If there’s one thing I’ve grasped from my marriage is that my husband’s anger is difficult to comprehend. I sat and watched his facials turn from anger to that of pure rage
“Is it bland? He repeated again but angrier. I married you into this and you do nothing all day but lazy around. I go out all day, working my áss off to provide for this household and your family and the least you could do is cook good food but even that you can’t do? He pushed the pushed the meal away
I sat, filled with stifled anger but it dissolved to sadness by the time he finished. He has never dissed my cooking before. If anything, it was the only thing I was sure of in this house.
He continued yelling, but I blocked it all out, consumed with my own thoughts. The rumbling of thunder doing a fine job at blocking out his screams
“I’m sorry, I mumbled after he was done yelling. I’ll go make another one. I got up to pack the meal but he beat me to it.
“Sorry for yourself, he dragged his chair causing it to make a screeching sound and he exited the living room. He came out seconds later with a change of clothes and car keys in his hand and he was headed towards the door.
“Where are you going? I chased after him holding his hand. A storm is brewing, you can’t drive, it’s dangerous I begged but he pushed me aside and I landed on my butt flinching in pain from the impact. He cursed under his breath, opened the door and went out. I heard him call for John to get the gate and I rushed out after him and it was now drizzling and the cold breeze hit me again as soon as I got out.
“Honey please, come on in, it’s raining, I begged hitting on his windowpane but he revised and drove out as John opened the gate, ignoring my pleas.
Thunder rumbled and there was a downpour. I squatted crying silently,wondering where I went wrong. We were happy, we loved each other very much. We couldn’t leave without each. Where did it all go wrong I cried the rain pouring down on me. He gets angry, but he has never left at night.
I stayed under the pouring rain crying my eyes out, not minding it. It actually was comforting cause the rain was melting my burning heart and it felt some what nice as I cried without comfort
I felt the rain no longer pouring on me and looked up, but John was looking away but beside me with an umbrella in his hands covering me. His concern didn’t make me feel better but made me feel more ashamed, and I cried more. I was sad, angry, ashamed. Sad i can’t make my husband happy, angry he drove off and ashamed John had to see me like this all the time and the fears kept on flowing
I got up and headed inside after a while, drenched and shivering and John followed after me. I had a change of clothes, came back to the living room and John was still
“Madam, you dey fine, John came up to me as soon as I stepped in. I nodded and we sat and we sat in silence, my heart a bit warmed from his concern
“Are you hungry? I turned to him, after we sat we for a while
“errrrrrr he trailed, I dey fine he was gonna say but I left his words hanging when I headed to the kitchen without listening for a reply.
I brought the dish and I guess he felt bad and didn’t ask questions but ate it
“Is it good? I asked peering into his eyes and he smiled and nodded
“You’re not just saying that are you? My brows furrowed
“No madam, e sweet well well. He got up to leave but I stopped him and ran to the kitchen and poured all of it in the bowl for him. I might as well give it out than waste it, I thought
“No….madam, I dey fine, thank you
“I insist, we’re not gonna eat it anyway. He took it later after much persuasion on my side and left.
Hours later, the rain subsided and my husband came home
“I went to welcome him but got hit by the smell of alcohol. It could have been worst right? I thought as he passed out in the living room drenched..
Why is he wet? And did he drive home drunk?. I didn’t wait for an answer from him because of his state, and I didn’t think I’ll get one even if he was sober. I dragged him up with his weight crushing me. I cleaned him up and set him to bed and left his room for mine
My husband and I have been sleeping in separate rooms for years now, though it hurt at first, I’m used to it now. Been alone at home all day helped
The next morning I got up and started breakfast as usual. Few minutes later, I was done and waited for him to come down but he was taking longer than usual. Is he okay? Maybe he needs help, I walked towards his room but stopped at the door. What if he gets angry at me I thought, stood there for a while then came back down to the sitting room and sat. Some minutes later, he came down freshened up
“Good morning,I greeted and went about setting the meal
“Yea, morning he replied pressing away in his phone
“I made breakfast, I looked up and saw hm holding a travelling box in his hand.“ Are you going somewhere? I turned to look at him fully
“Yes,I have a business trip I have to attend, he turned briefly to me and then back on his phone
“Why didn’t you tell me you were going on a trip? I questioned
“Is there a problem? He pocketed his phone and turned to me
“Well, I’m you’re wife, so I thought I should know where you’re going. I whimpered
He started walking towards me and with instinct I began moving back slowly until my leg hit the table and I was trapped. He came to a stop when he was right in front of me
“Do I have to report where I’m going to you?he growled and I felt my breath caught in my throat. I shook my head in an attempt to disagree. He stared down at me for a while before backing away. My breath returned and I breathed out, relieved.
“You came home drenched last night, what happened?
“Nothing, he replied curtly
“You didn’t drive back?
“No,he replied and started pulling his box away
“Aren’t you gonna eat something before you go? I already made breakfast
“I’m not hungry, he replied without even turning to look at me, which hurt a lot
“Daniel, I called out and he stopped, turned and looked at me
“Where did it all go wrong? Fed up with everything I questioned. We were happy. But then you changed, you became this person, I gestured to him almost on the verge of tears. We told each other stuffs, I let out a sad chuckle. We do stuffs together. But now…I trailed. Now I don’t even know you anymore
“I’m gonna be late for my flight, he turned and started walking away
“Please, I begged, please tell me where I went wrong. He turned to me abruptly
“You wanna know what happened? We drifted that’s what happened. We were not that young couple we once were. He spoke and tears rolled down my cheek, but he went on
“You really wanna know what happened? You changed that’s what happened. You stopped trying
“I….I…., I stuttered unable to form words
“You were this…..this beautiful girl I married he continued. But now, you don’t even try anymore. You’re always moping around, you don’t do anything productive anymore, and you’re always to yourself he yelled the last part
“You made me that way, I protested wiping the tears away. You started coming home late, you always had different perfume smells on your shirt and lip stick stains. You get angry all the time. You never even talk to me anymore. I was lonely for Góds sake, I yelled, breathing heavily staring intently at him
We stood there for a while, no one daring to speak. “I’m leaving now. He turned opened the door, dragged his box and banged the door angrily causing me to flinch. I threw myself to the ground fighting the tears threatening to spill. I haven’t had a conversation with him in a while, and now that I have, we ended up fighting still and now he’s going on a trip for Gód knows how long
I heard him giving directions to John and then he drove out speedily causing a screeching sound and the tears came pouring
…To be continued