My Journal

My Journal – Episode 8

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By Amah

When Zavi arrives at Dan’s place he was standing outside waiting for her, they exchanged hugs and she went inside leaving her stuff only picking her journal and hand bag while Dan carried Kris who still didn’t understand where they were and who the man that was carrying him is, he wanted to go home to his Daddy but Zavi has cautioned him on asking too much question.

They went inside and Dan served them refreshment Kris wasn’t hungry while Zavi sip her drink, Dan was waiting for Zavi to tell him the reason she came but she hasn’t say anything yet, Zavi looked around the sitting room and saw pictures of him and another woman and there was also a little girl picture not more than three years she didn’t know what to make out of that, she thought within her that Dan can’t be married, she was still thinking how possible that could be when Dan spoke,

“Zavi, you haven’t spoken since you came in, what’s going on…is being like over six years since I last saw you, you have not really change much, I’m glad to see you and sincerely missed you too, your boy is so big now, he looks exactly like you though, thought by now you will have like two…anyway, how’s is your husband and everything generally

“Fine, yeah, my son is almost six, is really being a while…

They talk about so many things as Zavi talk about Kris, she was careful enough not to mention anything implicating and Dan didn’t mention anything so personal about himself it was a generally talk, and they were both trying to be careful not to touch some sensitive path of their lives, Dan saw that Kris wasn’t really happy and went to cheer him up after sometime Kris became lively again and giggled as Dan joke tickles him, he took him to another room that looks like a little girls room, well decorated with pink and put on a cartoon for him to watch, Zavi watched as Dan and Kris tries to get along, she wish she could tell him that Kris is his son, she saw how they bonded and quickly remembered the general adage “like father like son” she wanted to run to Dan and kiss him and told him that Kris was his, but Dan has only hugged her and hasn’t really say much about himself…she patiently waited…she thought of Ken and hated him for trying to burn her journal, he is very wicked and I hate him for putting me through pain, I even did him a favor by getting pregnant with Kris what if I hadn’t have sex with Dan six years ago and become pregnant with Kris I would have still be childless, and he have the nerve to say I’m wicked he is so ungrateful. She was still in her thought when Dan came back and join her

“so what brought you to my place, I know it must be something very huge because after all this years you picked up phone and called me to say you were on your way…I was shock at first when I heard your voice…but I’m happy to see you all the same…so tell me what is going on?

“Nothing, just thought I should come by, I also missed you, though is hard to admit…. you never bother to check up too, so this is even…

“I got the message of you being married so I stayed off, Zavi, I can’t come between you and your husband just like I won’t like anyone to come between me and my wife….sorry, I have not told you, i was waiting for the perfect time to say it…or probably waiting for you to ask, I’m married, I’m married to an awesome woman, and God has being good to us, we are blessed with a daughter, she is two going to three and we are expecting another soon, I know you must have seeing pictures around was hoping you will ask….when you got married, I was shattered Zavi, I found comfort in drinking, I was so miserable, I didn’t know how to move on because you were in my every thought, not until Eliz, my wife came into my life, I told her about you and she helped me greatly, I stopped drinking and she never stopped loving me even in my mess, and I loved her so much, we later got married and is being so good….right now, she’s with her mum, she went visiting with our little girl and will be back tomorrow…Zavi, she is God sent to my life…I so much wish you can meet her and confirm it yourself, I don’t know what I would have done without her….

Zavi was quiet as he listen to him talk about his wife, she almost shouted when he told her he was married with a kid and watching him talk about his wife with so much love in his eyes gets her jealous, she wish he can stop talking, she wondered if it was this kind of love he had for her, she saw that truly Dan was so real, and she instantly started regretting of leaving him to marry Ken, her life won’t be so miserable if she has married him, she felt her heart beating so fast as Dan’s pour praises on his wife and child, she wanted to slap him so that he can be quiet, she felt like hating his wife for making Dan to forget her, she was so pained as she tried to listen to Dan, she couldn’t hide her jealousy as she kept a hard face and was looking at him talk about his wife like a god, she wish Ken can idolize her the way Dan is doing right now instead of always sneaking into her privacy and reading her journal. Dan noticed her discomfort and asked her if she was okay, she told him she’s fine just having a headache, Dan wanted to get something for her but she declined and told him not to worry that she only need a good rest after several hours driving down to his place, she smile, while still pretending to have headache as she rest her head on the cushion Dan got a throw pillow and supported her head with it, she was enjoying the way Dan was caring for her, she wish Ken hasn’t gone through her journey, she will be home right now and not be in her ex house who is married and idolize his wife making her jealous, probably Dan was doing it on purpose, to make her feel bad and guilty for leaving him to marry Ken, she wanted to cry her pain out but not in front of Dan, Dan asked her what troubled her, he was urging her to say, she wanted to shout that her little boy in the next room was his, she wanted to tell him how he made her feel when he talks about his wife, he wanted to tell her that Ken almost burn her journal after finding out that Kris is not his, but all she could was shot her eyes, when Dan touched her fore head she opened them and stare at him,

“Zavi, are you alright…something is bothering you, you know you can trust me, don’t hold it back because I’m married, I will always be your good friend and will be there if you need me, is being so long and I’m so glad to see you again even though I’m supposed to be very angry with you for leaving me the way you did and never care to check up after all this years, but that is a bygone, is our past. You are blessed with a good man and I’m happy for that because I know your husband loves you and I’m equally blessed with a good wife

“Is okay Dan, let’s try not to talk about our spouse please, let’s just talk about something else without our spouse in it..

“Are you having issue with your husband, what happened?

“he is a wicked person Dan, he tried to burn my journals, my years of hard work and through memory lane, he almost got them burnt, because he stumbled on something I wrote down in one of the journals and he became pissed, and he wanted to burn all my journals…can you imagine?

“hmmmm, that’s sad, what was it he read that got him off…do you mind sharing…

“He is so annoying Dan, I don’t know if I should regret being with him because he has put me through a lot…he had health issue…and he found out that kri… I’m sorry I shouldn’t be talking about this…I can’t…never mind..

“Please go ahead…health issue like what exactly…and do you mean your boy Kris…or somebody.. I still haven’t understand exactly what you are saying..

“You won’t understand…let’s just leave it at that…have already said too much… i…I love him Dan, ..That’s why it hurt so much… I wish I can go back in time and keep my journal safe where he won’t get to it…we won’t be having this problem and I won’t be bothering you right now..

“Zavi, you are not a bother, so tell me…if the journal makes him unhappy, maybe you should stop writing, because when people love someone and the person choose something or someone else over them it hurts… really hurt… I know that’s why I’m telling you, I don’t know about your journal or the effort you put in writing but please try not to write some sensitive things that will hurt your partner when he reads it…

Zavi kept quiet as Dan talk, she shaded few tears Dan stopped talking and held her, she told him she wanted to check up on her son before going to freshen, after which she will go and rest, Dan took her to where Kris was, Kris was already asleep and the television was still on, Zavi looked round the room and saw that it was Dan’s daughter’s room, well decorated with pink color, she wish she has a daughter that she can decorate her room too like this, Dan lifted Kris to his shoulder and carried him to the guest room where Zavi will be sleeping, Zavi watch him lie her son on the bed, he put off his shoes and his shirt leaving only his singlet and covered him well, she was moved, Ken does this too but it takes a real father to care for a child this way, she wanted to tell him that Kris was his child, as she thought of it, she quickly wave the thought off, Dan said goodnight and told her he will be bringing duvet for her and Kris, she thanked him for accommodating them, she watched him walk toward the master bedroom he shared with his wife, she felt a pinch of envy for Eliz, Dan’s wife, the bedroom was supposed to be for her and Dan not ‘Eliz’ or whatever Dan’s calls her, if she has agreed to marry him, she thought to herself, as she watched Dan, Dan turned to look towards her bedroom and she quickly hide and went to the bathroom to refresh for the night, after which she sat on the bed…she saw that Dan has brought her bag from the car into the room, she can’t remember when he did that but she was grateful because she was already wondering how to go outside and get it from her car because she needed something from there, as she lie down, she thought of Ken and quickly wave it off, this is not the time to do that, she thought of Dan she looked at Kris who was sleeping peaceful beside her, her son was handsome, and Dan too is also handsome, she wish she can have another child through Dan, she know Dan still have feeling for her and she will be difficult for him to resist her if she want him, she smiled and there was a knock on the door, she quickly rush to the door and opened, it was Dan holding the duvet, he was putting up a pajamas, and it made him more handsome… she collected it and ask him to wait as she covered Kris with it and came back to the door where Dan was waiting, she looked at him and he gave her the look of “what do you want” she gently went into his arm and he didn’t hold her immediately but later held her and they were like that before Dan tried to loosen up but Zavi wasn’t ready to let go, she raised her face and urging Dan to kiss her, but he didn’t, Dan looked and saw that Kris was trying to turn from the bed and mentioned it to Zavi, who told him not to worry about her son, Dan stepped back, Zavi followed and closed the door behind her leaving only Kris laying on the bed, she asked Dan why he was scared of her he reminded her that he is married and she too, she nodded angrily, she was so sad that Dan can resist her, she stood for some time making Dan to feel guilty for rejecting her advances as she turned to leave he called her, she stopped without turning back he approached her and try to make her understand his reasons, his own emotion was running wide but he wasn’t ready to defy his vow to his wife, as she went into his arms he held her consoling her, she raise her eyes again to him he kissed her after resisting for a while, they started kissing and Dan murmured something to her to stop but he was too weak to let go of her…she pushed him towards the master bedroom as they started taking off their cloths..

Ken has being so devastated since Zavi left the house, he has tried to call her severally but her phone has being off, she hasn’t spoken to anyone, he wasn’t ready to bring a third party to his family, even if Zavi had an affair when they were married or before they got married, he was ready to forgive her, all he wanted was his wife and son, who the son belong to is not a problem and will never be, Kris is his son and that is all that matters, he knew if Zavi was at the sister’s place or Gina’s they would have called him and those are the last place she will go, the thought of Zavi going back to her ex, hurt Ken, he prayed silently that Zavi will not dare go to Dan’s place but instead go to a hotel to stay until she’s calm enough and return to home, he missed her and his son, Ken didn’t want start creating scene, he would have drove after her, what if something happened in the process and one of them get involve in an accident… he wished he knows where Zavi is, his doctor has told him that in he will be okay before two weeks, he has completed his injection and drugs, everything his doctor has told him to do, he was so happy and couldn’t get home to tell Zavi, but Zavi threw a punch to his face by leaving those things in her journal. He was happy everything will be finally fine with him as he has followed every step the doctor prescribed and when it was almost time to try for another baby like Zavi has always wanted she’s having issue with him, he has every right to get angry with her, she hurt him so much with what she wrote in her journal, but he allowed his anger to get the best of him, it doesn’t matter, all he want is his family, his son and his loving wife, he thought of what doctor Sami told him that Kris was his miracle boy, Kris has being the joy of their home, he has loved him from birth, Zavi know that much why will she write so much negative things in her journal, he was only trying to help by trying to burn the journals, as she attached so much importance, emotion to an ordinary book, sometimes he wonder if she loves her journal more than him…or do she even love him at all, she hurt him but he was ready to let everything go if only she will just come back home to him. Ken held his phone again and tried to call her but the line was still not going. He doesn’t want to believe what his mind is telling him that she have probably gone back to Dan with Kris and telling Dan that he is Kris biological father not him, if she did that it will probably kill him, he prayed silently that it won’t be true, he tried to close his eyes an imagination came to him, he just imagine Zavi and Dan curled up together, kissing and making out…as he thought of it he felt pain in his heart, as he shouted loud to the empty house, “NO, NO…it can’t be…” Zavi won’t do that to me…I know she can’t hurt me intentional” NO ZAVI…WHERE ARE YOU’’ OH MY GOD oooo”

He kicked an iron table in anger and hurt his leg, he held his leg trying to nurse his wound, and he felt like a looser, he wasn’t man enough to keep his family together. The pain from his leg wasn’t so important to him but the one in his heart, he sat down where he kicked the iron table still rubbing his leg, and thinking where Zavi could be with Kris.

His phone was ringing he slowly went and picked it, it was doctor Sami,

Hello Doctor Sami…

“Ken, how are you, I have being trying to reach you and your wife, and how is your family?

‘We are good…

“that’s good to hear, just as we discussed in exactly 9days, you will be done with every medication, and I’m assuring you again you will be totally fine..i know the journey hasn’t being easy, let’s thank God you have a very understanding wife, you are actually a lucky man to have gotten a son before the problem occurred…is still a miracle like I always told you…Kris is a miracle boy…I know we don’t do with all that miracle thing when it comes to medical field but somethings are beyond our understanding, some people term it coincident while some call it miracle, so you will soon be a father to another child I know that Zavi will be thrilled, she will be so happy for the good news… hello…hello are you there Ken?

“I am doctor, just here listening to you…not having much to say…

“you don’t sound happy, even with the good news.. that you sounded so happy when I first told you.. what happened…is there a problem Ken…I have being your family doctor for years. And you have trusted me and I have tried not to disappoint…did I say anything wrong. Is Zavi and Kris okay?

“yes, you said something wrong, I trusted you doctor and I expect the truth no matter the cost. Why will you hide such thing from me? I know you were trying to protect my family but me finding out the way I did hurt even more…because I know you knew about it but choose to cover up…is not fair…is not like it would have made any difference…I still love my wife and son…it make no difference to me, but some secret are just too heavy, is like bomb when it

“Ken…hold on…hold on…what exactly are you talking about…I don’t understand..

“About Kris, my son, I found out I’m not his biological father… Zavi wrote it in her journal…she said the baby is for her ex, that was before we got married…I’m impotent, I can’t father a child for now until I’m medically confirmed fit…so I foun…

“oh my God…how could she wrote such…did she did DNA test to confirm the truth, I have Kris DNA test here…and you can still bring him over just for you to be sure, Kris is your son… biologically, he is your full blooded son, like I said earlier, I don’t know how it happened…that’s was why I called him miracle boy…he was conceived before the problem occurred, Kris is your boy, even if you don’t want to do the test in my hospital take him to any hospital of your choice and it will be confirmed to you…

“Doctor are you serious… Right now I’m speechless…I’m having issue with my wife because of this and she left the house…I haven’t spoken to anyone yet about it… I don’t even know where she is with Kris… i…I’m confused doctor..

“is going to be alright…she will come back home…I’m sorry… but you actually fathered Kris, I don’t know how to say it again… I just want you to know this is one of those challenges in marriage, and I know you will both cross this bridge… I know Zavi loves you and both of you will have more children as you can take care of is just a matter of few days… please duty calls, have to get back to work…I will call you tomorrow..

As they ended the call, he was so happy to know that Kris is his own flesh and blood… but he doesn’t know how to react to the news now that Zavi took Kris along to where ever she went to…he desperately wanted his family back, Ken started trying Zavi’s line again, but it was still switched off.



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