THE OUTCAST – Episode 13.
A Story By Amah
“Except if you don’t love or care about me like I do… You don’t really care..all that matters to you is to see me leave here..you hate to see my face… You feel you don’t deserve anybody to love you because you are not worthy… I see I’m wasting my time with you…
” Zila please don’t say that…please.. I only want you to be happy and safe..I want you to have a normal live.. And you can’t have a normal live among the outcast…I’m a forbidden soul..Zila..I..
.I..I can’t offer you anything because I’m worthless… I don’t deserve somebody like you..please understand me.. And leave with Mbazi…there’s no home here for you in a place like this… Yo..
“That’s the annoying part..when you keep saying that..it pisses me off.. There’s a home for me here..far better than what I grew up with..there’s a loving home..where every one is accepted no matter what your sins may be, a home where there’s love and unity among the people… A home where there’s no discrimination.. That’s where I want to be Ladi.. You are not worthless.. Stop saying stupid things like that… Everyone is equal before the gods.. I’m not saying you should offer me anything.. all i want is your love.. Stop telling me to go with Mbazi, to go and get married and have a family… I don’t want to go.. Stop forcing me..I’m tired of you constantly telling me to leave here… Me coming here was my own choice..I wasn’t forced and i didn’t commit any crime to be cast off…I choose to come and live among you…and I’m not complaining… If I decides to live tomorrow I Will do that willingly not you forcing me to live.. I have loved you Ladi.. I love you even when I can’t see what you look like underneath those ugly facial mask, you have not bother to even allow me have a peep of what you look like, it doesn’t bother me much because I’m in love with your person..your spirit and soul not with the face, if you choose to show me what you look like it won’t matter much…why can’t reciprocate..I’m not asking for heaven or earth but your love…love me back..stop pushing me off..
“I do Zila…I really lo..lo…uhmm..Zila I feel stupid already trying to say that..I don’t deserve you..I’m not worthy of your love..and I don’t even deserve to have feelings towards you..is impossible thing… I don’t want you to be hurt.. It Will kill me..I want you to be happy.. I will be very happy knowing you are living a honourable live outside here..please..oh Zila…why are you doing this…I really do lo…
” say it…say it out loud..say it Ladi..I want to hear you say that you love me.. Why is it heavy for you to say..why is it stock in your throat…if you really do love me..say it out..say it Ladi..
“Zila..please don’t do this..please I beg you..you are tormenting me…I can’t say it I feel unworthy of saying it..please Zila..
I listened as Zila and Ladi kept on arguing… The strange girl was quite all through.. Zila sounded like she want yo cry..and I watched tears roll down her face as she kept asking Ladi to say the word..Ladi looks so tormented… He tried to move close to Zila but went back again..he wanted to hold her but don’t know how..I wanted to go and hold Zila, she needed to understand Ladi, Ladi loves her..it was so obvious from the start but he doesn’t know how to say the word ” love” because is the only thing he lacked from childhood, he felt undeserving of Zila loving him..I saw that from his actions and tone of voice..he sound like a wounded Young man
Then I watch Zila make a threat
“If you don’t say it Ladi, if you don’t say that you love me… then I will leave here with Mbazi, and you Will never ever hear of me again..
I watch as Ladi move uncomfortably.. Like a confused young man, he wipe something from his face, i guess he was crying beneath the mask, Zila was really putting a hard choice to him like a knife to his throat..other outcast came out of their huts to watch the two love birds..I know Zila didn’t mean to follow me home, she just wanted to hear Ladi say the word, I needed to save the moment, so I walked up to Zila and drew her into My arms, she sobbed, I assured her that Ladi loves her but is very hard for him to say at the moment, she nodded and I knew she believed me.
After the drama between Zila and Ladi, they walked me down silently, nobody said a word, I needed to speak to the strange girl alone, who was also following quietly, so I kissed my sister goodbye and waved at Ladi, who nodded back at me, they turned back quietly, Ladi still kept his distance from Zila, I heard Zila say something to him, but he didn’t respond, but later said something that got Zila laughing and running after him, which he ran faster to avoid Zila getting close,
I smiled and knew Zila Will be fine. She found not just somebody that loves and Care about her but also a friend in Ladi.
I continued my journey with the strange girl who was ahead of me, distancing herself, I looked up the tree and knew somebody was watching us, but I needed to talk to the girl, who was also on a facial veil
“Hmmm..slow down..I’m going back home not to war, stop making me to rush after you.. I’m not in a haste… What is this road path called..
I wanted to start a conversation with her but she wasn’t responding.. I tried saying some other things but she never reply.. I begged for her name but she still ignore me..
” why are always like this…I heard you speak to me through the bush path along the waterfall.. I recognized your voice, Why are you not talking and always running away from me, I’m begging for your name please.. What is your name… Hmmmm…okay.I..I give up..
We walked silently until I got to the boundary, she stood and faced me as i proceed my journey alone, I sighed heavily knowing I will really miss seeing her and not being able to get even her name,
I was already told on how to go about my journey to avoid being seen by my people, I walked down leaving her standing by an big oak tree, I felt like running back and forcing the name out of her, I wanted to shake her up until she’s able to tell me what her name is, why is everyone over here stubborn, Ladi obviously love Zila but it was difficult for him to prophesy it to her, the strange girl comfortably spoke to me among the grown bushes but find it difficult to give me her name or even to talk with me, is really heart breaking, I felt sad but cheer myself up as i proceed with My journey, I looked back to Wave her good bye if she will at least Wave back but she was gone, I stood and scanned the whole place with my eyes but she was nowhere to be found, I turned and continued my lonely journey then suddenly i heard the same voice again
“Kumar…Kumar is the name.
I quickly turned in shock because I wasn’t expecting the sudden boast, she was up the tree, she spoke so loudly that it echoed in my head, ” Kumar…Kumar”.
I stood and smile up the tree, even though I couldn’t see her because the oat tree leaves covered her up and whoever that was with her up there,
“Thank you Kumar, I appreciate… Good bye..
I wasn’t expecting a reply but it came with my name in it, the way she called my name, sounded so sweet to my ears, I felt like running up the tree and giving her a warm hug.
” Good bye Mbazi…thank you for accepting us the way we are..may the gods bless you as you travel down to your people.. Your sister is safe with us until she decides to return back…go well Mbazi..
I was speechless just hearing her speak to me in that manner, I smile boldly before bowing my head in respect after which i turned and continue my journey with joy in my heart.