TEARS ON MY PILLOW – Episode 8
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I was fast asleep dreaming that the results were out and that we were travelling to Chipembi to go collect them. we were blocked by a big truck which had overturned on the road. I panicked and told aunty Nelly to just drive around the truck so that we made it to school on time. she was busy on her phone and seemed not to mind that we were late.
I was awakened by the vibration from my phone. I patted the blanket felt my phone, lifted it to my ears without looking at the caller name .
“Helo! ” I asnwered in a sleepy voice my eyes closed.
“hey!” the person on the other end answered.
” hey who is this ?” I answered carelessly.
“Jena is that you? Jena it’s Ben” I heard him say.
” what?” I was completely awake in an instant. I looked at the number, it was him..
” Ben is it really you..? ”
“It’s me love. What took you so long? I miss you Jena, why haven’t you contacted me?” He asked sounding excited
“Hey take it easy ” I told him,
” let me explain.. ”
I told him how I never got all the letters he sent using auntie’s address.
” I figured that out..” he sighed
“though it took time for me to think of that possibility, that aside.. how have you been? How is life in Zambia..? ”
“it’s ok and am fine now that i have heard from you.” I responsed.
“are you sure you are ok?” He inquired again. I almost told him everything but then decided not to. it was neither the time nor place I thought to myself.
“Am sure Ben. I wrote my final exams and am back home now. so tell me how is Russia..? ” o quickly changed the subject.
“Oh …” he chuckled.
“Russia is ok though i would rather be there with you right now. I bet you are in bed.”
” yes ” I laughed out.
“oh I miss you Jena… so much.. just that it’s hard here. I just Have to complete my studies before I could come back. I will be done in a few months.”
“I miss you too Ben, you have no idea what life has thrown at me the past year.” I toned down my voice.
” oh love you sound sad , is everything alright.? tell me what happened. ” He read my mood.
“I can assure you one day you will know everything, for now I can only say our lives are in God’s hands and he’s the controller and holder of our destiny.”
“Jena stop speaking in parables and tell me what’s up there?”
I smilled, I liked the concern in his voice that comforted me knowing he still cared for me..
We chatted for over an hour. Ben explained that he would come in a few months. I dared not tell him about Grace. for that moment it was my problem and I wasn’t going to tell him on phone. Besides, maybe he would even hate me for giving away our baby. He wouldn’t understand, I thought to myself.
“Do you love me Jena?” he asked before hanging up for some reason unknown to even myself I had never told Ben directly that i loved him and I couldn’t say it on phone either. I just said yes I do.
I heard him flown, “well it seemed you won’t say it to me aloud.” he giggled and I could imagine his face.
” well, I will wait for the day you will decide to say the words loud. But know that i still love you and am definetely coming back for you. You are my woman you hear.? ” I smilled, I couldn’t help love the command in his voice.
” yes sir” I teased.
“Hey i feel like talking to you forever but I have to go to class.”
“eeh this time?” I asked checking the time.
” yes silly” he laughed it’s broad daylight here.
“oh I forgot” I laughed..
“good to hear from you ” I sighed
“well am glad you called me love will talk to you later in the day am sure you are tired now, you need to rest.”
I hang up and felt so great. just hearing his voice gave me tickles. I had missed him so badily. I went back to sleep with a big smile. I had time with my girl and now I talked to my love.
” thank you Jesus ” I said aloud before pulling the blanket up to my shoulders and went back to sleep.
I woke up late, gues it was because my sleep was disturbed during the night. I woke up with a start and rushed outside. thank God it was sunday otherwise people could have been late for work. Everyone was still asleep the time i started working.
I was always the first to wake up, though I thought today I would find people awake. It was passed 7 but the house was still quite.
I did everything and prepared the kids and myself for church. we walked outside and waited for everyone to come out before we headed for church.
luckily sunday was the only day we moved as a family to mass and back. everyone at church had the picture that we were the perfect family. I knew that made aunty proud. She would do anything to paint a good picture of herself.
I sat idly in the bench my mind wondering away. All I could think of was Ben and my girl. instead of singing along to the songs I prayed that God would forgive me and helped me out of my situation. There was nothing I wished for more than having and living a normal honesty life.
The priest stood and spoke about us preparing our heart’s to receive Christ in the Christmas season approaching. I wondered away again. I thought of how i have swayed away from the correct path. In fact, I barely sang in the praise team.
“bring me back home oh Lord” I prayed again. Mass was over and we walked out. I saw aunt Chatting and catching up with her friends. Uncle too went to the parish office, since he was part of the church council. we had to wait for them with the kids. Walking yo the girls from the praise team and they all flashed me with smiles.
” why haven’t you been coming for praise?” one of the girls asked.
“I was busy with school but I will resume I promise” I responded bluntly.
Another praise member Jim joined in in chat.” come back dear” he said winking at me. He really had a dirty mind all he did was flirt with all the girls in the praise team and those who were idiots fell for his tricks. his effort to get to me failled tremendously. I always told him off but he was like a bug, he still insisted. claiming I was the only one who got to his heart to that i told him to keep dreaming.
Though everyone thought Jim was the hottest guy amongst the youths, for me he was just like any other guy. I was glad uncle called us to the car. I couldn’t wait to walk away. I waved the girls and entered the car lifting Mapalo and Tina inside.
I checked my phone and found a text from Ben.
“My love i know you are at church by now. Text me when you out. am off to bed.. I love you. ”
I quickly wrote back
“we are out now.. bet you are asleep.. miss your voice.. ” I smilled as I pressed the send button.