In The Dark – Episode 32

A Story By Stanley Oluwatosin

My mom paused and my heart beat increased.

“Nelly?” I asked myself but i was audible enough to be heard. Kelvin squeezed my hand and told me to be quiet. I kept my calm and fixed my eyes on the big screen.

After drinking from a bottle of water, My mom adjusted herself and continued

“You might not notice my emotions the day you rushed to me and told me about Nelly. Though i tried to be strong, i was weak to the bones but all in all, i was able to hide the truth.

I prayed to God to stop the Stanleys from visiting us the day they had dinner with us but my prayer was rejected. You remember me sending you to the room with nelly, after dinner? That was because there was lots to be discussed.

It turned out that the two families had the same goal, which was keeping the secret safe. We concluded on telling the both of you that your resemblance was just a coincidence and that was exactly what the both of you believed. I was grateful none of you thought about investigating further, probably by having a blood test or something.

The secret was kept so safe that none of my family knew about it, i only confided in your late dad but the truth can’t be kept forever. I know “Who am I” will be the question on your mind right now. An Adopted child or a biological child. You will find out soon but first of all, Nelly is your twin sister. This is my story”

****

{Lillian Williams}

My name is Lillian and i am a native of Edo state. I was the favourite child of my parent and been the wealthy couple they were, spending on me was something they do without a second thought. My younger brother (Mike) was dull right from his nursery school and this made my parents focus more on my education.

I graduated as an accounting student from a private university in Abuja back in the year 2000. Then i was just twenty years.

My parents decided that i should put in for masters immediately, after which I was to acquire my Doctorate degree. I was the apple of my parent’s eyes and i was the envy of my peer.

In the year 2001, I traveled to Canada after all the preparation for my masters had been finalized. Though i was still young, my parent believed i would be just fine.

I had an apartment to myself in Canada and i had a ride, my parent took care of it all.

Life was good, all i had to do was to study hard and have fun. I did’nt make lots of friends but i made one who changed my life.

He introduced himself as James, he was also in Canada to acquire his Masters. I met him in a shopping mall one afternoon. That very day, i went to shop for my perfume. He walked up to me and made a comment on how much he loved my scent,he enventually asked for the product I was into.

We ended up buying two bottles of my perfume, which he paid for. From there we exchanged contact and we became friends.

James was a likable person, he was homely and fun to be with. During our friendship, i found out that he was the son of a Minister back in Nigeria and he was from Delta state. I did’nt care about his position or his dad’s status, all that mattered was the connection between us.

We had lots of things in common and everything worked perfectly well, it was just like a magic.

On 22nd of March 2001, James asked me out. Funny enough he did’nt ask me to be his girlfriend, instead he requested me to be his fiancee. Even before James asked me out, i already said “Yes!” a million times.

James introduced me to his father on one of his visit to Canada and i also got to meet his sister. With james, i felt happy and safe. Oh! he was all i ever wanted.

I spent lesser time in my apartment ever since my relationship with James kicked off.

Though my parent had warned me about pre-marital sex,I allowed James have his way when he requested for it. To me, it did’nt matter if we had sex before or after marriage,all that mattered was me spending the rest of my life with James.He was my Prince charming.

My relationship with James was beautiful and our sex life was awesome.It got to a point that we stopped using protection while making out. The hot love we had, made me forget all about taking precautions, to me, MY LIFE WAS PERFECT.

After two months of been in a relationship with James, i started feeling funny. I got malaria pills and administered it but the feelings did’nt go away.As the educated youth that i was,I ran to goggle and searched for the illness my symptoms were related.All the result i got, pointed to pregnancy.I knew i had been having unprotected sex but i did’nt want to believe that i was pregnant.

I hid all the symptoms from James and got a pregnancy test kit.Though I was scared,i decided to carry out the test myself.

I rushed to my apartment and locked the door behind me after getting the kit.

With the test kit on my table,i added two drops of my urine with shaky hands.

Hot tears rushed down my cheek when two coloured bands (C&T) appeared on the kit.

I WAS POSITIVE”

My mom paused and wiped the tears in her eyes with the back of her hand. She then took a deep breathe and continued.

“My world was shattered when i found out that i was pregnant. The first thought that crossed my mind was how disappointed my parent would be. The thought of hurting my parent’s feelings made me extremely angry. I smashed the kit on the wall and screamed out James name. I even punched my stomach consecutively, hoping to have a miscarriage but nothing happened.

I thought about my life and thought about my lifestyle, the only word i could describe myself with was “Disappointment”

I was a disappointment to myself, my family and all those that thought highly of me.

I looked at my stomach and the thought of it becoming swollen in months made me crazy. For once in my life, I caused the selfish love James claimed to have for me. Though i knew i was the architect of my misfortune, I put the blames on James.

I could’nt call my parent to inform them and i could not run to James for help, i decided to shut everybody out.

The first thing i did was to smash my phone on the floor, after which i locked the doors to my apartment and i threw the keys into the refuse- bin.

I would strip myself Unclad and sit in the bath thub. I would then run the shower and cry my heart out while my body gets soaked.

I would also listen to James shouting my name and banging my door, after which he would leave in frustration.

Nothing really mattered to me, or probably let me say i was’nt thinking. The only thought that was on my mind was how embarrassing it would be to travel back to Nigeria with a heavy tommy instead of a masters certificate. Life was really worthless.

At some point, i wondered how my once perfect life could become a difficult puzzle. A puzzle i could not fix.

****

After a week of shutting the world out, i got tired of hiding under my under my blanket, hoping all that happened was a bad dream and it would soon go away. I licked my wound and decided to stay strong, i believed i was’nt the first to be faced with the challenges i was facing and i believed i could over come it all. I was so sure even though i did’nt have a way out.

I had a long bath and fixed myself up, after which i fixed my apartment. I got the sim card from the broken phone and got the keys to my apartment from the refuse bin.

I looked into the mirror and promised myself to be strong, if not for anything, for the child growing inside of me.

I abandoned my car and took a cab to James apartment. Throughout the drive, i continued to rehearse what i would tell James.

I met James absent when i arrived his apartment and i could not reach him since i did’nt have a phone. I leaned on the pole infront of his house and waited for him. Throughout my period of waiting, i continued to imagine James possible reaction after i inform him, all i could come up with was to wait for his arrival.

After over a hour of waiting for James without him showing up, i decided to take my leave. I was almost out of his street when i heard someone scream my name. I could recognize his voice even from million miles, he was the only love of my life. I turned back and my eyes met James, like a little girl, i could remember running into his arms.

He held me close to his heart and carried me in. All the anger i built against him disappeared as soon as i sighted him.

James dropped me on a couch and knelt before me. With care in his eyes,he held my hand and asked for all that happened.

I apologized to James and told him that i was going through some rough period of my life. At first James was mad at me for shutting him out just because i was down. Just like the real man he was, he instructed me to open up to him.

I made my gaze meet James’s and said “Swidy, I am pregnant”.

James froze and stepped away from me. I could remember him holding his head as if he had an attack.

His reaction made wonder if he understood me or not. I moved closer to James and held his hand. I made him look at me and said “James say something, I said I’m pregnant, I’m carrying your child, your baby”

James flung my hand and said “pregnant?? for who?”

My heart sinked and my mouth went dry”

“James flung my hand away and said “Pregnant? For who?”

My heart sinked and my mouth went dry.

At that moment, i was confused on where James was driving at with his rhetoric question and my greatest fear was been denied by love.

I waved a hand into james face and asked him what he ment by the question he asked.

James repeated the question and i gave him a reflex slap. I was so mad at him.

I shouted at him and questioned his love for me in the first place. I called him names and told him he was a coward. I even went to the extent of telling him he was just like every other guy. My heart was broken but i could not force James to take responsiblities, all i could do was to rant and speak out my mind.

When i was contended with all that i have said, i decided to leave since James did’nt utter a word.

I was about to pick up my bag when James called my name and said “Lilly, is it mine?”

I would have landed another slap on James face for his question but when i looked at him, i realised he was just as confused as i was. I realised he was not questioning me because he did’nt want to take responsibilities but he was doing it because he wanted to be sure.

I dropped my bag and told James he was responsible. He reached for my hand and slowly led me to the chair.

James apologized for asking an unreasonable question and he confessed his love for me once more.

James made me realise that he could not take responsibility for my pregnancy because of his family status and his carrier.

James promised me heven and earth on the condition that i would get rid of the pregnancy. He told me we would get married soon, after which we could have kids.

Though i did’nt take hid to my parent’s advice against pre-marital sex, their advice against abortion was something i did’nt lost.

I stood up to James and told him that i would never abort for no reason. Though i had no idea of how i would survive, i was sure i would never commit the sin of abortion. I spat into James face and told him to go to hell with his promises. I promised him that never to come back to him and I promised myself that I would survive no matter what.

Though i tried to be strong, i was so weak deep down.

****

After leaving James apartment, i was lost in my world for two weeks. I did’nt step out of my room, i forgot about school and i did’nt even bother to contact my parent. I allowed time heal my wound but the scar did’nt fade away.

After two weeks of hiding from the truth, i decided it was time to move on and take responsibilities for myself.

The first move i made was to gather all the material things James gave to me. I packed it all in a box and dumped it in front of his house.

I got a new cell phone and i placed a call through to my parent. I told them i was fine and i lied that school was great. My parent were happy to hear from me and so was i.

I also decided to go to a hospital and carryout an official pregnancy test.

“St. Nicholas hospital” was the first hospital that came to my mind and that was where i ended up having the pregnancy test.

Even though i knew i was pregnant, I found myself nervous when i was waiting for the test and after awhile of waiting i was handed the result. I burst into tears immediately and all the emotions i thought were hidden crawled out. I cried my pain out and i found my strength afterward.

Right there i decided to bare my pain alone, without my family or the world.

I pulled myself together and requested to register for Anti-natal treatment.

I was directed to an office after settling my bill. I met with the youngest doctor in the hospital and ever since then my life took a new turn.

***

He introduced himself has “Dr. Abiodun”.

He was gentle and homely even though i was harsh on him whenever his question get personal. The Dr. ended up jotting down my number after examining my condition properly.

****

Three months later, i was beginning to have a protruding stomach and i was becoming uncomfortable with my body. I visited the hospital regularly and i made the young doctor my adviser.

After the first three months, i was scheduled for scan.

On that very day, i had mixed feelings. I was happy i would be meeting my unborn child and i was sad because i had no one to go with. All in all, i got ready to see my future.

I was visibly shaking when i laid on my back infront of the scanning machine. I wanted to be happy to see my unborn child but i was scared he/she would end up blaming me for the mistakes i made.

Dr. Abiodun reduced the pressure on me by making me tell him my desired sex and the name i would love to give to my child. I got carried away by the talk and shortly after the baby appeared on the scanner.

I asked the doctor to interpret what was on the screen.

He smiled and said “You are a beautiful mother of a set of twin”

“Twin?!!!” I shouted as i fixed my gaze on the screen.

LIFE WAS UNFAIR!

¤¤¤

I looked away from the screen and bowed my head in tears.The scan result was something that broke my heart.”how am i suppose to raise a set of twins?” i asked myself.

The young doctor held my hand, He smiled widely and said “though you did not ask for the sex of your kids, it’s my duty to tell you. You are carrying two beautiful girls ma’am.I’m hoping,they will be as beautiful as you are”

I did’nt give a response to the doctor’s speech,i only thought about how everything turned out to be negative and it was as if God himself was mad at me.

At first,i got pregnant out of wedlock.Secondly i was rejected by love and just when i was hoping for a boy, the scan result revealed that i was carrying two girls.

Everything seemed imperfect for me and i doubted if my decision to keep the pregnancy was the right one. I decided to ask the doctor if i could have an abortion and go back to my previous life.

I seek to meet with the young doctor privately after the scan test.He invited me to his office and i followed with my heart in my mouth.I was scared of him going against my decision to have an abortion and that was exactly what i got from him.

I informed Dr. Abiodun of my decision to have an abortion immediately we settled in his office and he strongly went against my decision.He went on and on to tell me the implications of abortion and how beautiful it is to see one’s first fruit.

Though the doctor was a good counselor,i was still bent on having an abortion. My stubbornnes made the doctor seek for a tangible reason for my decision.At first, i did’nt want to respond to his question but i eventually did when i saw the concern in his eyes.

Ever since i left James,i did’nt receive love or care from no one,it’s been just me caring for myself.

The doctor sat close to me and told me to confide in him. I got emotional and i unleashed all my hidden pain.I narrated my story without leaving a stone untouched.The young doctor gave me a listening ear and a open arm when my emotions got a better part of me.I felt relieved after sharing my mistakes with DR. Abiodun and i felt better when he offered me a piece of advice.The doctor’s advice was timely and it renewed the hope i lost.All in all, the doctor promised to stay with me through my rough time, he promised to help patch my ugly past.My faith grew and i became a stronger fighter.

****

Right after the meeting with the Dr,he insisted on following me home as a new found friend.

I accepted after much persuasion and i waited in his office for an hour because he was yet to complete his shift.

After the wait, the Dr. Signed out and we both left for my apartment.

The doctor was fun to be with,he was jovial and lively. Over the short period of time we spent together,he made me stop calling him “Dr. Abiodun”and he instructed me to call him “Biodun” instead.

Biodun decided that i should make a nursery for my girls and he also selected the room that i would use.Together we cleared the room and we went shopping for the nursery.Though i did’nt want the pay to be on him, he insisted that it was just a penny from him.We also shopped for maternity dresses before we enventually went to his apartment.With my experience with James,i was not suppose to trust men no longer but Biodun stayed with me irrespective of my condition.His beautiful promises and his act of loyalty made me trust him completely.Though we were just friends,his presence ment alot.

****

Throughout the period of my pregnancy,i kept in contact with my parent.I did’nt reveal a thing to them and i did’nt give them a reason to doubt the fact that my education was going all fine.

Throughout this period as well,my path never for ones cross with James’s.

Throughout this same period of time Biodun was the only family i had.

****

During the 8th month of my pregnancy,I was about to turn off my light after a long day with Biodun when i felt a sharp pain in my stomach.I paced my room just as Biodun instructed me to whenever i had such pain. I felt a strange urge to ease myself suddenly and i made to the restroom.I was yet to pull off my pant when i felt an outburst in my pant. Before i could say “Jack!” water started flowing down my pant.I was sacred to the bone.

I slowly got my phone and i dialed Biodun’s line with a shaky hand.He accepted at the first ring and he promised to come around immediately i informed him of my present condition.

Biodun came in just when the pain was getting immense. He hurriedly grab my maternity bag and he carried me into his car.My fear was out of this world when i realised that i was about to bring my babies into the world.I bit my lower lips and i looked at my stomach in fright.

****

At exactly 12:00pm onthe 7th of March,i screamed with the whole of my strength and the cry of my babies filled the air at St. Nicholas hospital.

I looked at my girls and i all i felt was the joy of motherhood.

NOTHING CAN BE MORE FULFILLING”

…to be continued