Love Me Again – Episode 8

© Christabel Hilda Anani. (Loudest Thoughts)

“Two hearts apart, even far away beats for one another”

BARBARA’S DIARY

Mum:Babs what happened out there, I thought you guys went to eat out, but you came back early and the food has been delivered to you, it has a card too.

My best guess is you have a secret admirer.

Me: What card? Which secret admirer?

Mum I told you, I don’t want any man now. I tried telling my mum we lost our appetite and that we didn’t order for anything to be delivered,

I quickly snatched the card from her before she opens it.

Somehow am protecting this bas***d from my father’s wrath, I have a good thing going on here with my family.

Am working on adopting two kids and my life will be back to normal again I don’t ever want to get myself in that web again, well if I want to get laid there are a lot of them out there, I could just hook up with one random guy, besides am not sure I want to get laid now The words in the card pierced me so hard.

Hi Love,

I can’t begin to say how sorry I am but I know, I was stupid, I didn’t deserve you at first but I deserve you now.Am a better man now, I know you have heard this before.

But believe me now when I say that is over.

What should I do to make up for this? We have come a long way, I lost all my friends because I messed up Nobody is willing to help get you back.

I don’t care if I have to face your parents This time am ready to go through anything for you.Tell me we can start afresh. Am sure by now you heard from your friends I was wrong all long.

Am sorry for breaking your heart and trust I miss you so much, your love, smile and the meals.

I know you want to start all over but kindly include me in your plans.Even for the silent treatments, so far as I can get to see you every day, am sure I can bare for the sake of the love I have for you.

I will wait until you are ready.

Clyde,

Claytons Hotel room number 45A east end

Clyde has a way with his words, they always get me agreeing to every bit of his silly ideas but not this time

I tore the card apart whiles my mum stares on.

I ordered the food to be given to the gate man Surprisingly my mum didn’t ask much questions. I rushed to my room and cried a little, then I called up Bebe, malia and Livie they told me to do what I feel is right.

I told them I am sure I don’t want Clyde back anymore, they insisted I don’t know what am talking about.

It’s true, I still love the guy, he stirs up this fire in me am not able to explain, and he gives me the chills. I admit I want to be in his arms, even right at this minute.

But I wish he would have apologized when I was still with him. I would have taken him back, tore the divorce papers and give him a hot kiss to seal our marriage.

But now it’s too late, my parents are involved and there is no way, they are going to let me fall for Clyde again

I was in my room when my dad came to inquire what happened today with the delivery i got.

I explained to him, I got this guy asking me out which I wasn’t ready for and he understood saying so far as it’s not that heart breaker of a husband then he is fine This man will do anything for his only girl, I must better warn Clyde to go back to Nigeria.

I love him but I don’t want to destroy my family again because my dad might end up killing him and go to jail for it.

I thought of what to do until I remembered, i didn’t get the room number off the card, I sure do know the hotel But am not going to go there asking for a room number like some stalker I will stay put, until I meet him again, I do want to see him again Since the last encounter with the delivery.

I have not been able to get him out of my mind, I keep seeing his face everywhere now, at work, at home, my outings and everything.

He seemed to have an effect on me anytime he is around.

My soul and body yearns for him, it wasn’t like that back in Nigeria when we had the issue and I was so bent on getting him back,I think the difference now is, he has apologized and dare do that in a restaurant, the Clyde I know is a lot of things but he is too proud to kneel and apologize in a restaurant full of people.

He may kneel to propose or give me special gifts, but not to the extent of sitting on the floor crying. I thought for a while until sleep took over.

______

The next day at the office I asked the receptionist if someone came looking for me which she responded No, I was a bit disappointed but I sure know he won’t give up.

I was worried something might have happened to him, but I quickly brushed it aside when my dad came in to enquire what I want for lunch, he then decided why not go out for lunch rather.

After a couple of hours, it was time for lunch.I decided we should drive in my car.

A few meters away from the office I saw a car following us, I recognized that to be Clyde’s car after his last stalking game, I got nervous.

I didn’t want him to meet my dad, because they certainly will be at each other’s throat. I quickly pulled up at my dad’s favorite restaurant and saw Clyde pulling a chair in some corner.

I was thankful for that As our order was yet to be brought, I excused my dad to visit the washroom.

I beckoned on Clyde to follow me, he did immediately. We met in the hall way, and he pushed me against the wall.

I suddenly became weak, his fragrance, his masculine body and that face. I was struggling to tell him to stand down whiles we talk.

He tried to touch and kiss me until the thought of him sleeping with all those girls came rushing back in.

I pushed him so hard away from me and told him to stay away from me. I warned seriously, when in the first place.

I was going to take his number and arrange a meet up. I quickly adjusted my dress and left him there.

I realized he didn’t follow me to the restaurant again. My best guess, he might have taken the other way out.

I was done eating and I asked for the receipt when the waitress handed me a piece of paper whiles whispering a certain gentleman asked I should give it to you Just then my dad asked if there was a problem, because he saw me looking so funny, I quickly replied, I think I run out of money dad.

He just laughed and asked I should get my expenses to the accountant when we get back, he will get my credit card sorted out.

We left and I tipped the waitress for giving me Clyde’s number. When we got to the office.

I picked up my phone and called his line. He instantly picked up upon hearing my yells.

Me: Can you stop stalking me for Christ’s sake.

Clyde: Babs, am sorry for coming down on you like that.

Can we meet over a drink?

Me: I didn’t call to talk to you.

Clyde: If you didn’t call to speak with me, Why then are you still on the call, i just quickly hang up.

He called severally but I didn’t answer. I quickly called Bebe and told her what has been going on.

She only laughs at my predicament and teases me when she can, to her she wished i met another Clyde. But whatever my decision is, she will always support me.

_______

Later in the evening, I was with my family watching the late news and my phone kept ringing which I refused to pick up until my dad spoke up, is it that stalker again?

I realize you don’t want to pick up that call over an hour ago.

If he/she is still calling, they might be in trouble why don’t you pick up. I picked up and told him to call me in the next 1 hour, by then we might all be in our various rooms.

Exactly an hour, I took my bath, gave myself a real good massage and put on my best lingerie as if Clyde was coming over, then his call came in, there and then I realized I was fantasizing over him Clyde: Hi love, how was your day.

Me: fine, what do you want Clyde. Can’t you leave me alone? Haven’t you done enough harm to my heart? Why are you tempting me this way? Was it a crime to Love you this much Clyde: You still love me?

Me: No? What a stupid question to ask, I thought to myself.

Clyde: Please grant me just one meet up Me: Okay, tomorrow lunch time, Boyce restaurant.

Clyde: Thank you I quickly hang up before he could say something else I had trouble sleeping throughout the whole night, I can’t wait to meet him.

I went to work in my best attire, my best make up and heel, I was so happy modeling on my office corridor beaming with smiles which I haven’t done since I came back from Nigeria.

I remember I used to be so fun until I left London and came back, I kept watching the time until lunch time and I drove off to Boyce restaurant.

When I got there I saw Clyde waving from one corner, He is looking awesome today sine the last time I checked, I got there and he pulled a chair for me like he always does back then We were all looking weirdly at each other in silent until he broke it.

Clyde: I don’t know where to start from, but first of all Thank you so much for meeting me I want to officially apologize to you for my behavior in Nigeria Since then life without you has been painful, especially after I learnt the truth Me: And what exactly was the truth.

Clyde: Common don’t make this hard already, I had my own share of embarrassment from your friends already, and do you know what I had to go through just looking for you?

Me: and how is that my problem or my concern. You wanted the music that way so you must as well dance to the tune.

You still haven’t told me the truth here you know.

Clyde: Okay fine, I expected that response from you anyway, I know you didn’t cheat on me, and you love me enough to do that to me Am sorry I doubted you Love.

Me: who is your Love Clyde? You think it’s that easy to call me all sort of names and still sit here listening to you trying to push your way back in my heart.

You think am that kind of lady who wants to get broken two times.

Clyde: Babs I understand you, I know you don’t want me right now You are still hurt, am not expecting you to take me back either, but I do hope you would consider it.

I was stupid, I knew what I was doing will hurt you, But I did it anyway because I thought I was giving you a piece of what you deserve for cheating not knowing i was harming my own self.

Me: Clyde you broke me completely, I had you what do I need in a man again i just needed you to give me the benefit of the doubt Was I not good enough in bed, what else do you want, tell me.

Clyde: You were perfect, forget whatever I said I was bitter and finding ways of getting you out of my life.

Me: And how do you expect me to do that, you seem to have everything figured out, tell me how to forgive you, now I saw myself tearing up whiles Clyde made to touch my hands.

The thought of those hands touching those ladies, I pulled out and told him to the face I don’t want any virus, I have had enough.

Me:Clyde get those hands off me, before you can touch me, get all the test in the world done i don’t want to contract anything, after sleeping with all those girls.

I stood up to leave when he held me again.

Clyde:I didn’t sleep with those girls, and please don’t leave yet.

Me: So you were camping them or they were rather sleeping with you, i am leaving and don’t try to stop me.

He didn’t and I left quietly to my office i became so sad on reaching home and everyone was wondering what was wrong with me. Two days and I haven’t gone to work nor left my room.

My parents tried but I just want an alone time.

The next day I was home and I got 3 hospital reports addressed in my name My mum handed me the reports and was wondering when and why I went to 3 different hospitals.

I was confused too, until I opened and realized Clyde took the tests i asked him to. He is clean, no STD’s but he is down on blood, I quickly called him.

Clyde: am guessing you got your report, what now Babs.

Me: Nothing Clyde, whatever you wish to achieve in sending this down to my house, Well it didn’t work, by the way you need some blood

Have a good day. I hanged up, he called severally which I didn’t pick up.

…to be continued