Choices And Chances – Episode 8

A Story by Lydia Jonathan

I scanned the paper as I couldn’t make sense of what was written on it. I held it closer and saw it was written by Dr Jeremiah. I brought my phone out to call, but what was cut short when the front door banged close. I immediately folded back the paper in my short’s pocket before the door swinged open, his eyes connecting mine

“I was just cleaning up the place” I said and he walked past me, placing his briefcase on the bed, took off his suit and shoes and went straight to the bathroom though not seeming angry but he didn’t say any word either. I did the cleaning a bit hurriedly and left his room. After discarding the waste, I made dinner and called for him and he came down, which made me wonder, he wants me out of his life, but still comes to eat when I call?. I watched as he took a spoonful and suddenly his countenance changed. He took about three more spoonfuls before leaving the table to his room. My face fell as the saw he ate nothing. He was still not talking to me. I heaved up and cleared the table before heading to my room, laying on my bed. My hand went to my pocket and I brought out the folded paper. Still not understanding at all what was written because of the words, I called Dr Jeremiah

“Hello Regina”

“Good evening Doctor, sorry for calling this late”

“Is something wrong, is Daniel okay?

“Ummmm no, Daniel’s fine” I frowned. Why won’t Daniel be okay I thought

“I need to see you about something?”

“Are you sure everything’s okay?”

“Yes, it is. I’m just curious about it”

“Okay, sure”

I thanked him and hung up, staring blankly at the ceiling before sleep overtook me

The next day, the routine was same and I left for work not hearing from Daniel before leaving. I came back and soon he entered too. Days passed and and I noticed Daniel’s loosing weight and for some reason getting pale. I tried talking to him but all he does is urge for a divorce and when I remained adamant he gave it a rest. But nevertheless, he still didn’t give me the time of the day

The weekend came and I went over Dr Jeremiah’s with the note

“Hello Regina” he greeted as soon as I got into the office, what was it you wanted to ask.

“I’ts about this, I brought out the note, before sitting. It has your signature on it, what is it about and why does it have Daniel’s name on it?”

Dr Jeremiah froze when he saw the note. “Doctor?” I spoke when it seemed he wouldn’t?

“I have to tell you something Regina?” my brows creased in confusion

“Is it about the note?”

“Yes” he nodded

_____

It’s funny how things turns out far from what or how we think of them, and the end result just knocks you of your socks and you just wonder how you didn’t see the signs

Can’t really tell how long I’ve been sitting here for, but he doesn’t seem to be complaining, not that he needs to anyway. But he kept stealing glances but didn’t utter any word

“Can I get another glass?” I beckoned and he turned to me

“Are you sure? This is your third glass” he looked down to the now empty glass,then to me in a questioning manner

“Just give me another, please” I said in a shaky voice, and as if sensing my sadness, he reluctantly nodded and poured me another. I downed it, the burning sensation no longer having any effect in my stomach

Not sure how I got to this bar, but I knew as I left Dr Jeremiah’s, I needed to clear my head cause it felt like it was on the verge of exploding from the much information I got. Alcohol was never my forte, but right now, I needed the excuse not to remember and numb out the numerous thoughts swirling in my head. But four glasses Later, my heart still felt stiffled, the alcohol having no effect whatsoever, maybe except getting me a bit drunk

I shook the thoughts away, with the tears I’ve been fighting a while now as I jumped down the tall bar stool, staggering a bit before standing on my feet. I brought out the last cash from my purse and placed it on the counter

“Keep the change” I said to the bartender, before turning on my heels to leave, waggling a bit on my steps

“Are you sure you can go in this state? I can call you a cab” he offered

“No thank you, I’m not even drunk as I want to be yet” I said over my shoulders before stepping out the bar, the cold evening breeze hitting me, and I welcomed it breathing in the air to clear my head. I probably shouldn’t be driving in this state but I wasn’t thinking straight, as I made my way to my car. After fiddling with the keys in the keyhole and slowly running low on patience, the lock finally opened and I slipped in, closing the door. After several attempts of failing to put the car on ignition, I cursed loudly hitting repeatedly on the steering wheel, hard. I took a deep breath later on and got down the car and locking it, shoving the key in my bag. “This day just can’t get any worse” I muttered as I began the long walk home.

After walking about fifteen minutes, there were thunder rumbling and soon later, droplets of rain followed, falling on me, but I didn’t mind, and didn’t stop

I finally reached my gate few minutes later being thoroughly soaked. I knocked and John opened up, shocked to say the least as he took in my appearance. I walked past him and saw Daniel’s car in the compound, as the conversations of before came flooding, playing back in my head

“So there’s no way?” I had asked with a shaky voice, and Dr Jeremiah remained silent, a pitiful look on his face as he stared back at me

I opened the front door and Daniel was in the sitting room, a tired look on his face as he turned to look at me before his eyes widened when he saw my state

“What happened?” he asked, getting up from the couch and headed straight towards me. And at that moment, I felt my heart constrict in my chest, as I felt the tears again brimming in my lids. He looked beat, and it sucked that there’s nothing that can be done about it

“I saw this” I brought out the doctor’s report from inside of my bag, holding it high up for him to see. He halted as soon as he saw it and his face turned angry.

____

“How did you get that?” he gritted out.

“I saw it in your room when I was cleaning up, and I asked Dr Jeremiah about it”. I saw his face go from rage to that of giving up. He sighed and ran his hands through his head

“Were you ever going to tell me?” it came out more of a whisper than I intended but he remained quiet, his back to me

“Daniel?” I moved to touch his shoulder and he turned abruptly

“I wouldn’t have” he confessed. “I was going to to put it off until……

“We got divorced” I completed his sentence and his eyes connected with mine. I could see the different emotions swirling in them, but mostly I could see the pain even as he tried hard to hide it

“That’s why you want a divorce”. It all made sense now. “You’d rather not tell me and suffer it all alone, than put down your ego and let me in” he remained still, as if lost of words and I could tell he didn’t need words to describe what he was feeling. I could see it his eyes

“It’s not your fault you got sick, you didn’t know” I placed my palm on his cheek and he leaned in unconsciously to my touch

“You see, that’s the thing Regina” he pulled my hand away from his face. “I knew I was sick even before I married you. I never meant for it to happen. I never meant to fall crazy in love with you. You were this beacon of hope and I didn’t know I needed that until I met you. He let out a wry smile “Many people passed by Regina, but no one cared enough to even ask what was going on. Then there you were trying to bail out someone you knew nothing about. And then I couldn’t help it, I wanted to know you more, cause your smile, God your smile, it melted my heart. I wanted to see it everyday, hold your hands and just….

I was already brawling hearing those words from him. All these while I thought I was the reason, but the reason was even beyond us

“I didn’t know any other way” he whispered

“I would stay” I stated. “I wouldn’t even think twice about it” I sniffled

“That’s what I was afraid of. I don’t want that for you Regina. I want you to have a life, have someone to be there for you, kids around you and someone who would make it his life goal to always make that smile of yours glow all the time

“You don’t get to make the choice for me”

“You don’t get it Regina”

“No, actually I do”. I swiped my tears away with the back of my palm. “I know you’re trying to right your wrong by pushing me away, but your wrong, it can’t be undone. It’s going to eat you up and I’m probably going to be miserable for the rest of my life if I leave. I won’t be able to live without you don’t you get it?

“Regina….

“No, hear me out” I yelled “I knew what I was getting into when I said yes, when I walked down that aisle, and when I made that vow. I don’t care what forces is trying to break that but I’d rather those forces than you trying to break us up. I love you, and I don’t care that you’re sick, it doesn’t change anything, you should know, you’d been pushing me away all these while. I’m not going anywhere, you’re stuck with me. You better believe that and…..

I was cut off when he cupped with my face and planted his lips on mine.

…To be continued