Choices And Chances – Episode 12

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A Story by Lydia Jonathan

I was a bit taken aback by his word as my hand dropped to my side and I moved back a bit, but quickly composed myself as I forced a smile on my face and looked up to meet his gaze

“We’ve been over this Daniel, I already told you we’re in this together. I’m not going anywhere”

“I talked to my lawyer” he ignored my words and went on “I’ve already willed half my property to your name, and it will be given to you if you so wish, and the house”…… he kept going on as my mind zoned out. It was happening for real, he is actually telling me to leave him in this condition he’s in now

“…….. you have thirty percent of the company shares already and if you add mine…..

“I don’t want your money” I yelled prompting him to stop. “I don’t want your shares, I don’t want your property” I huffed in annoyance. “Do you really think that’s the reason why I’m still here? Or you’re just trying to lift the unknown weight of that damn mentally that you owe me for what’s going on, is that it? I barked, but he suddenly remained calm

“Oh my God” I ran a hand through my hair huffing out a frustrated breath . I can’t believe he’s actually thinking that. “I’m not going anywhere” I stated before turning around to leave but stopped when my hand touched the door knob. My hand dropped to my side as I turned back to look at him, he was staring intently at the floor doing his best to hide his emotions

“Why are you still pushing me away? I sniffled and asked in a shaky voice trying hard to fight the tears building up in my eyes. “Why won’t you just let me be by your side now that you need me the most? I want to be here to hold you, comfort you through all of it don’t you get it? Why won’t you just let me keep doing that without feeling you owe me

“I can’t keep letting you make sacrifices for me”he finally looked up to meet my gaze

“I’m not getting any better Regina”

“You don’t know that” I countered

“Look at me Regina” he barked when it seemed I wasn’t agreeing with him, but then his voice went back to normal

“I know you have hope, but it won’t get better. You need to accept it cause I have a long time ago. I know life sucks but I’ve lived mine stipulated time, so you have to go find yourself another life and make the best of it. I can’t keep you cooked up in here all day for my sake when I know something better awaits you out there”

“Daniel……” my voice broke as the words got lost in my mouth. He came closer and wiped the tears of my cheek

“I love you a lot and this is the hardest decisions of my life, but it’s for the best. We had a good life but all good things must come to an end surely, and ours came a whole lot earlier and we have to accept it since we can’t control the circumstances that brought about our own end

“I don’t want to leave you” I shook my head as I sobbed and he pulled me into his chest and rubbed my back as I cried bitterly

“I know, but you have to” he cooed

“Go live your life to the fullest” he went on as my tears rolled down, dampening his shirt in the process. “You deserve better and there’s someone out there that is going to give that to you……”

I left his office not able to look him in the eyes anymore, sad and angry that he thinks this was the best he could give me when I don’t want nothing but to be with him.

I entered my room banging it shut as I slid to the ground letting the tears flow freely.

I got up later on with heavy eyes, pulled out a box from my wardrobe and threw into the box whatever I laid my hands on not caring what exactly I carried. I zipped up when done and carried my handbag throwing my phone and other necessities in and closed it hanging it on my shoulders as I rolled my box out of the room turning back to give it one last look before closing it and made my way downstairs to the living room. I turned around one last time in hopes of catching at least a glimpse of him before walking out the front door but lost hope when I didn’t see him anywhere around. I sniffled and went out rolling my box behind me as I made my way to my car but caught John looking at me with empathy in his eyes. I threw my box in the boot and closed it entering into the car without so much as a word to a staring John. He got the idea that I was leaving and ran to open the gate as I drove out the compound and out the street. It was when I left my street that it dawned on me that I just left my matrimonial home and the pain was a lot to cause a mental breakdown but I sucked it in and and focused on driving so as not to be involved in an accident with one destination alone in my mind

“Hi” I sobbed as he opened the door.

___

“What happened?” she asked when I had calmed down and Dave got up and left the house to give us space.

I opened my mouth to say something but the words felt short as my body began to jerk once more with impending tears. She came closer to where I was and put her arms round me in a comforting manner

“Can I stay here for a while?” I pulled away, wiping my tears

“Off course” Jane nodded “You don’t even need to ask” she smiled and squeezed my hands reassuringly

Mary-jane and her boyfriend turned fiancee lived in a two bedroom apartment and are planning their wedding. Although I felt bad i’ll be imposing in on them, I had no where else to go and I’d rather stay here than go to my parent’s

Jane showed me the room I’d be staying in as she prepared to make dinner

Her fiancee came home later and right on time as dinner was ready and served.

“I’m sorry” I got up from the table and excused myself as I had no appetite for food and headed to the room earlier shown to me. I washed up and laid on the bed staring blankly to the ceiling when a knock to the door and it’s opening jerked me up. Jane peeked her head in smiling warmly before coming in fully a plate of fruits in her hands. She placed it on the bed and sat opposite me as we remained silent

“He asked me to leave him” I finally spoke pouring it all out to her and she listened with rapt attention. Her face turned sour and I could see the empathy in her eyes as she listened to all I had said. She pulled me in for a warm embrace and left me to sleep as my eye lids got heavy later on

“The ringing from my bedside made me turn and and unplugged my phone from its charger and pressed it to my ear not even checking for a caller id as I was too tired

“Hello?” I murmured

“Regina?” came his low strained voice

“Daniel?” I straightened up immediately and pressed the phone even more closer to my ears as if to hear him more clearly

“Daniel are you okay?” my heart was pounding in my chest from just hearing his voice

“My-chest, my-chest -hurts -Regina. I -can’t -breathe” he said counting his words in obvious difficulty for words

“I’m sorry Regina, I’m sorry for everything” he said slowly before I heard a loud thud like something dropping to the floor before the line went dead

“Daniel?”

“Daniel? Daniel”…. I cried screaming and it felt like my screams were caught in my throat as my body jerked with my sobbing.

___

I screamed but the sounds didn’t seem to be coming out as I kept yelling out for Daniel

“Regina….Regina” I kept hearing a faint voice calling out my name but was to absorbed in my tears to check who. The voice continued and got a bit louder and my body felt like it was being shook

“Regina wake up” Jane’s voice got loud and clear as my eyes flung open, my breathing erratic as I saw them both staring down at me with panicked look in their eyes. She sat, pulling me in as she stroked my hair and I focused on stilling my beating heart

“It was a dream?” I asked no one in particular as my thoughts were hazy

“It was” Jane said over my shoulders before pulling away to wipe my sweaty and tear stained face

Her fiancee finally left when he was sure I was okay and Jane opted to stay with me for the night

Morning came and my lids felt like they weighed a ton. I got down the bed and noticed Jane was no longer there as I sluggishly made my way to the bathroom to wash up. The water did close to nothing at making me feel like I just pulled a heavy load but got dressed all the same and made my way to the living room. Jane beamed as she saw me and I sent her a strained smile before sitting

“Where’s Dave?” I asked

“He’s gone to work” she replied placing a plate of food in front of me and I could almost taste the puke rising up my stomach from just the aroma. I smiled and thanked her knowing fully well I’m not going to have an appetite for food

“You’re welcome” she answered grabbing her handbag. “I’m leaving for work, are you sure you’re going to be okay?”

I nodded with a smile.

“Call me if anything happens, even if you want to talk and i’ll come running over. Okay?”

“Thank you” I said grateful for her care and she replied with a hug before leaving. I kept checking my phone for calls from him or any news but none came making me even more worried. But then my phone suddenly rang and with the speed of a light I grabbed it and pressed it to my ears.

“Gina” came my mother’s soft tone and the disappointment hit me hard. But I pushed it aside and faked a smile even though she clearly can’t see me

“Mummy, how are you? How’s daddy and junior?”

“We’re all fine, and you? How’s Daniel? She asked and my insides began to twist

“He’s- he’s fine mum” I stuttered trying not to give anything away, but I’m not sure I fooled her cause she immediately asked if everything’s okay. I lied and told her everything’s fine

“How’s Junior’s school?” I tried to cover up any suspicion she might be having, and I guessed it worked since she replied and began telling about things going on in their lives. We hung up after I promised to visit them

I sighed and took the now cold meal back to the kitchen no appetite whatsoever and headed to the room laying on the bed

Days passed and I could barely eat anything and Jane was beginning to worry for my health. I haven’t heard from Daniel as he’s line was no longer available. But Jane assured me he was somewhat fine since she went to his office and made his secretary tell her if he’s okay, and she did putting my mind at ease

I visited my parents and continued with the facade of everything being okay although my mom noticed my loss of weight, but I flagged it off as me just shedding some weight.

I decided to go see Jane in her bridal shop after the visit. As I walked through the door, a sudden surge of dizziness hit me and I held my head and closed my eyes shut trying to regain my self but then felt myself falling as Jane screamed and ran over to my side

__

My eyes fluttered open as I blinked a little taking in the sterile surrounding. I turned my head to the side and saw Jane sitting at the far end corner of the room, her head in a bent position. My eyes got wider as the sudden realisation hit me that I am infact in a hospital

Squirming a bit on the bed, Jane noticed my movement and ran over to my bedside, her face lightening up when she saw me awake

“What happened” I tried to say helping my self to sit up, but instead released a low groan as my throat seemed parched. She helped in readjusting the pillow, so as to let me sit up

“Here” she stretched out a bottle of water, removing it’s cap before handing it over to me. I took it, drank a little before handing it back to her thanking her

“You passed out” she stated as if reading my thoughts while my brow just creased

“Passed out?” the last thing I remember was leaving my parent’s place and was on my way to come see her. “I guessed I neglected my for body too long” I sighed turning to look at her but her face suddenly had something in them, something I couldn’t really place. She gave a strained smile before nodding “Yes”

“Jane is something wrong?” she squirmed on the side of the bed she was sitting as soon as I asked before opening her mouth to say something but the sound of the door opening cut her off. She breathed out in relive as the doctor walked in and came to stand in front of us, making me even more convinced she’s hiding something

“How are you feeling?” he smiled calmly and I nodded also giving him a strained smile. “Well congratulations” he said glancing at a chart, my chart I presumed before looking up to me once more.

“Yea, I’ll live” I replied sarcastically before my head fell and my mind drifted, and thoughts of all that’s been happening came flooding back, bringing about a ache in my head. I groaned raising my hand to my head as if to magically ease the ache

“…….. as it is still fragile” my head whipped up, barely catching his last words but didn’t really care as I was now tired of hospitals as I is but they were both now staring down at me

“Are you okay?” he asked

“I’m fine” I replied, as I lowered my hands, my gaze fixed on him

“I’m I free to go?” I asked and he nodded.

“You just have to sign these, since you’ve already cleared the bills” he gave Jane my discharge papers. She went about that and I got down the bed, making sure not to fall flat on my face as I steadied both legs to the ground. Jane came to my side after she handed over the papers to him and we made to leave the ward

“Make sure to take care of your health now more than ever” the doctor said to me, my brows furrowed but I nodded anyway and walked out with Jane. We got home and I headed to my room as Jane immediately left to the kitchen to prepare something. She came back later with a tray carrying a plate of meal on it and came to my bedside

“I’m not really hungry Jane” I mumbled as I felt the bed dip and turned to see the plate of meal on the bed

“You have to eat Regina” you’ve been crying yourself to sleep for days now and don’t think I didn’t notice. You have to think about your health”

“I miss him Jane” I sat up sniffling as the tears welled up in my eyes. “I keep thinking about him, if he eats fine, if he’s breathing fine, or what if he gets an episode?” the tears trailed down as she brought her thumb over to my face to wipe it off

“I know you love him, you miss him and you’re hurting, but you have to think about your own health for now. You fainted Regina, you haven’t been eating, you’re loosing weight and now you’re ca……” she stooped all of a sudden as if realising she was about spilling something she isn’t suppose to

“Jane?” I asked

“You need to see this” she said bringing out a paper from her pocket before extending it to me. I glanced briefly at her then the paper in her stretched out hand, unsure why she’s giving me it, but decided to take it. My eyes widened as I scanned it’s content and the paper suddenly felt heavy in my hands, as they got shaky all of a sudden from holding it. I looked up from the paper to Jane and she nodded as if in confirmation.

…To be continued

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