 26

© Adeola Nissi

Laura’s arms grew tighter around Deolu, waking him. His eyes opened into the dim light of the room. He had been sure to dim the light, making it easier for him to sleep with relative darkness, while also making it easier for Laura to sleep with a bit of light. He felt Laura’s tense body as she slept in his arms, half on the bed and half on his bare chest. Her full natural hair which was let loose spread over his chest like mounds of black clouds, forming a canopy around her sweet heart-shaped face. Her slender arm clutched at him, holding him tight even in her sleep and he knew sleep was not being kind to her.

“Laura”

His sleep-croaked voice was barely above a whisper. Laura’s hands tightened around him even more, her head moved and her lips twitched like she was murmuring something. Her brows were drawn together and her face looked troubled. Deolu shifted so he could see her face better. He kissed the tip of her nose. “Laura” he called again, running his hand lightly against her back. Her eyes popped open. Barely conscious, her eyes stared unfocused into the relative darkness of the room, roaming until they settled on Deolu’s penetrating gaze. Deolu’s hand moved of its own accord into the fullness of her hair, sinking his hand in it, even as he brushed it off her face. “Nightmare?” he asked in a whisper with concern in his eyes.

Laura blinked and in a flash, it all came back to her. She surged forward and would have pulled clean out of the bed if Deolu hadn’t had his hand around her, holding her back. “I have to go. I need to see dad” she explained.

“It’s still midnight” Deolu countered, forcing her back on the bed.

“I have to see how they are doing, Deolu” Laura argued as sleep left her eyes.

“And you will in the morning, after you’ve had some sleep. You haven’t slept for long” Deolu hadn’t slept for long either. He had practically forced Laura to eat after they left the hospital, after that, he had held her in his arms and rocked her to sleep as she curled up against him. He had stayed awake for over an hour, watching Laura sleep.

Laura blinked and sighed. “I can’t sleep, all I see is their wrapped up bodies” She didn’t want to sleep; she wanted to know how Mark and Frank were. She shouldn’t even be home; she should be there in the hospital with Tito and Gloria and the rest of her siblings, holding their hands, keeping each other strong.

Deolu watched the conflict in her eyes. “I’d drive you there first thing in the morning. I promise”

Giving in reluctantly, Laura lay back on the bed, placing her head in the crux of Deolu’s shoulder as he opened his arm for her, giving her arm a light caress. The duvet rode low around their waists, giving Laura the pleasure of Deolu’s built chest. Her hand roamed Deolu’s chest as she breathed into his neck. “What did the doctor say?” she finally whispered.

Deolu exhaled, silent for a brief moment. “They would be fine. Said something about fractures and a few broken bones, nothing major” His arm around her shoulder squeezed.

Deolu felt Laura smile. “Thanks for lying” she said. She truly didn’t want to know what the doctor had to say because she was sure it would only make her sad, and of course, Deolu knew that. He knew all of her.

Deolu leaned forward, lifted her head and kissed the corner of her mouth, brushing her hair off her face lightly. “They’ll be fine” he whispered, looking into her eyes. She nodded. Deolu watched her. “Would you tell me what happened yesterday night?” he paused slightly. “Did Teju say anything to you?”

Laura blinked and looked away, returning her head to the safety of his shoulders. “Not to me” she answered. Too many things had happened the previous night. She had found out way to much at once. Ignorance could be a blessing at times, because if nothing, it could save one from so much pain. If only she didn’t know the things she knew now. “She couldn’t have said those things to me”

“What things?”

“Things she did with my father… to my father, to you with… your mother” Laura felt Deolu grow tense and she looked up into his face. She wasn’t sure how he was going to take this. He already despised his mother enough, how would he take the knowledge that she had orchestrated his affair with Teju? “Your mother planned what happened with Teju”

Laura watched Deolu as she spoke the words and watched him struggle for a while before looking away. The pain was in his eyes, though he tried hard to hide it. Laura frowned, pulling back slightly. “You already knew” she said with realization.

Deolu swallowed. “Found out yesterday” he said shortly. The humiliation he felt at being made a fool of was still there, burning deep like the stab of a blazing knife but he wouldn’t burden Laura with it, she had more than enough to deal with already.

Laura released a breath and placed her head back on his shoulder. She put an arm across his chest and gave him a light squeeze. Laura was pained. Pained for herself. Pained for him. She knew Deolu’s mother had never been too fond of her from the onset. She always treated Teju better, even verbally hinted on it. Her throat felt heavy with fresh tears but she held them back and swallowed. “Are you happy?” she blurted out. “Happy she did what she did?”

Deolu went rigid beneath her. “What do you mean?”

“The child. The child Teju is carrying now is as a result of her orchestration. Does it make you happy when you think of it from that angle?”

Deolu blinked, staring at the top of Laura’s head. He couldn’t see her eyes. Couldn’t tell what she was thinking, but whatever it was, it couldn’t be good. “Laura…”

Laura raised her head, staring into Deolu’s eyes. The tears Deolu saw shimmering in hers nearly undid him. “I’m happy.” She declared, giving a weak smile. “I am glad you won’t remain childless because of me.”

“Laura please…”

Laura shook her head. “It’s fine, Ad, it’s fine” she murmured, giving him a smile to make him know she wasn’t angry, at least, not anymore. It had been so hard for her to come to this conclusion, but she had. “All I’ve ever wanted is to make you happy, Ad. To make you a father. To see the joy in your eyes when you lift our child in your arms. But I haven’t been able to do that. I haven’t. Maybe I can’t even do that. And by God, I wish I could, it’s all I’ve ever wanted” her lips shook and she bit on it. “If your mother did all these just to give you what I couldn’t give you, if Teju could give you what I couldn’t give you for six years, then I’m happy she did” she swallowed. “Teju would give you the happiness I could never give you”

Deolu pulled out, pushing to a sitting position. “Stop this please”

Laura sat too. “I want you to be happy, Deolu.” Isn’t that what love is all about? Thinking about the happiness of the other person above your own?

“I am happy with you”

“And because of that you would leave Teju to raise your child alone or worse, with another man? We have to think about the innocent child, Deolu”

“I never said I would leave her to raise the child alone” how could he? “The child is my responsibility and I do not run away from my responsibilities. We would co-parent. That doesn’t mean I have to be with her”

“A child doesn’t need a makeshift father, but one who is always there”

Deolu pushed out of the bed. He raked his fingers over his hair in utter frustration. “So what are you saying? That I should marry Teju?” He knew he should have made sure she slept!

Laura knelt on the edge of the bed, watching him pace. Her heart ached. She stilled her eyes from dropping any tear. She had later for that. “You are going to be a father, Deolu, and even though it hurts to know it wouldn’t be with me, I know you would be an amazing father. You can’t know what it is like to raise a child that is not yours, or watch another man raise your child. It is what happened to my dads. You would be hurting yourself and the child as well” she said, knowing just how hurt she was by all that happened with Mark and Frank. And while there were good men out there, she could not imagine another man with Teju, treating Deolu’s child like an outcast just because he knew the child wasn’t his. “I love you too much to let you go through that” the last part came out in a whisper.

Deolu stood very still, staring at her. He realized that this was not just about him. It was about Mark and Frank. When Laura had asked for a divorce, something in her eyes had made him know she wasn’t serious, that she didn’t mean it. But now… this was completely different.

Laura avoided his gaze. She wasn’t sure she could look at the pain in his eyes without weeping. “Is that what you want?” Deolu’s voice was barely audible.

Laura swallowed. “It’s what’s best”

He nodded, moving to the edge of the bed, where he hovered before her. “Would it make you happy?”

“Ad”

He raised her head with his finger till she was staring into his eyes. He wanted her to look into his eyes when she answered. His face was carefully shielded. “Would you be happy seeing me married to another woman?”

The tears she had held back slipped down her face. She swallowed and blinked. “Yes” she lied.

Deolu stared for a prolonged moment. His thumbs moved against her cheek, wiping off the tears. He leaned forward and planted a kiss on her head. “Try to get some sleep.” He whispered.

And then he was gone, the bedroom door closed behind his disappearing back. Laura stared at the closed door as tears rolled down her cheek.

***** If Chris thought the day had been terrible, his night had definitely been up to the challenge. He wasn’t much of a sleeper and late nights was what he was known for but after a day laden with so much pain, bitterness and tears, all he had prayed for was a dreamless sleep that would take away even if it was an iota of what he had just gone through… but no! After four hours of tossing from one end of his bed to the other, he finally accepted the fact that sleep was not his portion.

He pushed out of the bed, rubbing his hand over the hairless part of his head. Frustration clawed at every nerve in his body. Frustration is when you doze off three times in the middle of the night and instead of seeing the face of the woman you claim to love, the only face you see is the face of the one woman who seems to hate you to death; the one woman who had told him in every English vocabulary available that you were in no way friends. And that’s what has characterized his night. Unable to sleep, he had occupied his night with a movie he hadn’t seen, but after hours of play, he couldn’t even say he had seen a complete scene. His mind had been, not on Laura, but on her exact opposite – Tito. Instead of seeing the casts, images of Tito sitting all alone in the hospital had spiraled before his eyes till he thought he would go crazy. She seemed to have gotten her phobia in control but Chris couldn’t help thinking about what she must be going through… heck! He couldn’t but wonder if someone had joined her or if she was still alone, looking as lonely as he had when he had left. He didn’t even want to think about her tears…

She wanted me to leave… she asked me to leave… begged me… he told himself over and over again but it wasn’t helping, on the contrary, it was making things worse. Chris moved out of the bedroom, moved to the kitchen, grabbed a clean glass and went to fill it with cold water from the dispenser. He fell into the sitting room couch, downing the water as he glanced at the time. Still too early. Surely, someone would think he was insane if he showed up at the hospital at this time, just because he couldn’t stop worrying over someone who despised him. He definitely was beginning to think he was insane himself. And why on earth was he thinking about Tito to start with? Laura was going through the same thing she was going through, if not worse. Coupled with her crumbling marriage, having to deal with the accident of both Mark and Frank would definitely affect Laura more. She’s had too much to deal with already, not to add this to it. She had cried too, he had seen so much pain in her eyes, pain he couldn’t begin to measure.

So why was it that every time he blinked, all he saw was Tito’s face. All he saw was her struggle to remain strong, her struggle to push back the demons of the past, her struggle to hold on to the oyster seed of faith that her father would not end up like the people she had lost… He wanted to protect her and the great need to do that both stunned and worried him. The brief kiss they shared flashed back to his mind and he raked his hand through his hair, tossing the remaining water down his throat. “She was having a moment” he said aloud. As he surged to his feet.

He walked to the kitchen to return the cup and then decided. Since sleeping seemed impossible, it wouldn’t hurt to do a little cooking. Perhaps while sorting out the meal, he’d be able to sort out what was wrong with him.

*****

Tito got out of the hospital and heaved a sigh. Darkness and silence enveloped the atmosphere and she moved into it, walking towards a pavement. The wind blew against her hair and she raised her hand to brush the hair back to place. She exhaled again as she got to the pavement and sat. No one was about. Unlike being inside the hospital where the nurses moved around like they were in the afternoon, she was happy to have some seclusion out here.

Tito exhaled for the third time. She had feared this. She had feared that she’d get used to the smell again… Get so used to it that she would not be able to get it out of her. And now, after spending several hours in the hospital, the distinctive scent had seeped into her pores, clinging onto the walls of her lungs until yet again, it was all she breathed in, all she breathed out.

She closed her eyes for a brief moment, lifting her face to the wind. She willed the sun to tarry a little longer so she could enjoy the calmness of the dark a bit longer. Her eyes snapped open as she heard footsteps behind her. She surged to to her feet and turned around. “Chris?”

Chris smiled at her. “Hi”

Tito’s face was drawn in a frown. “What are you doing here?” She was sure the time was 6am thereabouts.

“Err… I have an early morning at work today so I decided to drop by on my way”

Tito blinked. “Oh” A smile tugged at her lips. She refrained from pointing out that she knew his office and it was not towards this direction.

One thumb was hooked on the trouser pocket as Chris raised the small nylon in his hand. “I remember you didn’t get to eat last night”

Tito’s eyes dropped to the nylon and she swallowed. How could he be doing this so effortlessly? He was making things so difficult for her. “Why are you doing this? Why are you being so nice to me?” She knew it was in his nature to be nice, to be so sweet; it was the reason why women were falling for him. But she had done everything to push him away, why did he keep coming back? Certainly, it was not because he was in love with her!

Chris smiled freely. “Let’s just say I’m a little short on friends, need to up the list” he lifted the nylon, still smiling. “A little bribery?” He winked at her.

Tito stared at him until her lips moved, answering him with a smile of her own. She avoided his gaze as she collected the nylon he held out to her, sitting on the pavement. She felt a little tongue tied as she opened the nylon clumsily. Chris sat beside her on the pavement, making her edgy. She scent of his cologne came to her rescue again, invading her nostrils till she forgot about the scent of hospital that aisled her just a few minutes ago. She shifted. “Where did you err… get an eatery at this time?” She opened the plate and various aromas assaulted her nostrils.

“I made it”

She looked up from the colourfully garnished jollof rice, plantain and fried fish, to his face. He was grinning, clearly proud of his accomplishment. Why wasn’t she surprised? “Of course you did” Was there anything he couldn’t do? Her mouth watered and she swallowed. She didn’t even want to think of the significance of the fact that he had made it. And she it smelt this good, she knew it was freshly made. Her heart felt heavy in her chest as she looked at the plate.

“How did I do?”

She looked at Chris who raised his brow at the food. She smiled, discarding her thoughts. She took out a spoon from the nylon, dug it into the food and took it to her mouth.

Her eyes held everything that Chris needed to hear. He watched her as he chewed and swallowed, her eyes widening with appreciate and felt like a superhero. “You know, this is a really good bribery” she said, turning to grin at him. Breeze caught her hair, blowing it around her face. His breath caught and his hand moved of its own accord, tucking the hair behind her ear.

The smile on Tito’s face slowly faded as Chris held her gaze. Something seemed to change. The air sizzled, making it a little difficult for Tito to draw a descent breath. Chris’ eyes slid for a heart stopping moment to Tito’s mouth, lingering. Her mouth felt dry. What was she doing? She blinked, looking away. She felt like she had just run a hundred metres race in ten seconds.

She dipped in the spoon and busied her mouth with chewing the delicious meal. Chris couldn’t remember when he had ever enjoyed watching someone eat.

“Any news yet?” Chris finally said into the silence.

Tito shook her head. “No” Her gaze involuntarily went to the entrance of the hospital.

“He’d be fine.” She looked at him. “They’d both be fine and it would all seem like a very bad dream”

She nodded again.

Chris looked around. “I should be leaving now” he stood.

Tito was surprised to realise that the darkness had lifted. She stood too, closing what was remaining of the food. “I should… get inside too” she explained. It was strange that they were exchanging words like civilized people.

Chris looked down at her. “I’d try to come around later”

She nodded. “Thanks for… for the meal. I really appreciate it”

Chris smiled. It was so fascinating watching the Tito stutter. It was surely worth the sleepless night and hours spent in the kitchen. For several seconds, they simply stood there, then, “See you later” he finally said and walked away.

To be continued

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