Please Break My Heart – Episode 3

By Tomi Adesina

All Episodes Of PBMH

“Do you think that Dare would grant me the opportunity to attend the programme?” I asked Toni waving an invitation card before her. Toni raised her head slightly and took a quick peek at the card. “You will have to see for yourself, you are very new here and a function would be regarded as inappropriate”, she replied. “I have never missed it and I don’t intend to now”, I replied and left for Dare’s office. “Morning Dare” I said. He nodded. “I would like to be excused from work tomorrow”, I said. “Are you feeling ill?” He asked without looking up, his gaze was totally fixed to his laptop, who does he think he is? He should have at least looked at me. “No, but I have a very important function to attend”, I replied. “What function can be more important than your job here”? He asked staring at my hand. At least, he is looking at me now. “It is a service for my mother”, I replied. His look was now very stern. “Is she a clown?” Why would she want a service? He asked, looking irritated. Listen to me, if you go for it, you can kiss your job goodbye, he added and faced his laptop. I flung the card at him in utter disgust, “it is a remembrance service for my late mother, and I quit”! I yelled and walked out.

                “Cheer up honey”, Jake said as he wiped my tears. “He called my mother a clown”, I mumbled. That Jerk! “He doesn’t deserve your tears”, he replied. “I don’t want to work here again, take me away from here Jake”, I said. “We would clear your desk tomorrow”, he replied, opening the door for me. I sat in the car feeling awful; Jake smiled at me. Jake’s smile came as a relief, there was something “kind” about his smile. We left for his place. I will get you something to drink; he said and left for his kitchen. I stared at a picture of Jake and I on our graduation from High School. “How could he still keep such a picture?” I thought. I had no idea where mine was, and moreover, I thought the picture looked boring. We were just two youngsters leaving High School and looked quite nervous. I snapped out of my thoughts as he returned with a can of soda. “I want to start my driving lessons this weekend”, I said. “I am not tired of driving you around”, he replied handing me the soda. I know, but I want to be able to drive myself around and not wait on my office stairs for about twenty minutes like I did today, I said. “That was an emergency, if you had called me prior to the time, you know that I would have been there”, he replied. That is the typical Jake Martin-Oje reply. I have to put an end to his “over protectiveness”; although I can’t really say that Jake is over protective. “But I don’t want you running here and there for me”, I said.” Moreover, I don’t like your new ‘beamer’”, I added with a light smile. “What will ever satisfy you”? He asked with a wide smile.

                “Brethren, we are gathered here today for the 20th remembrance service of late Mrs Danielle Williams…” I watched the priest go over the formalities. I found it hard to shed a tear, maybe it was because I never really knew her, but as I stare at her grave like the past years, I feel drawn to her. She died on my 1stbirthday, she was trying to bake my cake when she heard me cry, she rushed to me but on her way, she slipped and hit her head and that was the end of my mother and my birthdays. My father never celebrated any of my birthdays and when he told me how she died, I vowed never to have fun on my birthday, anyways, and today is my birthday, my 24th birthday. My mother’s remembrance service has always been held on my birthday, so that was enough for me to feel sad and forget ever having fun. “What is fun by the way without a mother?”

                “Happy birthday”, Jake whispered into my ear. I nodded without a smile. Jake always tried to make me happy on my birthdays; he always baked me a cake, which I always dropped at the cemetery after the service. The cemetery was soon empty, Dad and his guests had left, leaving Jake and I and some anonymous figures paying their last respects. I stared at my mother’s grave; my mum would have been 50 if not for her unfortunate death. I dropped the cake and tears flowed down my eyes. That is the part where I always had to shed the tears, it felt special in a sad way to present the cake we never baked on my 1stbirthday. “Would she eat the cake?” I asked Jake with a smile. His amused grin broadens and he put his hand on my shoulder. I faced the grave and dropped a flower. “I am sorry for your loss”, a thick voice said with a musical British accent. I turned round to see Dare Ade-Cole in a tightly fitted black suit; I nodded and faced her grave. “Take the week off, see you on Monday”, he said and walked away. I turned back and watched him leave. “You might need a minute alone” Jake said. “I will be by the car”, he added and left.

                “A 24thbirthday needs to be cherished and spent well”, Jake said as he drove. “That rule doesn’t apply to me”, I replied. “Here we go again Darlene, for how long will you allow this to continue?” He asked. I gave no answer to his “rhetorical question”. He obviously knew my answer, why was he asking? “You cry every time on your birthday, I honestly think that you should tell your Dad to change the remembrance date”, he said. “I want the remembrance left on this date”, I replied. He sighed deeply. “I get it”, he said and drove on.

______

I could hear the sound of slow hip-hop pulsing behind the closed windows of the Beamer as I approached. But Jake killed the music as soon as I reached for the door handle. I slid into the front seat next to Jake and told him to take me home.

                                “Who was that you were listening to?” I asked him.

                                “Um, that was Lil Wayne.”

                                “How to love?”

                                “That’s right.”

                Over the years, I had become knowledgeable in the subtle distinctions, regional and otherwise, in rap and hip-hop. Across the board, most of my friends listened to it. Some of them fashion their life styles from them. I wouldn’t think of being totally tuned to music, especially rap. I reached for the disk rack and chose one at random. I noted the handwritten ‘Dido’ on the disk. I handed the disk over to Jake and he slid it into the dashboard stereo. I didn’t have to tell him to play it at a volume so low that it would amount to little more than background noise. Jake knew I hated noise. I turned my phone on, checked my voice mail and had two unread messages. One from my great aunt, Aunt Sally, she was apologizing for missing my mom’s remembrance service, this is the fifth consecutive time she was missing the service, so I was used to her constant apology messages. The other message was from Mrs Small.

                I called Mrs Small back first; I was uninterested in returning Aunt Sally’s message. “Hi Toni”, I said, signalling to Jake to totally ki*ll the music. “Hey Honey, how are you holding up?” she asked. “I have been holding up well for the past twenty four years”, I replied sarcastically. Honestly, why would Toni ask how I have been holding up? My mom has been long dead. “I just thought you might need comfort”, she said sounding a bit defensive. “Oh Toni, where is your sense of humour?” I asked. At this junction, she burst into a mean laughter. “I do not like the sound of your laughter,” I said into the receiver. “Dare came for the service”, I said. “Oh! That’s nice to know”, she replied. “I am happy to know that he at least has one human bone in him,” I said. “And speaking of Dare coming to my mom’s service, how did he get the address?” I asked quickly. “Apart from the fact that you in your rude behaviour flung the card at him, I gave him the address”, she replied. “Did he ask for the address?” I asked smiling impressively. “Yes, he did”, she replied. The line started to break as we spoke and so I had to end my call with Toni.

                The traffic heading downtown bottle necked on the third mainland bridge. I spent the time in the car ‘tweeting’ and trying not to think about going back to Ade-Cole and the argument I had with my Dad about resenting him, My Dad was right and that’s what hurts. For a long time, I had been angry with the old man for a lot of reasons. It was something I had thought about changing myself. In a few minutes, we broke free of the bottleneck. I looked out of the window and saw no accident, I saw nobody with a flat Tyre and no high way patrol cruiser parked on the shoulder. I saw nothing to explain the traffic. It was often like that. Freeway traffic in Lagos was as mysterious as the dark side of the moon. It moved and flowed, then stalled, crawled and stopped for no easily explainable reason.

                “Always thought that I would love to live by the sea…” Dido’s lyrics titled straight into my thoughts or rather interrupted my thoughts. I didn’t vision my life to be this complicated, never knew that Lagos could shrink so much that I would have to run into Mr Ex every other day of the week. I tried not to think about work. There are so many assholes to think about and so little time.

                Then solid bass blaring from the custom beamer speaker almost sent my head into the window glass, I turned swiftly to look at Jake with my hands covering both ears, I frowned at Jake who seemed to derive so much pleasure from the noise he had created, noticing the swift movement, he turned in my direction.

                                “What?” he asked with a smile.

                Then he noticed the frown and the hand to ear gesture it made, he let the volume down from the media control on the steering wheels. Then he looked back at me and noticed that I hadn’t looked away and still had the frown on, I spotted his fumy smile spreading across his face, showing his white but broken canine.

                                “That was M.I”, had to play him out loud.

                   I shrugged and thought, what it was with Ex BHS boys and M.I….he is like a super hero to them. No disrespect to the Lagos superstar, but I wouldn’t even have him on my rack. “Why do you hate M.I so much?” Jake asked as if he read my thoughts. “I have never liked him, even knowing that he is an alumnus of our high school,” I replied coolly applying my lip gloss. “What will you rather have me play?” “Adele?” he asked with a grimace. “More like it”, I replied smiling. “I will not play such music in this royal stereo of mine”, he replied proudly. “And I suppose M.I is royalty?” I asked mockingly. Jake and I were very used to banters, especially on our favourites; we basically didn’t like the same things. I can’t stand M.I, and Jake thinks that Adele is a pathetic musician. When it comes to our choices in Football, I love Chelsea Football Club, and Jake can go on everyday about Arsenal Football Club. To worsen our usual Footie outburst, Jake hates my best footballer, Didier Drogba. Why would anyone hate Didier Drogba? I couldn’t really blame Jake, Drogba is known for “ripping the brakes out of Arsenal’s Car” whenever the London derby arises.

                   Jake drove on into the night as I remained glued to my smashing new blackberry  I had several “pings” to reply and of course, have fun “tweeting”. The journey to my house was taking longer than expected, but I couldn’t be bothered, I was with Jake! I feel very safe with my “big bear” as I love to call Jake. Speaking about Jake’s physique, he had been working out since high school when I had problem with seniors boys coming at me because of the “so-called attitude” they said I posed at them whenever they wanted to go out with me. Jake got into fights in school because of me, I always got on people’s nerves and then I rush to Jake for help, he has always been there, and nothing has changed.

                   “Here we are”, Jake said as he pulled up. I stared at the very familiar environment, then turned and punched Jake hard on the shoulder. “What are we doing at the galleria?” I asked as I peered out of the tinted glass windows. “We are here to celebrate your first ever birthday and put an end to your annoying birthdays”, he replied turning his phone off. “Jake, my mom’s remembrance service started when I was four years old, so I don’t think it’s that bad, and beside I like hanging with my mom at the cemetery” I replied. “It is horrible you know what?, you’re hanging out with me today and we are having fun even if I have to drag you along screaming and kicking all the way” he said smiling, “Jake, am I crazy?” I said smiling back at him. “No you’re not crazy, and I’m the crazy one in case you forgot”, he replied closing the doors of the car.

…to be continued