My step became slow, i saw two women trying to hold Nelly’s mom, i saw the guy nelly was betrothed to and i saw nelly’s dad sitted in a chair in the reception, two men were patting him on the shoulder. Without been told, i knew nelly was gone, far away from this world, far away from where i could see her again, far away from everybody that loved her. My mind went blank as tears started running down my cheek. I felt dizzy and I leaned on the wall of the reception, something struck my heart and i felt a great pain. I felt like a part of me had left me, i felt like i had lost something very important to me. I allowed the tears roll freely down my cheek as i remembered all about nelly. She came to me like a rushing wind and she left me like a burning fire. She burnt a part of me down and went with the ashes. I wept like a baby as the memories of Nelly flashed through my brain. It was a great loss, i did not want to cry but i ended up weeping.
“Nelly!” i heard someone scream her name, i looked up and it saw Nelly mom. I could see the state of pain she was and i could feel her loss. Less than 48hours ago, she was a happy woman, but the woman that stood infront of me then was a sad mother. Nelly’s mom rushed at me and gripped my arm, she looked up at me and said “Nelly, is this you? Is this you my baby? Are you back to me? I knew you will never leave me, the doctor said you were dead but i never believed him. I knew you will come back to me my child. Promise me you will never leave again, i need you to promise me you will never make me cry, promise me Nel, i need you to promise me” she shouted and brooke down in tears again. I was so confuse on what to do. “How will i console this mother that just lost her only fruit? How will her tell her i am not the daughter she lost when she choose to ignore the truth? How will I tell her that Nelly will never come back to her? How will i tell her that she should weep for her child and give her a final respect?” all this thought ran through my mind and i could not stop my tears. If only tears could wake the dead, nelly would have woken up. I knelt on the floor beside Nelly’s mom and took her into my arms. I ran my hand over her hair and said “Mom, don’t be sad. I am here for you”
My words comforted her a bit and she stopped to weep. The other women around came to her and took her away.
I stood up and went to Nelly’s dad. He was stronger than his wife and he was quiet but lost in thought. I offered my condolence and he said “Thank you my daughter” i could feel he was trying to find a daughter in me. I moved closer to him and hugged him before going in search of Jordan.
I met Jordan in a corner of the hospital, the place was quiet and i could tell he was trying to avoid the public. I tapped him on he shoulder and he raised his head. His eyes were blood red and for the first time in my life, i saw Jordan cry. I took him into my arms and he wept like a child, calling nelly’s name every five minutes in the middle of his tears. I consoled Jordan and told him to be strong, he only noded without uttering a word.
We heard wailing in the hospital and we rushed inside. We met Nelly’s mom weeping and screaming her child’s name on top of her voice. Nelly’s body was been discharged and was been taken to the burial ground for a final burial. I understood how Mrs. Stanley must have felt. She rushed to the front of the ambulance and stood there, stopping the driver from moving the car. All she kept shouting was “My child is not dead, give her to me!”. Her reaction made me remember my mom’s death and i could compare the pain she was feeling with the pain i felt when my mom died. Mrs. Stanley was practically dragged away from the ambulance and she was taken to her car.
Jordan could not drive,so i did the drive to the burial ground. Nelly’s mom was stopped from witnessing the burial of her child and Jordan was also too fragile to see Nelly been lowered to mother earth but i witnessed everything.I felt it was necessary to stand by Mr. Stanley like a daughter,i held his hand throughout the final right.
Dust they say will always be dust.Nelly was lowered six feets below the ground and just like a bad dream, she was gone and never to come back.I hid my face in my face towel and wept for my belove friend.Tho we had our differences she was one in a million.Again i was happy i forgave her and i spent alittle time with her before she finally died.
After the burial i could not witness all the weeping again, so i took Jordan home and went home as well.
Immediately i got home, i went into Mi mom’s arm and said “She is dead, my look alike is no more” she took me into her arms and allowed me to cry. I cried for a long time and when i had no strength to cry no more i went into my room. Dad and mom also went to offer their condolences to the stanleys.
I called Khole and brooke the news to her.
IT WAS A BAD DAY
It was a week after Nelly’s death but it still felt like yesterday. I had resumed work but i was not active. Daily from work, i would go to the stanleys to console nelly’s mom. My presence always console her. She would ask me to sit on her lap and tell me things about nelly, sometimes she would cry and sometimes she would laugh, it all depend on her mood. I made myself available to the stanleys the more since that was the least i could do for them.
After the stanley’s residence, i would go and check on Jordan occasionally but whenever i leave the stanleys lately i would place a call through to Jordan. I tried to be strong, though i was weak inside. I wanted to be there for everybody.
Work was becoming more hectic. The overhead bridge my crew and i presented report on months ago was completed and the president was invited to commission the bridge. My crew and I were to cover the event for our television station in two days time. I had alot at hand, my work needed me, the stanleys needed me and Jordan needed me the most.
I was bussy checking the materials we would be needing for the event when the my phone started to ring. The caller I.D was “Maami” that was what i saved Jordan’s mom number with. I hurriedly excused myself and accepted the call. I answered the call and said “Hello”. “My dear, where are you? I do not know what is wrong with Jordan, he has been drinking and playing sorrowful music indoor since day break. He is taking nelly’s death too hard on himself and i have tried to talk to him but he would’nt listen. The thing is There is somewhere i have to be now, i do not know who else to call apart from you. Please my daughter,come over and look after him” Jordan’s mom said. I was scared of what Jordan might do to himself. I told his mom i would be there in ten minutes and i rushed back to the office. I took permission from Mr.larry who was my department head and i rushed to Jordan’s house.
I met Jordan’s mom fully dressed in the living room. She was happy to see me,she hugged me and told me how sad Jordan had been ever since nelly died, she pleaded with me to take care of her child and i promised her to do my best. Jordan’s mom left and i head to his room.
I WOULD TELL YOU THAT
I LOVE YOU TONIGHT
BUT I KNOW THAT I’VE
GOT TIME ON MY SIDE
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
WHY ARE YOU LEAVING SO SOON?
IS THERE SOMEWHERE ELSE
BETTER FOR YOU?
WHAT IS LOVE, IF YOU ARE NOT HERE WITH ME?
WHAT IS LOVE, IF IT’S NOT
WHAT IS LOVE, IF IT’S JUST
UPS AND LEAVES?
WHAT IS LOVE IF YOU ARE
NOT HERE NO MORE?
WHAT IS LOVE, IF YOU ARE NOT
WHAT IS LOVE?
WHAT IS LOVE?
(Veronica Bozeman – Empire)
That was the song Jordan was playing loudly in his room.The lyrics of the song hit me and a tear rolled down my cheek as i remembered my lost as well.I cleaned my eyes and composed myself. “I have to be strong, to console Jordan” i said to myself.
I opened the door and entered into his room.Jordan was sitted on the floor, backing the door and he had a bottle of alcoholic drink in his hand.I could not help but feel pity for Jordan, he must have been very close with Nelly for the past six years and now, she is gone.
I tried to take the bottle from Jordan’s hand from behind but he tightened his grip on the bottle and he said “Mom go away, i will be fine”.I shook my head and said “Its me”.Jordan turned back and looked at me, he released the bottle and stoodup. He laid on his bed and faced the wall.I paused the music player and i went to Jordan in bed.I touched him and said “Why are you doing this to yourself? You ought to be strong for her, you are breaking my heart this way. Please pull yourself together Jordan! Be strong for me! For nelly and even for the parent she left behind”.
He faced the ceiling, cleared his throat and said “TELL MYSELF I WOULD’NT CRY
WHEN YOU ARE GONE
BUT I KNOW ITS EASIER SAID
LOOKED AT ME, LOOK AT ME
CHOKED UP NOW
TRY TO TELL YOU BUT IT
WON’T COME OUT.
WHAT IS LOVE IF YOU ARE
NOT HERE WITH ME?
WHAT IS LOVE IF IT’S NOT GUARANTEED?
WHAT IS LOVE IF IT’S JUST
UPS AND LEAVES?
WHAT IS LOVR IF YOU’RE NOT
HERE NO MORE?
WHAT IS LOVE IF YOU ARE
NOT REALLY SURE?
WHAT IS LOVE?
WHAT IS LOVE??”
Jordan sang again and cried.I was confused on what to do.I buried my face in my palms and cried. Jordan sat properly on bed and shouted “She was closer to me than anything! She was like a sister! A blood sister.Why are you all complaining because I am mourning my lost?Can’t i just mourn her for a year? I would’nt mind mourning her for the rest of my life because she was there for me through thick and thin! I promised to make her happy but i could not fulfil my promise.I did nothing for her but she did everything for me. Everything!”
i closed my eyes and cried, i was l loosing him to nelly, even in death.
I looked at Jordan with tears in my eyes and i said “So you want to mourn her forever? You want to leave everybody behind because of nelly? You want to ignore all people that love you? You want to put a stop to our love? The love it took us this long to nurture? Jordan tell me!. Look into my eyes and tell me you do not need me no more! Go on, tell me you want to mourn her till eternity. Tell me to leave instead of showing your weakness to me. Jordan just say it!” I shouted. I fixed my gaze on Jordan for a long time, waiting for an answer. He did not reply he only climbed down from the bed and sat on the couch. I was loosing it, i was at the point of giving up on love, i could not bare to loose Jordan because of nelly again.
Words could not express how angry i was at Jordan, to avoid further mess i had to take my leave, not minding the fact that i was disobeying Jordan’s mom. “I dO not give a Bleep about the mother and son”. I said.
I wiped my tears and picked up my bag. I grabbed my phone and made for the door. “Dont leave” i heard Jordan say just when i was about to open the door. I stood rooted to a point without turning back. Jordan walked up to me and held me from behind. He leaned his head on my shoulder and said “Am so confuse right now sun shine, i just need you to stay with me baby. Please don’t leave me”
Jordan words made alot of meaning to me, i realised he was just confused and walking away would have been a huge mistake. I turned back and faced Jordan with my back on the door. I held his face and said “I know your heart is saddened because of Nelly’s death, but i need you to let me make you feel better. Tell me what is love if am not really sure of how you feel? I need to be sure baby, I just wanna be sure”. Jordan sighed and looked into my eyes. He smilled weakly and said “You want to make me feel better, please do. This pain is becoming unbearable”
I did not know how to make Jordan feel better, but i had to try my possible best. I wrapped my hand around his neck and said “How about this?” I placed my lips on Jordan’s and kissed him. I could tell He was not expecting the kiss, he only hummed and responded to the kiss. Jordan placed his hands on my hips as we continued to kiss. I kissed Jordan passionately as if my life depend on him, i would kiss his lips and suck his tongue as i caressed his head slightly. Jordan placed his hand on my as* and squeezed gently, he then patted my legs for me to climb on him. I climbed on Jordan and continued to kiss him slowly as he carried me to his bed. He placed me on my back and he climbed on top of me. I found myself wanting more of Jordan, i never knew i could be so into him and different emotions i never knew existed came to live. Jordan stopped to kiss my lips, he moved to my earlobe and kissed me gently as he whispered sweet words into my ear. I felt love and romance at the same time. Jordan placed his hand on my b**bs and gently unbutton my blouse. I felt so good as he worked on my b**bs, he would squeez and suck each of them at interval, i moaned softly as he used his mouth on my b**bs. While Jordan was still working on my b**bs, i felt his hand on the zipper of my trouser. After he unzipped, he tried to remove my trouser and during the process, he would slightly brush is hand over my private. I felt really wet and saw the need to remove my trouser which was serving as a hindrance. I raised myself up gently to make it easier for Jordan to remove my trouser. Jordan sat on the bed in between my legs and gently removed my trouser and blouse, i was left with my underwear in bed. Jordan climbed down and removed his trousers, he was left with his boxers without a shirt. I could not help but trip for his chest muscle and six packs. Jordan went for my bra immediately he joined me in bed, he released my b**bs from my bra cup and he hungrily fed on my b**bs, i felt in paradise. He removed his mouth from my b**bs and went down for my pant. He gently removed my pant and dipped a finger into my private, i felt my body shiver as i whined my waist to his touch. Jordan replaced his hand with his mouth on my private and he sucked me gently. I could feel my wetness and i could not help but feel the urge to have sex. I raised Jordan’ s head to meet my gaze and i said “Make love to me baby” I could see the shock in his eyes. I did not give him the time to respond as i immediately went for his boxer. Jordan held my hand and said “Are you sure about this? We do not have to go this far” I placed a finger on his lips and said “Shhhh Just Do It!” Jordan wanted to say something else but i stopped him with a kiss. I kissed him so passionately and moaned into his mouth. Jordan removed his d**k from his boxer and entered me.
I gave him my virginity because i loved him.
“Wake up baby” Jordan said and kissed my neck from behind. I slowly opened my eyes and I hummed, remembering what went down between myself and Jordan some hours back. “Any regrets?” Jordan asked, interrupting my thought. I replied no with a smile and turned to him. Jordan held me close to himself and kissed me fully on my lips. He removed the strand of hair in my eyes and said “Thanking you is not enough to appreciate you for loving me baby. You sacrificed something so important just to make me happy, right now i feel so worthless of this love. Sun shine, i just want you to know that I love you and i will always do. I promise to always be with you even in death. Wherever you go- I go, You love- I love, You hate- I hate, You fight- I fight, You cry- I cry, but if you leave- I will never leave you, because with you is where i belong honey. I Love you from the sky back to earth and much more”
Jordan stopped to talk and he kissed me passionately. At that moment I felt nothing but love without regret for my action.
The loud ringing of my phone,interupted my kiss with Jordan. I slowly picked my phone and checked the caller I.D, it was Mi mom. My heart skipped a bit as i accepted the call. Mi mom informed me that she would be coming home lately that night and dinner should be anything i felt like eating,she also said i should eat and sleep without waiting for her. I was relieved that My foster parents were not home. Elderly people they say do have their ways of detecting when you have sex. Jordan pulled me into his arms again and i had to fight the urge of making love with him again. I slowly stood up and made use of Jordan’s bathroom to cleanup, during which i discovered my private was alittle sore and painful but i could still manage to walk. After dressing up Jordan combed and packed my hair for me in a bid to show his love for me, though he was not really good at it, it felt romantically good.I had a long kiss with Jordan before making for the door. Jordan would pull me back and kiss me at interval as we walked to my car.Though we had shared lots of kisses but we could not get enough of each other.
I got home tired, the pain i felt in between my legs increased and i was lost on what to do.The only person i could confide in to get tips was khole,without minding the distance i place a call through to her.
Without a long pleasantry,i told khole about what went down between Jordan and I and i informed her that i needed her help on what to use to relief the pain.Khole could not stop screaming “What?!!” when i told her, she asked me if i was sure i was doing the right thing a million times before telling me to check her wardrobe for some pills. I told khole not to worry about me and ended the call. I got the pills from khole’s wardrobe immediately and took two of it with a cup of milk, after which i retired to my bed.The following day was the opening of the overhead bridge by the president, i had to sleep well, to wake up energetic for work.
“Holy crap!” I screamed immediately i opened my eyes. The time was 9:00am and i was suppose to be at work at 7:00am.I rushed to the bathroom to take my bath. The pain in between my legs had reduced thanks to khole. I hurriedly wore a jump suit on a flat shoe and left my room without makeup. I met my foster parent at the dinning room having breakfast. Mom urged me to have my breakfast but i declined and rushed into my car.
“Nancy is this your 7:00am?” Mr.larry shouted immediately he sighted me. He was outside already with my crew. I quickly apologised to my boss and the crew, after which we left in an official bus.”The president won’t be coming, his son is representing him, you are to write an official report on the event” Mr.larry briefed me on our way.
We got to the venue of the event lately.The program was scheduled for 10:00am Different broadcasting agents were scattered everywhere, waiting for the event to unfold.
Shortly after, sound of siren filled the air and the arrival of big cars followed.Force men filled everywhere as they ushered the president son, Governors, commissioners and other important politicians in.All this while i was bussy writing report.
The national anthem was presented by the police band, after which the president son was invited to give an opening speech.I did not bother to look at him at first but his voice sounded familiar.I raised my head in a bid to see the president son and i got the shock of my life. How can i ever forget him? How can i ever forget those beautiful dimples? How can i ever forget a lost buddy? I could not believe my eyes. I was in a state of shock and i had to cover my mouth with my hand in order not no scream out his name.As fate will have it, he looked at me and stopped his speech half way.He smiled at me and i felt my heart sink.
…to be continued