Jack And The Residents – Episode 5

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Episode 5
© Kayode Odusanya

The next day, he was cleaning his apartment in the morning in jeans and singlet when he heard a knock at the door. He walked over to open the door, and there she was in a fitted denim shirt, tucked into a black leather mini skirt. Her sleeves were rolled up two folds, and she had a bottle of champagne in her hand. “Hi.” She said with a smile as she checked him out. “Nice arms. You actually look better than I thought you did last night.” She added.

“Hello.” He said with a smile as he moved aside for her to step in. “So, what’s the celebration?”

“I came to say thank you.” She said as she sat by the couch closest to the TV and placed the champagne bottle on the table. “Plus…today is my 21st birthday. Yay!” She added with some enthusiasm in her voice.

“Wow! That’s interesting.”

She looked into space for a while before saying, “I feel kind of old.”

He shut the door and sat on the couch opposite from her. “Aren’t you meant to be happy that you are now an adult?”

“What? I’ve been an adult since I turned 18. I traveled round Europe by myself when I was 17.”

She had an expensive looking long weave on, and facially, she looked a lot like Hollywood actress, Zoe Saldana, but a lighter version. “So…isn’t it a little bit too early to be drinking?”

“Early?” She Said with eyes squinted as she checked her wristwatch. “It’s…45 minutes to mid day.”

“It’s 11:15am.”

“It’s the same thing.” She said with a smile he found so charming. “And it’s my birthday.”

“Do your parents…Sorry; does your dad know you’re here?”

“No. He isn’t around. But I told my stepmom.”

He got a little uneasy when she mentioned her stepmom. “What did she say?” He asked

“What do you mean?” She said and laughed lightly. “I’m not kid. I’m 21 not 2.”

“Okay.” He said and studied her for a second before getting off the couch again. “Let me get the wine opener and cups.”


They spent the whole afternoon drinking, and getting to know each other. She did most of the talking, and he learnt a great deal about her. Like her dad and stepmom, she was very easy to talk to, and before long, he felt like he had known her for years. he had told him her dad had met her stepmother when he had come to visit her in France when she was living there. Her stepmother was someone she had met at various modeling auditions at the time, and even though she was about 7 years older than Damilola, they had become friends. She told Jack she and Nifemi always had a problem getting runway model gigs are they were a bit bustier that the other models, and so they developed a friendship over time. Her dad marrying her friend was weird at first, but she said she got used to it over time.

“So…do you have a girlfriend?” She asked out of the blue.

“What? Where did that come from?”

She was tipsy now, and laughed a little before saying, “I want to ask for a favor, and just wanted to know if you were hooked before I ask.”

“Okay. Well, I am single at the moment.”

“Okay.” She said and smiled. “So…the thing is. I have this guy I like.”

“Okay.” John answered as he took a sip from his cup, trying to think of how this had anything to do with him not having a girlfriend.

“He has been trying to have sex with me.”


“The thing is. I…I’ve never really had sex before.”

“Oh.” John exclaimed and looked at her dressing once again, wondering who would have ever thought she was still a virgin.

“Yea, it is that embarrassing.” She said and covered her face with a palm.

“So…are you ready to go all the way with him?”

“Not yet.”

“Okay.” John answered and took another sip from his glass cup.

“I want you to…I want you to Bleep me first.” She said and Jack spilled the content of champagne in his mouth as he coughed.


After coughing and clearing his throat for a few seconds, he looked up at her. “First of all, can you stop being so vulgar?”He said and she had a smiled “Are you for real?” He said after staring at her for a long time.

“Of course I am.”

“Why would you think I would agree to that?”

“Well, I’m just asking. I don’t know if you would or not.”

“Okay. Sorry, I can’t help you.”


“What do you mean, why? It’s just crazy.”

She was quiet for a while, looking down the glass cup in her hand, then she said, “I’m not your type?” He leaned forward like he hadn’t heard her and she went on to say, “You are not attracted to me?”

“It’s not about that. You just met me yesterday. Why would you even feel comfortable asking me to sleep with you?”

“I don’t know. You seem like a nice guy.”

“And that’s enough?”

“At least I know you won’t go around telling everyone you slept with me.”

“Then why don’t you sleep with your boyfriend instead?”

She let her hands fall to her side before saying, “First of all, he is not my boyfriend. He is is just someone I like a lot, and I don’t want him to go through that first time sex issues with me.” She looked at him intensely before adding, “You know it can get real messy.”

“This is a really weird way to see things.” He said and looked into space. Just then, a thought crossed his mind. “Wait, did anyone put you up to this?”

“What? How do you mean?”

“Did someone ask you to do this?”

“No. I just thought about this while I was here. It has been on my mind all week.”


“Yes. That’s why I was at your backyard smoking yesterday.”

“Well, I’m sorry, I can’t do it.”


“So…what were we talking about before you brought this up?”

“You were asking about the size of my boobs.”


She laughed a little before saying, “I’m sorry, that’s all Fred asks whenever we are having phone intimacy; even though he has seen my boobs many times.”

He looked at her for a while before saying, “Are you trying to get me aroused?”

She laughed a little more before saying, “You got me.”


“So…what do we do now?”

“We forget you ever brought this whole thing up.”


“And we watch some old school Kung Fu movies.”

“Mmm! Okay.”

To be continued



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