Love Me Again – Episode 1

� Christabel Hilda Anani. (Loudest Thoughts)

Gosh its 6: 00 Am already, I stretched my arms towards my alarm and managed to say; D–n it Babs why didn�t you wake me up, I asked my sleepy wife struggling to get out of her sleep. I ignored her and quickly rushed to the washroom, within some few minutes I was out of there and on my way out with my briefcase and my car keys.

Darling am sorry but breakfast would be ready in 5minutes, I ignored her once more and off I drove away. I felt guilty treating her as such this morning but am beginning to think she�s getting too lazy lately, at least that was the only way I could defend my actions towards her lately.


�Feelings of the first day is like buying a new something you can�t do without�

My wife Barbara and I got married two years ago in a small congregation in San Francisco where I met her during one of my business trips. With all the nice stories about how couples meet, ours was different.

A very awkward one for that matter. After business one evening, I decided to go out for a walk, along the way, I felt the urge to urinate, as I entered I met this African lady in the males washroom who didn�t even notice I entered, her door was left ajar, I quickly took out my phone and on the shutter sound of the camera, she came out of her absent mindness forgetting she was yet to pull up her �pant�.

There the fuss begun, she threatened to ki*ll me if I do not delete the picture, I also threatened to put it on social media.

She got furious and we started exchanging words in the washroom. I couldn�t tell why I was pissed but then I convinced myself probably because she was at the wrong place which of course didn�t make sense as to why I should make a big deal of it. For some couple of minutes, someone else entered and we pretended we were fine.

Until I heard the guy say; gosh get a room. Barbara stared at me and for a second I saw something else in her eyes. She walked out and I followed forgetting what I came to do. I said please wait, she kept walking and I kept closing the distance, until she got to what seemed like her car, about to open and I shouted don�t you want your picture anymore.

Then I thought I caught her attention but she looked back and said keep it for all I care. She got into her car and tried driving off which I nearly got hit because I was standing in her drive way.

I could see her fuming in the car and finally got out, WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT , and I replied I think I like you, at least let me apologize for what happened back there. Okay fine, can you get out of my way now she said. I got out of her way instantly having mixed feelings.


�when you feel its� right go get it�

A week after, I met Barbara on my hotel corridor. I actually went to see a business partner at that particular hotel, I instantly forgot what I came to do even though it will cause me the main reason of my trip I quickly rushed to her because since our encounter I have been longing to see her again, I don�t know why but that day I had goose bumps all over me.

“That does not really explain my eagerness to see her again, but I know I like her.”

This time around she was not so tensed but smiled to my greetings. Hey you again, yes me again I said and reached out for a handshake, we talked and she told me she was on her way out and gave me her room number.

After she left, I told myself that was easy. In the evening I went to the reception to put a call through to her, she gave the go ahead to see her. I knocked on her door and she came out, OH you are the Clyde guy. I nodded my head simply because I was dumbfounded of the beauty staring me in the eyes. I was jolted out of my reverie when she said come in.

I was nervous but then the night went well, until I realized I was extending my stay in San Francisco because of Barbara. We became best friends and later got to know when we met in the urinal she was angry with her dad who was bent on marrying her off to another family friend.

She sounded like her Dad was so fearful, well families that have money to book a hotel for a whole year must be so rich and powerful, “I thought Barbara is a beauty to behold”, it took me some time to win her heart, close to a year, among all the closures, the s-x, romance, stories, fights and when the parents had to leave her life for her because she didn�t want to go back to them in London.

Though I travelled from Nigeria to San Francisco for business, I found love, so I went back home and came back with some of my family to marry her. Since the Dad Mr. Wilson was bent on marrying her to another they did not honor our invitation to the wedding.

Barbara left home and was staying in San Francisco for close to a year so she made some few friends that made it easy getting married. She was contemplating on going back until she met love and since then we got back to Nigeria.


�A little patience to listen and understand why things happen won�t ki*ll you�


I was in my office after storming out of the house without breakfast when my secretary rang me, my wife was around, before I could say let her in, Barbara was already in my office with a sad face and lunch box.

Clyde am sorry it happened again, but I brought you lunch. I asked her to leave it on the table and I was on my way out leaving her in my office confused, when she asked where I was going as if she is my boss.

Am sure she didn�t see how I looked at her, because she was still expecting an answer, I responded in a very sarcastic manner; this is a working environment not a kitchen or a restaurant, if you don�t mind I have a meeting to attend, don�t wait up for me, I might be late.

I walked out without turning back. I must admit in the past, Babs brings me food and I never complained, but today I did. We have never had big arguments which would lead to me being rude as I did today but am guessing its just about the food.


This is how it has been after about 3years of us living together, I suddenly get offended over every little thing i used to laugh at when we were still newbies in our marriage, and I couldn�t help but conclude after 2years of tieing the knot, I out grew those feelings I had.

Barbara and I dated for a year and got married in our second year and after the second year, I realized the love is replaced by hatred. So basically 3years of living together, I now think we weren�t meant to love each other. I didn�t think marriage was this much a baggage, you think you know someone well enough to spend your whole life with, but then there are little things you might get to adjust to later.

Later in the evening, while driving back home I kept asking myself why I am so furious over just a little thing. Was it because it�s becoming a pattern or because I felt she was never like that and might become a problem when we finally start having kids. Yes! Kids, we�ve been trying since we got married.

We planned on adopting but wanted to give it a little time. By the time I realized I was home, instantly greeted by my wife. Darling welcome, how was your day.

I replied fine. She quickly dropped my suit and bag. Rushed to the kitchen to get the dinner table laid whiles I sat there watching TV. Darling food is ready. She knows I like to eat before taking my bath. We sat to eat and just for her to keep starring at her food.

I ignored once more, and rushed down to the washroom to throw up Barbara what is that! I fumed, she came rushing to the room.

Clyde what is it, are you okay Are you asking me? Ask the food you cooked.

Clyde am sorry, I just�. You just what huh I dashed out and luckily, I was still in my work attire, I took my car keys and left. I went to a restaurant closer to our house and ordered eba and agushie stew, as I was eating I thought to myself; Barbara is a good cook, never has she cooked such a food for me.

Though I would admit we�ve been having some issues for the past year regarding our feelings for each other, where we barely talked anymore, she knows I don�t joke with my food.

I can�t remember the last time I touched my wife, though she always seemed not to be bothered, I just prayed it wouldn�t come to the time where I had to resort eating outside or beating her up.

But today it has! Well she might have been tired or something is bothering her. I saw her stare at the food during dinner. She gets that way when she has something bothering her.

At least I know her to that extent. And I always end up being the one to find out everytiime. I hope she is feeling okay, I asked myself, Aaah Clyde what do you even care.

Yes what do I care, but then it got to a point I get worried when she�s not looking cheerful I hurriedly ate and drove home, I saw Barbara sleeping on the couch, there and then I knew she was hurting, old feelings came rushing back in.

I quickly remembered when we were in love and decided to get married. What happened for me to suddenly feel am falling out of love with my wife. I carried her upstairs, one thing about Babs is she is cute and easy to carry, While on the way she clinched to my shoulder and slept off I was awoke half of the night starring at her while she slept peacefully beside me.

I felt some adrenaline rushing through my body while I runned my hand through her silky hair that once our happy days makes me droll all over her. I then cast my mind back to what once was love now hatred.

…to be continued

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