My Journal

My Journal – Episode 9

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By Amah

They cuddled and everything was going just fine, Zavi was enjoying the moment, she didn’t give a care to the world what they will think of her and her ex who is married making out, she don’t care whatever anybody thinks not even his wife or her husband Ken since Ken cannot father a child and Dan can, she will become pregnant again, if Ken doesn’t want the child she will bring them all up without anybody’s help, and Dan do no really have to know…if she continue to stay with Ken she will be probably stock with only Kris, just one child, after all, the problem is not with her but with Ken, who knows if the doctor will be able to cure him, so I have to be stock with him forever, no way” I love Ken but something’s are beyond love, he is a good person but I have suffered in silent after finding out about his impotence, and the worst part is that he want to get rid of my journal, my years of hard work my years of pain and tears and memory lane that the journal hold, how could he, he knows that I’m addicted to my journal why would he have such mind of trying to burn them, that means he never loved me, Ken doesn’t love me because if he do he will love my journal too and everything that concerns me…

As Zavi and Dan where still on the kissing and romancing spree Dan suddenly got himself and stood up as he tried to adjust and button up Zavi was angrily looking at him, wondering why he suddenly stop what they were both enjoying, she sat up from the bed and ask him what happened

“mmm hmm” Zavi, this is wrong…we are both married and this is not fair to our spouse, I can’t do this Zavi…I’m so sorry…I have really missed you and you know how much i wanted you, yes I didn’t want you to get married to another man because I thought that you doing that will probably kill me and It did affect me to some point but I asked God to help me to move on and he answered I moved on and got married to my wife, and she’s so sweet, the best wife ever, I love her Zavi’ I can’t hurt her..i can’t cheat on her, she deserve better than that, I can’t, I’m sorry I lead you along and we almost did but thank God it didn’t come to that point we will both regret forever, what if we had sex now and you fall pregnant, how do we explain that to the people we love, it will really hurt…don’t know how I would have face my wife…I know your husband love you too and this won’t be fair to him too… let’s try not to be selfish please….I don’t know what is going on with you and your husband and you have refuse to say much but I know is all is gonna be fine, no marriage is perfect, mine isn’t and I know several other people who have one issue or the other which is later resolved, God has blessed you and your husband with a child already and every good thing that life got to offer, I know you aren’t there yet but is a gradual process, please Zavi, can I take you home myself first thing tomorrow morning? I love you Zavi but I love my wife more, that’s the truth, I’m sorry if it hurt, you a good person and can’t watch you hurt yourself, I know you are a good person deep down and it takes somebody who have being with you for long to say that, is probably psychological breakdown… probably that’s why you attach so much emotion to a journal… it happens to every one of us ones in a while, when we think our own decision is the best without considering our partner…

As Zavi listened to him she felt so broken, she almost slept with another man who is not her husband and at same time dragging him to cheat on his wife, she felt ashamed of herself and begin to wonder what was wrong with her, she never meant to hurt Ken but she wish she can tell Dan that Kris is his son not Ken’s, she wanted to speak up and tell him that he was the father of her son but something held her back and the only thing that came out of her mouth was

“Is okay Dan, enough of the preaching, you don’t need to take me home, I’m really sorry for this… I guess we both were not thinking straight at first, I just thank God you stop before something we could regret later happened, I will go as early as possible, you don’t need to take me and Kris home, I’m sorry ones again

Dan watched Zavi walked out of the room, it was already 2:30am the night was very slow, he wished the day can break fast because he can’t sleep not after what that almost happened, he sat hard on the bed and held his head in his hand, he thought of calling her husband, but he doesn’t have his number and Zavi will not give him if he asked her, he went to the sitting when he heard a noise and saw Zavi, she told him she wanted to take water but doesn’t want to disturb him, he quickly brought water for her and asked her if she want tea, juice or anything, she said tea, he decided to make two cups, as he gave her he took his, he sat opposite her and decided to talk with her after she told him she can’t sleep too, Dan turn on the TV for them to watch, Zavi fell asleep on the cushion Dan covered her up, he later stood up and sneak into the guest room where Zavi was supposed to sleep, he saw her phone laying carelessly on the floor, he picked it up and found out it was switched off he quietly turn on the phone and got Ken’s number into his phone as he was about turning it off when her phone started vibrating he wondered who could be calling her by this time and who did the person managed to call just when he turned her phone on, as he checked he saw it was Ken, her husband, he thought of picking the call, he left with the phone to his bedroom to answer it

Ken was so surprise to see that Zavi’s line was going, he has not being able to sleep, he has being trying to reach her all day and night and was so happy to see that her phone was actually going, but his joy was cut short when he was about to speak but a male voice cut him off… his mind was beating so fast, his head started spinning. He couldn’t think of the worst thing that could happened at that moment, when the person said his name was Dan, he lost word, he thought of Zavi going back to her ex, and he is even picking her call, he thought of what Dan may have probably taken advantage of Zavi just like the last time, or probably that what Zavi want…his stomach tightened and anger crawled so fast to his chest, he felt like going over to wherever the guy lives and drag his wife and son out, not after giving him the beaten of his life, his hand was glued to his phone as he thought of thousand and one thing, he thought of Zavi returning his son to Dan, making him believe he is the real father…

“Hello, hello…are you there…like I said my name is Dan…a friend to Zavi and she…

‘Hold on just there…I know who you are…she took my son to you right?… I don’t care who you are or what she said to you about my son…I’m sorry to disappoint you. He is not your son, he is my biological son, and is proven and I also have the DNA test with me… I want my family… you want to destroy my family, but is not gonna work, I love my wife and my son and nothing will change that…wait a second…why are you answering her call, where is she? what have you done to her…where’s Zavi…

“exc…excuse me…what on earth are you talking about…I don’t understand anything you just said…I just wanted to tell you that Zavi is here and she is not really feeling well I will send you an address to come and get her, and nothing happened between us…well it almost though but it didn’t happen… and for your information I’m married with a daughter and I respect my wife a lot…Zavi is a good person and I guess you both had a misunderstanding but no marriage is perfect, disagreement is band to happen ones in a while, I know Zavi, and I know she loves you please come and get her early tomorrow morning, I will try to delay her so that you can meet her here because she plan to leave very early, we will get to meet, when you come, I’m not a bad person I’m just looking out for you both, get to know me before you throw a punch at me, and as of your son…I seriously don’t understand that part…

‘Please…hold on… she didn’t mention anything about my child to you? So what exactly is she doing there…

“she said she was angry with you for trying to burn her journals…and she didn’t say much…my wife is not around but she will be by tomorrow and you will also get to meet her, I can’t take advantage of Zavi, she’s emotionally broken…all she need is love and care…but wait…did she say Kris was mine? How can that be possible…please explain? Because everything is beginning to make sense to me…I know Zavi can’t just come to my place for nothing after all this years…I knew there was more to it….

“Never mind…I will come over tomorrow morning…please send address, I appreciate… I never knew you are married, she…she just took my son to your place that was my annoyance..i thought she said something about him…

“no, she didn’t, she wanted to say something but stopped…she told you that Kris was mine? Please talk to me, let’s clear this to avoid further problem in the future…hmmm…was that the reason she brought him down to my place…Kris isn’t mine please, is not possible… although I would have love to claim him right now but he is not, if he was I would have come long time to get him because that’s what I always wanted to have a child with Zavi I won’t pretend about that… I want to clear something here, please don’t get mad at me… yes we had sex after her sister’s wedding but she was so drunk and wanted me I also wanted her but I knew she was high and I felt stupid for even doing it but notwithstanding, I used protection, I use condom when we met… she didn’t notice but I have to because I sense she might be in ovulation, and that was the last time we met, I regretted it later because I wanted her to be the mother of my child, yes…I really regretted it then, I saw her during the wedding and noticed she was pregnant, I started wishing at same time regretting for using protection on her, during the mating …she was so high she didn’t notice if I was wearing condom or not, … I couldn’t have pregnanted her with condom…is funny… that’s not possible, of cause…Kris is yours, I have no doubt about it… no need of argument, he is your boy, it’s sound funny to even argue over a child real father… he is a sweet boy…and going to grow into a fine man, even if he was mine which I know he isn’t, you have being more of a father to him than I will ever be, he has being with you from birth…how can you not know he is your little man…

“Hmmm… there’s no problem, thank you Dan…I will see you tomorrow morning…and maybe get to meet your family…thanks…bye.

As the call ended, Ken sat hard on the chair still holding his phone, the information he has gotten in one night is overwhelming…how could Zavi not know that Dan use protection on her since she was only drunk not dead, how couldn’t she know who the father of her child is, how can she even think of going over to her ex place just to hurt him for confronting her about the useless thing she wrote in her journal and also for trying to burn the journal, that holds so much hurt less happiness, how could she even do such a thing, taking my son to the person she thought was the real father, why will she do such to me, of all the places to go why will she go to her ex place? Did she even love me at all, what if Dan wasn’t married, and decided to have sex and she fell pregnant, this time it will be on purpose, another man pregnanting my wife, not to mention that Dan said they almost did, who knows what he meant by that, although I like him for being open and real but what could have happened between them, maybe they kissed, cuddled and that’s all or the feeling was so much for them to hold back and Dan has to control himself because he is married and the wife isn’t around, why will Zavi even go there at first, it means she loves Dan so much that she will ever love me, she loves him so much to have taking my son to him, she love him so much to have written such nonsense in her journal making me feel useless, I still can’t understand why I still love her because it hurt like hell to know that she never regards me or love me just like I do, it hurt to know she is over at her ex place for the wrong reasons…she could ha..

As Ken was thinking and pacing the room with his leaping leg angrily, the clock think 4am, he checked his phone and found a message, Dan has sent him his address with his own number, is really a long drive, it will take several hours to get there, he thought of Zavi again driving that long distance with Kris, he planned not to argue or fight with her again, before she leaves the house again to God knows where, he felt chilled all over his body, as he thought of Zavi and Dan, he hurried up to get ready, he decided that he will use a taxi so that they can all come back in Zavi’s car, he went into the bathroom to get set for the journey ahead.



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