�The pains we feel makes us stronger, though we may cry along the line�
I seemed strong but I can break down anytime soon. I just pray for strength, though I had no idea what going on my knees to pray will do for me.
After a week, I got so much worried he hasn�t shown up yet, I called her mum and she told me she hasn�t heard from him I asked myself why I was worried.
I was in my room, after a week and 2 days since he left home and I heard his car moving in I peeped through the window to check if he was the one, after confirming I laid on my bed, while informing the mum he was back.
She muttered thank you and we hanged up Since then, it was I dodging him or he does I finally told my parents I was returning home They were so happy so didn�t ask too much questions.
Am sure they will when they realize I had no plans of leaving.
However, no day passes without lots of regrets clouding my judgments I wished things were different, but they are not, and I have to start leaving soon.
My plans are almost ready, telling my parents speed up the process with their numerous links. Bebe never stopped calling, neither did the Oke�s
Livie and Malia called later on to apologize after the last fight.
I admire what they have, no matter how much Clyde painted the story in front of Malia.
She said she knows what her man can do, he is a lot of things but not a cheat and if he ever cheats, he wouldn�t have the guts to introduce the woman he is cheating on her with.
They are not perfect but this is what every couple should learn,You trust your partner to the extent that when the truth hits you in the face, you can still stand up for them.
I don�t know how I can get rid of this love, but I think with time, it will diminish I must admit I do love my husband despite the divorce and he ripping my heart apart.
But somehow I still feel he is there and never going anywhere I was coming back one afternoon after a visit to the embassy and I met Clyde and a lady coming out of the room.
Their appearance and demeanor shows what they are clearly as if I wasn�t bothered, I just walked pass them to the room I quickly closed the door and started crying all over again.
I am now accepting the fact that my marriage is finally over I started packing up my things, the one�s I came here with. I left behind the things I acquired with Clyde, I want nothing that will remind me of him Before he came back, I left to Bebe�s end.
I called up my Dad, to help finalize the papers I can�t wait for another two weeks as the embassy stated. He tried putting words in my mouth, but I refuse to tell them anything even though I know at a point, I have to after a week at Bebe�s.
Clyde never bothered to find out why I never came back home. It�s not like it bothers me that much, but at least I was hoping he did.
The next week, I was on my way to the airport. Bebe and Jake escorted me I saw myself at Heathrow airport the exact time I needed to be there in London.
My parents picked me up, everyone was in tears, but I was crying for another reason I left London for close to 5 years now, am back but with nothing Well, I still have a life to get back to, I assured myself.
We finally arrived home, and nothing has changed My entire family, nuclear, extended and friends were waiting to welcome me home
I had to really dodge the whereabouts of your husband question, but I knew I may not avoid forever. Soon enough everyone left, and I was alone in my room when mummy came in.
Mum:How was your journey?
Me:fine thank you, to be honest it was so hectic and am glad am finally home. Can�t wait to get back to my life.
Mum:Oh really, How are you here alone, How is your husband, why didn�t he come with you.
Me: mum am tired, and too many questions at a time won�t help.
Mum: okay my daughter, we will talk later, welcome back once again. Weeks passed and I keep avoiding the topic anytime we are having a family time.
As if I was hoping Clyde would come back for me soon and this nightmare of ever telling my parents they were right from the beginning would give me some relief.
A month of my return, no day passed by without wishing Clyde was here with me.
Bebe never stopped calling, the rest call once a while. I was on phone with Livie and he was asking if I found someone else and I replied one heart break and a divorce is enough.
I wasn�t ready to go through it again Just then my mum entered, Barbara, what did that man do to you exactly I can see it in your eyes, I can feel you went through something terrible And I just heard you are divorced, OMG!
Your father will ki*ll this man.
Me:Mum, stop yelling, yes am divorced, that�s what you and Dad wanted all along
It�s over now, that�s all to it. You can leave now Suddenly tears engulfed me as if my tear duct just got opened. I cried uncontrollably until my mum wrapped her arms around me in a quick and calm hug.
We stayed that way for quiet some minutes, until mummy spoke up.
Mum: am sorry you had to go through this.
I can�t imagine how difficult that was. But if you are not ready to talk about it, I will wait until you are. Now get some sleep.
Me:Okay mum, thank you.
But I can�t talk to Dad, His anger I can face but the embarrassment and that I told you so, I can�t take it. Please talk to him for me.
Mum:That�s not a problem, we are just glad you are back home in one piece. I quickly laid myself on the bed, which she covered me with a blanket like she always do when we were children. I woke up somewhere late at night and saw my dad dozing off in the sofa beside my bed.
He might have pulled it from its initial state Obviously my mum didn�t waste time to tell him about the divorce.
I quickly muttered Daddy and he woke up immediately asking if am okay.
I told him I was fine, he shouted out for my mum who quickly rushed in with a serving tray, which I assumed is my dinner? I asked what was going on, and they were behaving so weird.
Mum:You slept for close to 10 hours, we were just so worried.
Me: Mum, am fine, I was just so tired from the journey that�s all.
Dad: Baby eat something please.
Me: Okay, I will definitely eat but not in here, Besides you guys don�t have to treat me like I just buried someone close, common, it�s just a divorce.
Am almost over it, you don�t have to pamper me. So I don�t feel embarrassed about my failed marriage, which I know you two are so overjoyed about
Dad:Barbara, stop it now, You think a parent will be happy to see the daughter go through this kind of thing.
Yes we are glad you are back safely to your home, and we were not in support of your marriage, but we never wished you harm.
Can�t a father pamper his baby girl anymore? Or we should have thrown you out when you came rather than welcoming you with an open arms, Or you think we actually prayed for you to fail in your marriage.
Me: Dad am sorry, I guess this whole thing is yet to hit me so hard, And am just finding an easy way out trying to give the blame to you guys. He just stood up and left, mummy runned after him with the food tray
I think this is the reality, Clyde is gone, he is no more mine. Let me get out there, get some real work to occupy my time and mind
All my life I have never done anything for myself like a real job. I keep volunteering all over.
Daddy�s big idea of me becoming his successor of the company since my brothers are still young. I do go in to his work place sometimes to run things, I will wait for him to cool down so I ask for that opportunity to be given to me once more.
I went downstairs and dad was not there, my brothers as usual were fighting over their video games then I went back to my dad�s door, I knocked severally before he asked to come in.
Me:Daddy, I said am sorry now, with that weird Nigerian tone. I rushed to give him a tight hug, which he had no option to hug back.
Dad:you get me worried when you rebel and talk to me that way I hope you are fine, I know your mum promised you she wouldn�t ask for details But I wish you could tell me, but then I won�t push you. If you don�t feel comfortable talking about it that�s fine.
Me:Dad can you let this one pass please, I want to start afresh by going back to my duties at work.
Dad:Really, thank you my dear.
Now I can rest for sometime We talked for a while until I decided I was going in for some coffee, since it�s late for heavy food.
The next day I was ready for work, my dad gave me a tour of the office, nothing has changed that much. My office space was still intact, I quickly got myself involved in work Day after day, I receive so much pampering from my parents, which is getting me worried.
When they start like that, they have something up their sleeves.
Days and months passed by there is no show of Babs around the house, I asked the gate man and he has no idea where she went to
I wasn�t bothered.
I thought she was just avoiding me, since her wardrobe is still intact, Little did I know she took only the things she brought with her.
I went about my daily activities, from the clubs to restaurants I wasn�t ashamed of my life After work one day, I wanted to get something from Mr. Biggs for dinner since I can�t cook I was about leaving the place after getting my order, when my eyes caught up with Livie and Babs.
I only saw Barbara�s side cheeks but I can see Livie clearly. I quickly told myself, today their cup is full I quickly walked towards their table where they were taking selfies.
And started shouting, Barbara today your cup is full.
Then Livie saw me and instantly stood up, everyone is watching us now.
I then shouted, Babs name and tapped her on the shoulder, she turned and I realized I was mistaken, this strange woman I always see Livie with isn�t my Barbara, it�s a look alike, but how?
They look so much alike, the walk and especially her cheeks.
The last thing I heard was, Clyde is that you? Are you okay, the way you are referring to my sister as Barbara I hope you aren�t hallucinating.
By the time I realized where I was after that incident was on my steering wheel, driving to no particular place in mind. I may never be able to tell how I managed to leave the scene I created earlier.
I finally stopped at the thought of what if I was wrong all along, I quickly changed my thoughts to; remember she cheated that�s why she left I cleared my mind after some hours sitting alone and realizing I may never find answers to what am looking for sitting down in my car.
I quickly drove home, and questioned my gate man.
Me: Do you remember your madam�s friend, the doctor I was exchanging words with the last time.
He said he was here two times before he visited again the last time. Do you know when he came and what he did when he came around.
Gate man: Oh, the doctor Oga, he came first time with some two women to see Madam, and second time he came with the other woman. Some fine woman.
They were very happy due to the laughs coming out from the veranda, I can�t tell what they were doing inside, but they sure look so happy and having fun.
Me: Thank you, I managed to mutter, I was confused and disappointed I didn�t find anything incriminating enough to confirm what I have been blubbing about along. Could this just be a mistake?
Did I blame my wife for something she didn�t do? I went inside my room, sat for a long time, tried several times to keep the new drama out of my mind but I couldn�t. What about the text messages on her other line.
Of course she hasn�t read most of them so she can�t confirm. I need to get to the bottom of this.
I went ahead to Bab�s room, which am fully aware she hasn�t been to the house in a long time. I looked around, there and then I realized most of her things are not in place.
…to be continued