Love Me Again – Episode 4

� Christabel Hilda Anani. (Loudest Thoughts)

�The answer is not ANGER, sometimes you just need someone to talk to and a shoulder to cry on�

The next morning, everything seemed weird. As Clyde made out of the house without his breakfast as usual, Bebe also left later.

I felt lonely, I called Livie, we talked for a while, and then I thought of my dad. I dialed his number and he picked on the first ring.

Dad: Hello Wilson here, who am i speaking with I couldn�t help myself and I started crying amidst the mention of daddy.

Dad: Barbara is that you, talk to me, what�s going on I quickly hanged up and laid on my bed, sleep came unannounced.

When I woke up, I missed 11 calls, 9 from my family and 2 from Bebe. I quickly called her first and she said she�s on her way to my end so I decided to wait, While contemplating on whether to call my family back.

I knew I had to at a point. Bebe came over and we talked for a while on which counsellor to see I suggested our friend Mrs Oke, I decided to call her and book an appointment since with her, Clyde wouldn�t object. She was free that afternoon so Bebe and I drove there.

Mrs Oke: How are you my friend, you got me worried after the call. I hope everything is okay with you.

Me: Julia, that�s her first name. Everything is not okay, I then narrated to her what has been the issue for close to a year and a half now.

Mrs Oke: Barbara I knew it the moment the small talks started between you guys when we visited You guys seemed different from the Clyde and Barbara we knew, But then we thought you guys were having a bad day, So I told Bryan to let it go.

Me:How did you figure that out, were we that obvious? And why didn�t you say anything.

Julia: We are friends, and friends know each other so well. But then what do you need from me now. How do you want to go about it?

Me: I know he respects you a lot, at first I thought it was just something that will blow away soon.

But now am pretty sure it�s beyond that, and I can�t stand and watch myself go through this pain I was enduring it hoping it will be over soon.

I just need my husband back, he seems too far away, but I know he listens to you May be you can convince him for the counselling sessions, I really need to know what my offense was, why he is treating me this way.

Julia: Alright my dear, will talk to my husband and see if he can be present for the counselling session Please take it easy, we will talk him through this.

Me:Thank you, we gave each other a hug and I left with Bebe, who was just sitting staring at us throughout my meeting with Julia. She dropped me home and drove away.


As soon as I entered the room, I saw Clyde with a paper sitting on the couch, I walked pass him and he yelled. Hey you, don�t you know how to greet?

I turned and muttered good evening, He just threw the paper i saw him holding earlier to my face I picked it up, made an attempt to read but I just couldn�t I dropped to the floor and started crying.

He stood up and walked pass me upstairs, there and then I found the need to call my dad. Because I am definitely going back home just that this time with a broken heart. But I dare not tell my Dad that part of my story.

Me: Hello dad, it�s your baby girl. He complained of calling several times which I apologized for.

I was surprised even though I was at the verge of losing my marriage to a divorce Which was just thrown out to my face as if the past years meant nothing, I had the courage to stop crying when I heard my dad�s voice.

Dad:Baby, how have you been, how is marriage, your mum told me you aren�t fine. Has that man succeeded in destroying you?

Me: Dad, not again, that man is my husband. Whatever mum has told you is not true. I am fine, you worry too much for nothing and thank you for not forgetting me. Dad: and why is your voice trembling, Talk to me or I will come down to Nigerian and whisk you away.

Me: Dad I called because, I miss you and wanted to clear the tension between us and apologize for not following your orders.

Dad: baby I have forgiven you, but promise me if you ever need any kind of help, Your home will always be yours. Whatever it is, I wouldn�t bring my parents into my marriage, not ever I have already failed the third party rule but then I trust the people around me right now.

Just then Julia called and said she heard from her husband about the divorce papers. Apparently Bryan has spent a week trying to talk Clyde out of it but he has refused, So we should all meet tomorrow.


Early the next day, Bebe came waiting to take me to Julia�s office.

We got there, just when my husband came in from wherever he has been spending the night these days.

Julia: You are all welcome, so as you are all aware of situations.

My husband and I will like to know your minds.

If you are for the counseling or you still want to go ahead with the divorce.

Me: to decide I just wanted to know what wrong I have done to deserve this kind of broken marriage.

Julia spoke up.

Clyde over to you, answer your wife.

Clyde:Julia I don�t have to give an explanation to this lazy cheat of a wife.

Bebe nearly slapped him with those eyes of hers, surprisingly I was just so calm.

Julia: you think your wife cheated on you or you know she has and still does and please no insulting of each other, let�s be calm and find solution to this problem.

Clyde:I know she has with that doctor friend of hers, Livie.

Please I just don�t want to be married to her anymore.

Me:You know and you have evidence of that?

Cut me that crap, between you and me, who always meet his partners at the Majestic Hotel in Lagos, huh! And you dare call me a cheat.

Livie and I were good friend until you told me to stop seeing him, Which I did because I love you.

What wouldn�t I do for your happiness? I love you, and there was no other man as you think.

Can�t a woman have male friends anymore when she is married?

I don�t know where that is coming from, but I always tell you whenever I need to meet Livie.

You sometimes tag along, what�s the problem again.

When did you start distrusting me as the love of your life?

I mean I lost my family because of you, do I have to lose something for you again.

My good friend, yes; I lost him too for you What again, Clyde, answer me.

Clyde: you are here lamenting like an angel, as if you don�t know what am talking about.

It wasn�t once, it wasn�t twice. I saw you guys together.

Me: infact I don�t know what you are talking about, Just tell me when and what you mean you saw us together.

Clyde: Am not here to argue with a tramp like you, besides he has seen whatever he needs to on the examination table. Do you have to go offering again?

Me:Bryan, have you made the adjustment to the papers as I asked last night.

Bryan: Yes I did, but are you sure of what you want to do?

Clyde: what adjustments is she talking about Bryan? Talk to me.

Bryan: your wife doesn�t want anything from you as you stated in your divorce paper, she just wants about two months to get herself back to San Francisco.

She doesn�t need your help, she can sort herself out.

Clyde: And you didn�t tell me that because, well that�s not a problem, so far as she�s out of my hair in 2months, am fine.

Besides she can afford to transport herself back, she can run to Livie for help that�s all she�s good at these days.

Me:You think this is about needing someone or money I already had money before you met me, so don�t make it seem like, I go offering myself to men for money.

Trust me, you will live to regret this Clyde, and when you do,it will be too late.

Because there will be nothing left to salvage, Now pass me that piece of paper, I grabbed it from Bryan and signed.

Julia and Bryan thank you so much. Will call later.

I grabbed my handbag and Bebe confused as to what I just did, as she never spoke a word in there.


I was silence throughout our drive home which Bebe insisted I stay at her end.

I called Livie later at Bebe�s end, he came confused as to what i was blubbing about over the phone.

Now it�s Bebe�s turn to speak; I hope the allegations made against her are not true I trust my friend wouldn�t do anything like that, but it�s you I don�t trust.

Come down, I said amidst tears.

Livie: am surprised all these went on and madam here never bothered to tell me about it.

I admit I like Barbara but as a friend, besides I have a partner of 5 years.

5 years? Bebe retorted! Wow, so why are you not married yet, 5 years is a long time.

Livie: we just understand each other, we are practically married already, and just the ring is missing We both hate the idea of putting on a ring.

We signed our own vows, hanging on our wall and that�s it, we are married Or whatever we call it, we are happy with each other, and Barby here knows my wife so well.

They met several times over coffee, after I introduced them.

So I don�t know what your husband is talking about.

Bebe: wow, I like this. Well am glad I don�t have to worry about you.

Livie: My partner will say this is stupid.

Me:that�s fine, am sure I will be okay.

Just greet Malia for me when you get home.

Livie: If you ever need anything don�t hesitate I left the next day to my house, well that�s not my house anymore Just for Clyde to question my whereabouts last night.

Clyde: where do you think you are coming from?

Me: Does that concern you, or didn�t you read my terms and condition of living in this house.

If you haven�t; it says I have no obligation towards you and am free to go where I want to and bring home whoever I want to So clear off my face, or you will see the other side of me For once, I like the way am handling a heartbreak.

Maybe because somehow am still stupidly in love with him.

I woke up late, since it was a Saturday, walked to the kitchen and met my ex-husband trying to fry egg which am not sure he has ever done.

The last time he tried it was a disaster, so I intentionally stroll around pretending I was looking for something I couldn�t find. He keeps looking back to see what I was doing, then I heard him shout, �ouch�

He burnt his hand while trying to hold the handle of the pan with once again his disastrous fried egg.

He got it burnt again, I couldn�t help but laugh I quickly fixed my own egg, and sat beside him at the table. He gave me a look which I have never seen before.

Was he starting to regret?

I just gave him the rest of my egg and left to the kitchen.

He seemed like he wouldn�t take it, so l left it on the table. I walked pass and he has eaten it, leaving his burnt one for the dog I think I smiled to myself and went upstairs.

Days passed by, and I realized I had to tell my parents I would be home in about some few weeks I was sitting outside by the pool one Saturday when I saw my ex-husband, in a polo shirt and his favorite jean trousers.

Those were the same i gave to him as a gift on several of our shopping journey�s we use to go on I stared at him for a couple of minutes, my tears started to flow I told myself, I was never going to cry again, last week, but here am I now.

I quickly wiped my face with the back of my hand, am I starting to regret signing that paper I saw him walking towards his car, he looked so much handsome in that polo shirt now, unlike before I always tease him, the shirt looks on him like he just came out of a 30 days fast.

I kept watching him until he drove out, I was cooking lunch when Livie informed me he was going to come over with Malia. I thought that was a bad idea, but then I remembered I had no obligations towards Clyde so I can decide to do whatever I want to.

…to be continued

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