FORGIVE EPISODE 1
© Jones Kwesi Tagbor
“…… Please just stop it. I’m not ready to listen to any good news according to you or who or whatever. Look pastor, I respect you a lot and I don’t want to lose that respect for you. Don’t make me think you are also involved in this devilish behaviour of that so-called husband of mine. I regret ever knowing both of you. Just leave me to deal with him squarely. He thinks he can fool with anyone at all….. hmm not me. This guy has just stepped on the toes of a hungry scorpion”
Pastor: Forgive I just wish you calm down and listen to me this moment. Anger only destroys and makes you the bad person at the end of the day. I perfectly understand what you are going through now, but beware that the devil is always around to infuriate you to do things that will make you regret at the end. Just stop crying and be strong. I strongly believe God will fight for you. No one can take what rightfully belongs to you, if you put your trust in God. Can you drop all those weapons and look up to God?
Me: Pastor, if I don’t do anything to this guy my heart won’t be free.
Pastor: Do you really understand your own name? Your parents thought it wise to give you this special name; Forgive. You must learn how to forgive.
Me: That is the word I least expected to hear. Forgive. That is my name but I’m not ready to forgive Gilbert this time around. His grace periods are over. Pastor just tell me why I should forgive such an ingrate and a psychopath like him?
Pastor: Yes my dear, you’ve heard and done it a thousand times but it’s the notion behind it that is most important.
Forgiving seems almost unnatural, right? Forgiveness doesn’t mean what happened was OK, and it doesn’t mean that person should still be welcomed in your life.
Forgiveness just means that you’ve made peace with the pain, and you are ready to let it go. It is not something we do for others, but rather for ourselves.
Not forgiving someone is the equivalence of staying trapped in ‘the jail of bitterness’, serving time for someone else’s crime.
Look, the weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. It takes a strong person to face pain head-on, forgive, and release it. So if you are asking me to tell you the reasons why you should forgive your husband, I will just tell you that forgiveness isn’t always about others but about forgiving yourself.
Guilt never makes anyone feel better. So always remember to forgive yourself and move on. Just as you’ve calmed down and listening to me now, I can appreciate forgiveness all over your face.
To forgive someone is the highest and most beautiful form of love. You might just find that you have a sense of peace and happiness in return.” The pastor said.
I broke into more tears after the pastor touched the very soft parts of my heart. The tears this time around were moving at a speed just like the speed way of an industrial dam.
Pastor: Forgive, my dear. Stop crying. Can you tell me what the issue is?
Me: (In tears and with an almost choked voice)
“Pastor it’s a very long story. I don’t even know where to start from. I just feel like taking my own life now. Yes I think the best option now is to take my life because this world is full of pain. Why is it that my peers are enjoying their relationships and mine is always a bitter pill? Gilbert deceived me. Even the worst part is Afya, the person I thought I could confide in. Today, she could stand in front of me and tell me I should look for my size. (crying) Pastor allow me to die.”
Ladies and gentlemen, I want to share my story with you. It’s sad but I know by the end of it, you may not repeat my mistakes. I have passed through and have seen how it is like. You might also be experiencing something like mine but I pray you find your grounds very fast. My very first advice is that you don’t put all your trust in a man. I’m tempted to agree that, all men are the same. Well, you might have your own view but the truth must be made straight.
My name is Forgive, 28 years of age and a nurse by profession. I grew up in a family of four; two parents and a sister. Meaning my parents have two children. I happened to be the second and of course the last. My mother treated me as if I was an egg.
Anytime I remember her, tears flood my eyes. She was always there for me. My father was a farmer and my mother, a petty trader. To be honest, I came from a poor background. I choose to say poor, not because we couldn’t feed or clothe ourselves but my father’s farm was just for home consumption.
Almost everyone in the community were into farming so who would we sell our produce to? It was difficult to raise money for our school fees. The worst aspect was when my father went to take another lady as his girlfriend.
He must now share the little he has between the lady and us. We were not aware of this though. My mom told me some time ago that she named me forgive because had it not been the fact that she had to forgive my father, she would have aborted me when she was pregnant.
My father, after impregnating my mother left home in the name of searching for a white collar job. My mother realised she was pregnant two months after he left home and never returned after two years.
Until he returned, my mother didn’t name me. She only refers to me as Afi because I was a Friday born. All that while, he went to find this lady out there and forgot that he had a wife and a child. My mother felt she should abort the pregnancy after not hearing from him after three months. It took my late grandma a great deal of time to let mom change her mindset.
This brought up issues between them which my mother decided to end the marriage after he returned with this lady who was young enough to be his daughter.
My mother got angry and was ready to leave. My father begged and begged before eventually she accepted him on a condition that my father would send the other lady away.
He agreed and later on they organised a naming ceremony and named me Forgive.
This also accounted to why she cared for me most.
We stayed in a village known as Agorkpo in the South Tongu District of Volta region.
Their main occupation was farming. Life in the village was actually fun. The fortunate and unfortunate aspect of it was that I was extremely beautiful. At the age of nine, I had a boyfriend who was far older than me.
I used to take money from him to buy things for myself and no one cared to know where I got my money from.
Almost every month, I came home with new clothes. I started school from class three because I was equally brilliant. Will you be surprised if I should tell you I did my first abortion at the age of thirteen? Yes I did. Let me tell you about that.
To be continued