Love Me Again – Episode 11


© Christabel Hilda Anani. (Loudest Thoughts)

“As you are busy with your anger, remember that’s when good opportunities come”

I went with my Dad after he gave him a weird look. He said he is ready to listen to me now.

Dad: Am guessing you know why I called you here.

Am ready to talk to you now. What are your plans for that home breaker?

Me: Dad, his name is Clyde and am yet to figure that out.

Whatever my plans are, I promise not to run off with him if that’s what you are thinking, I just know i still love him for what it’s worth, I want to give him the benefit of the doubt. Can you at least be nice to him from now on because he is going to frequent this house more often.

Dad: Alright that’s enough, Do whatever pleases you.

Just make sure am not around when he comes here i don’t know how exactly you got your mum on your side. But you have succeeded.

But know one thing too am never going to give you my consent ever to marry that fool.

Me: Dad you don’t have to worry, am not going to marry him.

And thank you for making this easier for me i won’t disappoint you this time i smiled to him like a small kid and rushed down to my room.I saw Clyde walking around uneasily.

Clyde: Are you okay, hope he hasn’t done anything to you.

Me: What are you insinuating, Please my Dad can never harm me. Get that into your head, unlike you.

Clyde: Babs, common i was just worried that’s all I didn’t mean to, I guess I have over stayed my welcome I will call when I get to the hotel.

Me: Please stay, I want you to stay.

Clyde: What for?

So you keep rubbing my mistakes in my face every now and then.

Common Babs, you are no different from your Dad, If you keep making me feel like the worse person ever I haven’t killed anyone.

I understand I broke your heart that am sincerely sorry, that I am ready to say sorry every morning for. You think it’s easy to deal with this heavy guilt am carrying it’s not, every day I see you, I remember too okay.

Am a human being too, I made a mistake but just don’t make it difficult for me, I made to hold his hand, he just pulled away and left, banging the door on me.

I made to follow when I saw my parents staring at me.Mum asking what’s going on and Dad looking victorious.

I knew he didn’t bring a car so it will be difficult getting one, I went out and he was nowhere to be found.

I called him severally but he didn’t answer his cell.The hotel claimed he wasn’t back yet.

Days passed by and no sign of him, I was beginning to miss him. I went to the hotel and met his absent, i waited till evening, and he’s a no show.

I came back home with my dad asking me if I have found him, I was surprised and retorted silently to myself why does he care. Just then my Phone rang it was Clyde, I quickly picked up.

Me: where the hell have you been? You just run off anytime there is an issue, Clyde I don’t want to go through this again. It’s not healthy, Now tell me where you have been.

Clyde: Why don’t I tell you that in person. Am outside your gate, am not sure if I should come in, I quickly run off, meeting Dad once again by the pool.

It seems he always want to be where I am with Clyde, I quickly opened the door remotely and saw him by his car. I rushed to hug him, which lasted for some few minutes, When I finally let go, he asked if we could go somewhere.

______

I totally agree with him, no more drama from my Dad.

We drove to a restaurant in town. We both ordered our favorites and had a sit down, after some minutes of total silence, he spoke up.

Clyde: So you want to know where I have been right. I went to the next state, planning a surprise for you except now it’s not a surprise anymore.

My mind was just not with him at the moment thinking of how to break the news to him.

Me: Clyde am rea…ready n…ow I stammered, and finally managed to get my mind back to the present.

Clyde: Ready for?

Me: To be with you now dummy. I want to try a different approach to love now, I want to give love a chance.

He quickly stood up from his seat, picked me up and gave me a deep kiss, which I didn’t resist for about 2 minutes, which he said thank you. You won’t regret this, he finally said.

We finished up and he drove me out of town to a new apartment, Guessing that was the surprise.

He wanted to get a place here instead of staying at the hotel, in case I take too much time to forgive him. I just stood there in the apartment and asked him if he has already paid for it. Am glad he said No, I told him to hold on.

From then, he comes to my place whenever he is free and my dad just shrugs and leaves the scene. i took my time to tell my friends back in Nigeria what is going on they warned him if he ever tries anything like that, they will personally slaughter him.

You can’t laugh, the look on Clyde’s face, especially how Bebe stressed the I will ki*ll you part.

______

I spoke with his parents, and they are only going to forgive him. When they see changes in his behavior.

Am not sure I have fully forgiven him yet, but one thing am sure of is I still love him. I don’t know how I can still love in the absent of forgiveness.

After a few weeks, I was with dad and mum watching some program on television, when we heard our door bell ring. I went to get it, just to see Clyde standing there smiling.

We had no plans, we spoke 30 minutes ago and he told me he was going to sleep.

Me: What are you doing here? I mean you didn’t mention you will be coming my dad is around, and we are having a family time.

Clyde: Babs relax, at least let me in. Am glad your parents are here, I came to see them.

Me: What for? Please don’t ruin anything we have going on now.

Clyde: I don’t intend to, I let him in after a peck and a hug, I saw my dad adjusting himself in the couch.

Me: Dad before you say anything, I didn’t know he was coming but he said he wants to talk to you and mum.

So please and please just hear him out.

Dad: Young man, have a seat, what do we offer you.

Clyde: Nothing sir, Thank you for this opportunity

At this point I was nervous, Clyde don’t blow this up for me. We all sat and was eager to hear what he had to say.

Clyde: First of all, am sorry once again for anything, And my Dad yelled, Go straight to the point, I don’t have all the time. At this point I kept staring at him.

Clyde: I want to marry your daughter, officially now.

We three all chorused; WHAT?

Dad: Are you out of your mind, I allow you to do whatever it is you do with her these past months because I made her a promise.

Now here you sit with me with this rubbish, This is the last of your stupidity, I will take, Now get out before I say something else. Clyde just sat there with his head in his palms.

Mum: My husband, don’t you think you are being over protective.

I mean allow them to do what they want. You can’t make a decision for your 28 year old daughter, She’s right here, ask her, If she likes it why not.

Dad: Woman, you talk as if you don’t love your daughter. And as if she has ever made any right decision for herself.

Me: Okay enough.

____

Clyde am sorry about what I have to do, I can’t marry you, not ever.

Clyde: Babs, how, why, Are you still punishing me?

Me: Clyde, you know I want to be with you, but not in another marriage.

But we will do it my way this time. Marriage is not the only way to be with you. This time, I saw my dad in a regrettable state, as if he was feeling pity for Clyde.

Clyde: Why are you doing this to me? How would that even work?

Me: You know am finding it difficult to forgive, trust and get my head around issues. But that doesn’t change the fact that I want to be with you, I just need a little commitment from you.

Whenever you are ready, You will sell off your business, house, and entire property, give the income out to orphanages, you relocate back here.

In this very mansion, we will both live and grow, We will raise our kids here, live our lives together here.

At this point my Dad shouted, WHAT?

Me: Yes dad, that’s how this is going to work. Remember this is my house too, and you don’t want me going off again.

This way I can see you every day and you can learn to like Clyde as well. He didn’t say anything, I heard my mum say she is right, just then Clyde stood up.

Clyde: Babs, how do you expect me to sell off everything I have?

I can’t do that, how do I provide for you and staying in this house is like prison. Babs please, is that the reason why you didn’t want me buying the apartment? If we are going to start our lives together not in here, where your dad here hates me.

Me: Watch it Clyde so you don’t insult my dad. I want you but I can’t go back to a house that holds a lot of memories.

A place where I can’t tell what you might do next, In this house, I have hope you wouldn’t try anything funny.

Because I am ready to provide everything, I will work now and you stay at home. I don’t want the case you go out and I keep looking over my shoulders.

Clyde: So this is more like keeping tabs on me. Is my word not enough, I love you Babs, nothing can change that.

Don’t cage that Babs.

Me: if you love me as you said, you wouldn’t have a problem with this arrangements. You said you want to be with me, you have the opportunity to do that now. Nothing is stopping you now, not my Dad not my friends.

Clyde: thank you Babs, you have finally achieved your purpose of hurting me. He then walked out on us, I knew what I planned on doing will hurt him a lot.

Especially selling off his property and becoming a nobody in my dad’s house, somehow I just wanted to see how far he is willing to go for me.

But I also know I want this for myself, Am too scared to commit now. After he left, my mum shouted, Wow and my Dad what a relief, i just walked to my room and laid on the bed.

This time the tears refused to come, until I slept off the next day and a day followed, he wasn’t just answering the call.

Mum said I should give him space, he needs time to process, I went about my duties, work, and outings with my family,the friends I left behind, from one conference to another.

It seemed like I have completely forgotten Clyde existed. But a part of me is fully aware he might show up, I begin to feel regrets for what am about to do.

I don’t know for how long I planned on treating him that way but that’s just how it has to be, I don’t see myself married again. To get tied again with some metal called “RING” I want to be free, I want a normal life.

Nothing like before, it’s not like I would disrespect my husband. But I just want to be secured, because I already feel insecure Clyde has been in London getting to 6 months now.

Just to win me back, if am so important to him. He will be back for me, i can’t tell how long.

It’s been a month already since I told him to sell off everything. And he flee like a coward, such a kid, I managed to insult.

…to be continued

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