BLOOD ON MY HANDS EPISODE 3
” Jealous is a toxic emotion, it starts small but gets worse as time goes by, it makes people bitter, miserable and angry. Harbouring Jealousy can be damaging to a person, people with too much jealous in their hearts are easily provoked and might end up doing about anything in the heat of the moment ”
I was in my bedroom watching TV with my husband when I heard the kids yelling at each other, it wasn’t something unusual Jad and Lia argued each chance they got.
“Let me check on them” I told my husband
“They will stop soon don’t mind them” He said pulling me back on the bed. It got quiet a few minutes later.
“You see” My husband giggled
“These two act like cousins” I said and just when i was about to get back to the movie I heard Lia screaming.
“Mummy” She screamed her voice almost breaking
I quickly rushed out as my husband followed behind.
I was taken aback with the scene I saw in the kitchen, I felt numb I couldn’t move.
Jaden was lying on the floor with a knife in his chest as he heavily bleed, while Lia was covered in blood as she knelt besides him.
You see I knew my daughter was Jealous of her brother, several times we had joked about how she competed with him as though he was her rival. No one really paid much attention to the jealousness she portrayed because we thought she would outgrow it, not even once did I think she would go to the extent of stabbing him.
“Lia what have you done” My husband yelled as he carried Jaden to the car.
I was confused as I got into the car,I held on to my son begging him to stay with us but with each minute that passed I felt he was fading off.
At the hospital they asked what happened to him and i Immediately said he was was attacked by unknown people while my husband gave me an evil eye, I couldn’t risk getting Lia arrested, I couldn’t afford losing two children.
I kept pacing up and down praying for his recovery as the Doctors attended to him. When the doctor finally emerged, his face looked defeated and I feared the worst.
“We tried all we could to save him but he lost too much blood, I am sorry we lost him”
I rocked back and forth, not believing the Doctor’s words, I needed someone to shake me and tell me it was all a bad dream.
“No, no, no Doctor no not my Jaden” I screamed throwing myself on the hospital cold floor
I was weak, my husband had to carry me to the car, the drive back home was awfully quiet. We had lost the one thing that kept us sane how would we survive?
“How would I look at my daughter and not feel hatred for her? But would I allow her to get jailed and in the end remain childless?” All these thoughts kept lingering in my head as my husband drove
I looked at him as we were nearing the house he hadn’t said a word to me,what was he thinking? I knew just how he took pride in having a male child, how much joy Jaden gave him, I could see this was breaking him apart even through the silence.
“What have I done?” I kept asking myself tears pouring heavily from my eyes
My parents had rushed of to the hospital leaving me behind as I waited my heart kept beating fast.
“I didn’t mean to kill him, it was an accident” I kept saying to myself as I scrubbed the blood off the floor. Then I rushed to the bathroom and took a long bath, when i was done I walked to the living room and waited for news from my parents.
I waited for what seemed like an eternity and when I finally heard the car drive in, I rushed outside.
“Mum” I whispered
She opened her mouth as if to say something but no words came out. A small drop of grief welled up from the corner of her eyes then suddenly she broke down as tears of pain rolled down her cheeks.
I froze in fear and shivered in disbelief as dad carried her into the house.
I had killed my brother, how would I live with the guilt? What scared me the most was the fact that I could end up spending my whole life in jail for man slaughter.
I walked into the church listening to the cries that echoed around the room from family and friends. We were finally saying goodbye to my boy, the past three days had been hectic for me, I couldn’t hold myself together.
A mother’s greatest fear is having to burry her child, not once did I think I would see this day come to pass. If only God had spared his life and taken mine,he had so much to live for. I wiped away the tears that couldn’t stop falling.
When the coffin was brought in, I held my husband’s hand tightly. He seemed strong, I had watched how tough he had been acting and not once did i see a single tear from his eyes.
“Let it go Henry, let it go its okay to cry you have just lost a child” I had told him the previous night but as usual he said he was okay.
I was scared of what Jad’s death would do to my family. I know we were supposed to report Lia but I just couldn’t, we needed to cover it up, she was the only child I had now and I couldn’t handle the pain of losing her too.
When the pastor walked in, he said a prayer before reading from the book of Romans 14:7-9
“For none of us lives to himself, and none of us dies to himself. For if we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord. So then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord’s. For to this end Christ died and lived again, that he might be Lord both of the dead and of the living”
I zoned out after hearing that text, memories of my little boy flashed before my eyes. I fell in love with him the moment I laid eyes on him, so tiny and fragile I vowed to protect him through life, I wanted to give him the world but I had failed. At that point I questioned my role as a mother, had I not done enough to love them both equally? What drove Lia to stab him?
“Shhhhhhhh, it shall be fine” Henry whispered in my ears but we both knew nothing would ever be fine.
When it was time for body viewing, I walked in front if the casket, holding my husband’s hand as Lia trailed behind us slowly.
Tears sprang in my eyes as I stared at my baby’s beautiful face.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you Jad I am sorry” Lia whispered
“Go well my son” Henry said
I bent down and kissed his cheek before walking off.
The drive to the cemetery was filled with tears and silent whispers. When we got there the pallbearers removed the casket from the hearse and placed it on top of the grave.
The pastor said a few words, speeches where made and finally the casket was lowered. I had an emotional break down seeing that casket go down.
“It’s over” Henry whispered as he pulled me into an embrace
As I knelt down to place flowers later, i felt suffocated and I struggled to breath, before I knew it my eyes got blurry and I couldn’t see a thing.
To be continued…
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